Now I need your help

[newjoe]

Hello there, now I need your help. I know, I know, I posted here not too long ago saying how much better I am after 61 days, well today is day 68, and I?m needing your help now. Sometimes, like NOW, I wonder how long this sobriety will last. Maybe I?m having a weak spell, but I?m still struggling with the end of my relationship that ended 5 months ago. You?d think by now I would be well passed that, but nooo. I?m still tormented by it. How could she throw the last 5 years of my life away so easily? I still think of ?her? with her new man, in the house that I used to live in, in the mountains with the trees and the deer in the yard. And now I?m all alone in this stupid small apartment in stupid Sacramento. Why do I still miss her? She treated me so bad.
So yes, it?s been 68 days sober. But I REALLY want to just go get a bunch of wine, get good and drunk, cry hard, yell at God, hate the world, hate ?her?, and pee in the parking lot.
But I?m afraid that if I do that then I?ll be drunk every night again, the last 68 days and all the hard work I did at the gym will go right out the window.
This is a horrible place to be; lonely, scared, angry, wanting to get drunk but couldn?t live with myself if I did. DAMN IT, I HATE THIS !!!
So I?m sorry to spew all that at you, but YOU are all I have.
Maybe writing this helped, I don?t know.
Can someone please drive to Sacramento and slap me?
Thank you.
Joe.

[tawnyfrog]

Now I need your help

Joe - would you accept a cyber slap all the way from Oz?

And please don't pee in the parking lot.

Hang in there mate, this too shall pass.

[Wally22]

Now I need your help

Sorry Joe, I'm in Canada, a little far to drive.
68 days is fabulous. DON'T SCREW IT UP!!!!!!
Be mad, be sad it's okay, you're entitled, just don't drink. Okay?
It does get easier. :l

[peacenik]

Now I need your help

be pissed...really feel it, don't drown it out.

i have friends in sac, i can call them if i need to!

[dizzle]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe, wow, I am new at this. I feel a bit at odds to reply to you because I joined MWO because it is my husband who is the alcoholic, not me, and I am finding it all so hard to deal with. But your thread is so heart felt and you have been doing so well. I am probably not the person to tell you to hang in there, that life WILL get better, but I am going to anyway. My husband did so well for 7 whole months and if you knew him, I believe that if he can do it, ANYONE can. I hate to say that he has now fallen off the wagon and the lies have started all over again. BUT, he did it for 7 months, and he will do it again. You can do this. You are right when you say 'you couldn't live with yourself if you did', you would feel like hell on a stick, with chocolate topping. I hope you have someone to talk to, and 68 days is such an accomplishment, don't throw it away on a woman who deserted you, and clearly has no intenion of being in your life. Stop wasting tears over her and put your energy into YOU.

[startingover]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe,
Dont give up now buddy. You really have come so far.
The best revenge is always living well, so for your sake and your daughters keep the momentum going. She really is not worth this heartache. She broke yours many times and you have been so much better without her.
So here is a big slap coming at you from the UK!

[joesgal]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe, don't give up..you have done so well, 61 days without al, that is truly wonderful an inspriration for the likes of me who is aiming for 30! I wish you well, joesgal

[JackieClaire]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe,
61 days. wow.
Another big slap from the UK. You must be covered in bruises by now.
JackieClaire x

[Sweaty Betty]

Now I need your help

Hey Joe,

A slap from sweaty Singapore. Go back and read all of your posts. 68 days is fantabulous, but I think now you need to look forwards, not backwards. Bets. xx

P.S. there are some great free meditation Podcasts you can download, I find they really help when I'm wound up or alternatively, exercising hard and fast to loud loud music.

[Blue Sky]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe

Don't drink! You will be so disappointed in the morning. Just think, sober tonight and then it will be nearly 70 days AF.

The only person you will hurt by drinking is yourself!

So sending you a kick up the butt from the UK (think you've had enough slaps now).

[gyco]

Now I need your help

yo joe,hope your feeling a bit better thats what thi s place is for,spilling your guts,i to have been where you are,and i no many others have also,as far as peeing in the parking lot wait till dark make sure no one sees you and piss away,ain't that fun when you can do it under a full moon,dont want to in the sunshine mt burn it,like to see you explain that,hahahah,sobriety like drinking is an art,the longer you work on it the better it gets,way the pros and cons,you dont need a lecture or a smack in the head,you need me to say keep up the great work gyco

[gyco]

Now I need your help

by the way sobrietty will never hurt you,long term Al abuse will,refrase one of my statements

[Anjicia]

Now I need your help

Hang in there Joe try and be strong. It ain't easy as i get lonely too and scared. Wow 61 days is amazing. The longest i got af was 5 and a half monthes some time back in 07. Since then its been a few days here and there i'm on day 7 now. Hugs from across the pond.:l

[Guitarista]

Now I need your help

Hi Joe,
I've been in a similar situation and it can really eat you up, as it sounds like it's doing to you, understandably. The pain will probably be there for a little while yet, unfortunately, but it's very important how you deal with it, i reckon. It wont go away if you drink. It might even hurt more. Time will heal this, eventually, that is true, but for now, sounds like you need a plan. Talk it out. Are there people you can talk to about this face to face? Are you keeping busy? I ran and ran mile after mile when i was in a similar situation, and i've got to be honest, i don't know if that helped at all. The thoughts were too all engrossing. You've just got to try to keep busy, and your mind occupied as best you can. But. you may also need to grieve, and to deal with how you're feeling somehow. Express it. (as you are doing) I think talking about it helps.
Time will heal this, but in the mean time, keep busy, your brain busy with other stuff, maybe watch a few comedy dvd's to get you laughing, and your mind off it.
If you don't have anyone else to talk to, i'm a good listener, so P.M. me anytime if you think it might help. Great job on your af time!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Now I need your help

Great advise Mr G.
Joe time is a great healer, I know it doesnt help you to hear that right now but it is true. Drinking will only make you feel ten times worse when you wake up but sure you know that. Try and keep strong for this too will pass.