The reality is really sinking in about what is going to happen with my husbands DUI. I am so mad at him right now. I had been telling him for years that this was going to happen. I had reached out to his dad for help and got nothing. I am so glad that it happened the way it did, because apparently he was not going to just stop. He says now that he knows he has a problem and that he knows that he needs treatment for it. Why did it take this for him to realize this? He will lose his job of 10 years. His income will drop in half at the least. I will go back to work which will be hard for the kids, they are used to me being home and available at all times. The bad thing is, that three days after he got the DUI he was drinking and driving again with my kids in the car. My 8 yr. old told me that "the waitress brought Dad a dirty Martini rather than the other kind". sickening. I don't believe he can quit. I think I should leave with the kids. If he is sent off to jail, I will lie to my kids and say that he is out of town working. If he goes into treatment I will lie that he is working. I will not have my husband tell the kids he will never drink again, because I don't think he can stick to it.
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Pretty low today
Hi Sawitcoming, I'm so sorry to hear your story. Unfortunately alcoholics often need to hit rock bottom before they get help. I know how bad it must be for you, but just thank god nobody was injured, if your husband is still driving, there is every possibility of him going to jail, I certainly would not trust him to drive the kids. Let's hope he will soon get a wake up call. Until he does something about his drinking you must look after yourself and your children.
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Pretty low today
hi sawitcoming,sorry for your troubles,but untill your husband does something himself about his drinking,there is nothing you can do for him,you have to put yourself and your children first,wish you luck,keep posting here maybe someone else can help you
:congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:
Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
I know enough to know that I don't know enough.
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Pretty low today
Even people here who have recovered don't know how to get someone to stop. I was like that. I never would have listened to other people. For me, it was a personal decision I had to make. And it takes so much effort, I can't see how anyone can make it stick without that personal commitment.
If he's still drinking after a DUI then he's not hit the spot yet. Take care of yourself and the kids.Comment
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Pretty low today
I am kind of numb now. I just cancelled all of the extra's we have in our lives. From extra dance lessons to moving the lowest tv package. Considering leaving, just don't want to do that to the kids. When sober there are few men that contribute as much as he does. He is not bad to them when he is drinking either, it is the bad decisions and examples that he gives. It's funny how even talking to friends today (the few that know what we are dealing with) and they think I am over reacting and that all of this will be dropped and there is nothing to worry about. It makes me realize how far in denial the friends are too. No matter what any attourney can do to get it reduced on the chance of a blue moon, he is guilty. I am kind of torn on whether or not I actually want him to fight to get it reduced. The one main thing is the loss of his job. I just feel sick about all of this.Comment
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Pretty low today
Hi, sawitcoming, is it a given that he will lose his job? I don't think you are over reacting if he is driving drunk. I would recommend that he try to get it reduced though. Is this his first DUI?sawitcoming;702295 wrote: I am kind of numb now. I just cancelled all of the extra's we have in our lives. From extra dance lessons to moving the lowest tv package. Considering leaving, just don't want to do that to the kids. When sober there are few men that contribute as much as he does. He is not bad to them when he is drinking either, it is the bad decisions and examples that he gives. It's funny how even talking to friends today (the few that know what we are dealing with) and they think I am over reacting and that all of this will be dropped and there is nothing to worry about. It makes me realize how far in denial the friends are too. No matter what any attourney can do to get it reduced on the chance of a blue moon, he is guilty. I am kind of torn on whether or not I actually want him to fight to get it reduced. The one main thing is the loss of his job. I just feel sick about all of this.^ My Baby Ruby ^Comment
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Pretty low today
Over 15 yes ago he had one. I think he will lose his job. It involves a lot of driving company cars for an insurance company.Comment
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Pretty low today
Yes, sorry but it doesn't look good considering what he does for a living. I wish I could be more optimistic here, but it could be a problem. However, on the bright side, no one was injured. However, considering he drove three days after his DUI...sawitcoming;702362 wrote: Over 15 yes ago he had one. I think he will lose his job. It involves a lot of driving company cars for an insurance company.
I'd say to err on the side of caution is in order.^ My Baby Ruby ^Comment
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Pretty low today
SawItComing ~
Is it possible you husband can get another position in the company until his license is reinstated?
So sorry to hear about what your going through. Your husband does sound as though he has a problem, however Boss man is SO right when he says that your husband has to do this for him and his reasons.
Best wishes!Comment
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Pretty low today
I read that you may keep your kids in the dark if dad goes to jail. I certainly understand that but consider just telling them the truth. I say that for two reasons. One reason is that spouses "covering" for the alcoholic, even to the kids, sort of enables the alcoholic. Second, it may be good for your kids to learn now the consequences of drinking (this is an inherited condition).
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Pretty low today
Hi sawitcoming,
i am sorry to har your story too. I think that it is imperative that you get your self to an al-anon meeting. It's not what you think it is.
You're husband needs to deal with the consequencs of his actions. Job or no. My brother went on drinking for years while his girlfrind coverd for him and helpd him so that he could keep the job.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease it will only get worse.
Believe it or not you and your kids can be happy and have a good life whether or not he is sober.
God Bless, you and your family
sparrow
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"Comment
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Pretty low today
Thank you for all of the replies. I am hearing that I am still covering for him. I guess I am. I was just on the phone with him and he was actually starting to get mad at me for not letting him be ok with it. He asked me how bad he needs to feel about it in order for me to be happy. I asked him how he plans on telling the kids? It will absolutely devestate them and their lives. He is such a good dad when he is on. I worry that by telling what Dad is going through that they will some day see this as "well, dad did it" and ok the behavior to a degree.
I just hung up on him. I told him how mad I am at myself and how sorry I am that I ever believed in him. Maybe it's time for me to ask him to leave... He keeps trying to call me back. I don't want to talk to him.Comment
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