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    #31
    Struggling again

    QuitinTime, you are determined and have been able to quit smoking, another intense addiction. Keep trying to cut down drinking days and hopefully over the course of time your AF days will become more than your using days. That is where I was at for a long time and now trying AF September. It is hard but I have been slowly building my tool box and using every tool I have. AA is also not an option for me. I attended several years ago and it was helpful, but right now it is out of the question and I am O.K. with that. It may be an option for both of us in the future. I appreciate your honesty and efforts. It is unbelieveably hard to watch someone in their final stages durng a terminal illness. Hope you have a support system to help you.
    Redhibiscus
    ______________________________

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      #32
      Struggling again

      Thanks Red and the others. So far AF 3 days this week and no major hangovers. Not bad considering it used to be 0 for 7. So I plan to stay clean most of the weekend and yes my goal is to increase the AF days incrementally ongoing. I'm fortunate that her medication keeps her quality of life up during this time - its just living with the uncertainty day to day thats a drag. But every day she's here is great. Thats the way I'm going with it. I have a great support group around me. I'm blessed.

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        #33
        Struggling again

        He QuitinTime I am and have been holding you and your wife in my thoughts. I have no words for what you are both dealing with. I spent five years as a Hospice volunteer, I hope you have some good support that way. xo Beth
        vegan zombies want your grains

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          #34
          Struggling again

          QuittinTime, I hope that the time you have remaining with your wife is a magical time. When I volunteered at the hospice, the patients almost always seemed so serene. I was humbled by their strength.
          I am so in awe that you have chosen to go AF during this difficult time. I think it is absolutely the right decision and is an act of such love for yourself and for your wife. I wish there was some way I could truly express how touched I am by your story.
          Sending cyber hugs and encouragement your way.
          Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
          If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
          November 2, 2012

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            #35
            Struggling again

            hi Quitintime... I read ur post and you seem very similar to me.
            our concerns and drinking cycles are the same.
            i've not had wine now for 28 days. i slipped on day 21, so we are not counting that day. i just moved forward as this isn't my first time trying to quit, and I know I can't let the cycle start again. it is just too hard to let it go and then to have to start again. it took me 7 months to get back on the wagon! imagine!
            break the day down in sections of no wine for now until you get a few af days together.
            i cannot go to AA as i live in a small place too and everyone knows everyone else.
            not much happens around here except people talking, talking lots.
            and i DON'T want them talking about me!
            we are not tested for drugs or anything like that at work.
            my doctor gave me a script for stablon and it's helping a lot! it's for depression and anxiety not specifically to stop drinking... but it works!
            its the week-end and i have been having thoughts of drinking.
            i'll take a nap instead, i had a nice lunch.
            i've planned out how i will spend the money i save on alcohol!
            i was spending $1000 a month on food and drink!
            i'm down to like $100 bucks a week... so that's $600 right there for fun.
            i will do just about anything to help myself at this stage.
            oh, and AA is online.
            I just got an account yesterday... i like this site better so far. the AA site seems a little hardcore for my little 'fragile' self. that doesn't mean i won't look at it though!

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              #36
              Struggling again

              oh and the first thing i've learned on the AA site is that there is such a stage as 'early sobriety.'
              i thought i was doing so well until I saw this. It made me realize that this is a very very long road. And yes, 28 days is great but it's only the beginning.
              I do as you mentioned I start getting confident and down goes my guard.
              Falling back into old habits/cycles is easy, breaking them it a different story!

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                #37
                Struggling again

                Thanks so much all. I can't go into too much detail about the illness she has and the situation as its so unique a combination that someone blundering into this site could easily put two and two together. But we are fortunate to have good Drs and Hospital nearby and I'm fortunate to have my support people and you.

                I quit AL back in the 80s and gradually got back into it in the 90s - so it took a while to get to this point and it'll take a while to go the other way - I'm not ready nor do I think I can pull the plug and zap I'm done with it. But I am ready to cut back incrementally and I think if I can keep at it I'll get er done.

                I'll keep you all posted - actually I was thinking maybe we should do a group thread - like something in one of the other areas to free this one up for people on the verge. I was certainly not happy a week ago but I'm better now. But are you interested - does anyone want to do a group - like a small group of friends in church or an AA group except this would be on-line and here at MWO? If so let me know and I'll start it or you can start it somewhere other than in NHASAP. It'll be a place we can go to commiserate and support each other.

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                  #38
                  Struggling again

                  1967;709093 wrote: oh and the first thing i've learned on the AA site is that there is such a stage as 'early sobriety.'
                  i thought i was doing so well until I saw this. It made me realize that this is a very very long road. And yes, 28 days is great but it's only the beginning.
                  I do as you mentioned I start getting confident and down goes my guard.
                  Falling back into old habits/cycles is easy, breaking them it a different story!
                  67 - A great year btw. I was there. 28 days - I haven't done 28 days AF in years. So you are doing great. Keep it up and if you slip so what - get up again and be AF again. Never mind stages and whatever. You did 28 days!!!!! Damn. Stop looking so far into the future -ODAT. If I look too hard at my future I'd get legless every night. If there is one thing God has taught me in this ordeal its ODAT. Dale Carnegie always said don't plan beyond a day maybe not even the next hour - Jesus said let tomorrow take care of itself today has enough trouble. - Bless Q

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