I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

[colbe]

I have a few degrading PMs from somebody that I refuse to share on this site because I have NEVER found anything but support except from this one person, and I am not as immature as you are....you know who you are and so do others that told me not to listen to you.

I am still struggling in a huge way. The meetings that I have attended really helped but I now live in the middle of nowhere and am feeling lost all over again. Lost job, no insurance, water in my new home is on but no electricity...supposed to be on today but the inspection failed. The ONLY place to plug in is the bar....I am not kidding.

Come on DeeBee, Cinders, I am drowing here. Every little thing I can read when I can get on line helps tremousely...and if I HAVE to say it again DeeBee, no running already! The shower thing is about my limit right now.

Love you guys, Colbe

[Sweetgum]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Hi Colbe, i'm here if i can help at all? x

[tlrgs]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

well glad to see you coming here and venting .. just try to hang in there .. things will get better..

[CS04]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Sorry to hear, Colbe. Many coffee shops and hotels have free wi-fi. You said middle of nowhere, but where is that, exactly?

We are here if you need us; feel free to PM me.

[1967]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

i have to say that i have found support in everyone on this site EXCEPT one person as well.
we all need to be so careful that our posts do not hurt others versus helping, which i know is the true goal of all who post.
it is so easy to be misunderstand when posting/writing email or in text messages.
many are still at the very vulnerable stage, let's be careful!
i would feel terrible if someone misinterpreted one of my posts.

[1967]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

great post sheri! i needed to hear that!

[Muddle]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Me, too. Especially the part about the mental foreplay, so true.

[Cinders]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Colbe,

What Sheri posted is so true. Until you are truly read to quit, and that means ready to fight back, you will take that first drink and then more.

I know it the same way Sheri knows it. We all here know it. Why? Because we have all been there and done that.

It is funny, because what actually made me quit was something I still cannot put my finger on. I didn't quit from some heinous event, I had already had plenty of those and they didn't stop me, I just simply woke up one morning and my head and my heart both told me, "I just can't do this anymore. I can't keep this up. I will accept that it is going to be hard but it is no harder than what I am living through right now."

I guess what I am trying to say, Colbe, is that one day I simply resigned myself to the fact that I can't drink if I want to live any kind of life. I decided that if I was going to be miserable, I was going to be miserable sober instead of miserable drunk.

It was the best decision I ever made.

I have help. I take Baclofen to alleviate the cravings and it does work. But it is only a tool. I still get the wistful thoughts, the yearnings to be able to relax with a drink, those urges. I just suck it up and say, "no." It truly isn't any less comfortable than saying yes and waking up remorseful, sick and self-disgusted.

You have a huge amount riding on your getting sober, Colbe. I know this and I feel for you because I know that internal struggle so well. We all do.

I am literally praying for you that you find your way out. Like Sheri said, do whatever it takes. Go to AA several times a day if that is what it takes. Check into a halfway house if that is what it takes. Why? Because getting sober is the very first step in getting your life back. Without your sobriety, nothing else will fall into place.

You can do it, Colbe and I am praying with all my heart you get to where you recognize you can and you will do it.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Colbe,

One other thing. Whomever is pm'g you in a negative manner and calling your immature, etc, obviously does not have and never had a serious issue with alcohol.

The oldtimers in AA would say that this is a person who is much closer to their next drink than they realize.

Ignore whomever it is.

Cindi

[aliame]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Hey Colbe
Hugs and kisses.
Thinking of you.
Pips xxxxx

[mario]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Cinders;706000 wrote: Colbe,

One other thing. Whomever is pm'g you in a negative manner and calling your immature, etc, obviously does not have and never had a serious issue with alcohol.

The oldtimers in AA would say that this is a person who is much closer to their next drink than they realize.

Ignore whomever it is.

Cindi

well said cinders,its hard enough to stop drinking without that crap,
Ignorance will get some people into places where there intelligence will fear to take them

[DeeBee]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Morning Colbe!!

Sheri and Cinders both said it so well -- I hope you took some of it on board.
I was just thinking that you should join one of the daily threads for extra support. I just saw one called "fight club" !! That's exactly what you need to do -- you NEED to fight this.

You know that we are all behind you 100% and support you in every way but this is something that invariably you have to do by yourself.

Sending you loads of good vibes to get you through today girlfirend -- come on, you can do it:-)

P.S. I'll go for a run if you do:giggle:

[colbe]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

That was a really good post from Sheri and Cinders, and thank you for the support from everyone. It is 8:30am, and that's what I needed to get my day going, hopefully a bit more productive than yesterday. I still have a list of all the things that need to get accomplished, but I slowed down "after that first drink".

DeeBee, I am sorry I can't run today because my running shoes are too dirty. You go ahead though, I'll watch.

[puddytat]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

"I decided that if I was going to be miserable, I was going to be miserable sober instead of miserable drunk." -Cinders

Hey, that's a great way to put it. It's hard both ways. and Sheri, that permission for the "just one" 1st drink -- that is a key thing to hang on to.

Come join the Fight Club, Colbe.

(P.S. about the member who is P.M.ing ya with nasty notes ... IGNORE. use the blocking tool to prevent further harrassment.)

[sunshine_gg]

I have the tools, why can't I stop this???!

Thinking of you...

Hey Colbe, hun....

Sheri's post was EXCELLENT (thank you, Sheri) - summed everything up beautifully. Like Cinders, I also didn't have ONE big awful thing happen (oh no.. many of them) before I decided to GET OFF this merry-go-round.

Please do join us at the Fight Club, or the 7.5 day pact... there really IS strength in numbers and we ARE here to support you. Puddy is right... use the ignore feature for the person who doesn't know how to support you.

Sending you oodles of strength to get through today AF. PM or call if you struggling, ok?

:l