Screwed up

[spun]

I didn't make it past day 3. I have been making excuses to drink each day and yesterday had two and a half bottles of wine. I feel so fuzzy and just "not here". I'm so disappointed in myself for screwing up and not even being able to go 1 week without booze. How do I ever think I'll get sober if I can't even go one week. I've ruined my chances.

[Sarasmiles]

Screwed up

Hey Spun,
What do you think pushed you to the point of drinking? Was something going on that you were upset or worried about, or was it just pure craving? I'm finding that when I really want to drink, I have to look at what that's about...Then tell myself over and over again, "it will only make it worse if I drink".

Don't give up, and don't put yourself down. Those things won't help. Every day is another chance to try again. Are you using any supplements? Do you have someone close to you who knows you're trying not to drink?

Remember that the discouraged, self-loathing feelings are partly a chemically induced depression caused by too much alcohol. You will feel better. You will do better. Have faith.

[tawnyfrog]

Screwed up

G'day Spun ... hey, if people got it "right" after their first try, we wouldn't have many members at all.

So you stuffed up yesterday. You'll probably feel too 'ordinary' today to do it again. So there's tomorrow, the start of a whole new week. Just keep plugging away and NEVER give up. One day it WILL stick. You only ruin your chances if you don't take any. Good to have you here.

(Hello from a Victorian)

[Winefree]

Screwed up

As Tawny said, Never give up!
Drinking will not solve anything. Yes it is tough to get past that 3 day mark. I was too stressed and anxious to make it happen time and time again.....it's AL that is causing the anxiety and it will not get better until you give it up for good. It isn't easy and no one ever said it would be, but it IS worth it and will get better if you give it a chance.

Keep reading and come here when needed to ride out the waves.

Winefree

[JackieClaire]

Screwed up

Hey Spun,

Read your post again and turn it around. You had 2 days AF. :goodjob:

Forget about the stuff up. It's over and done with.

Now back on the wagon and have a bash at 4 days. If you read around I think most people hit the 3 day hump.

Never give up on giving up.

Love Jackie xxx

[Opal]

Screwed up

Hi Spun sorry to hear your not feeling to good but you only ruin your chances when you give up on giving up. I should know, I've screwed up often enough. As Tawny said, new week, new start.
Good Luck

[tawnywitch]

Screwed up

hi, tawny 2 here, i messed up yesterday as well, sorry to say i bought a small bottle of wine and drank it last night, why? i jus wanted a drink and told myself i would have 1 glass saturdaya nd 1 sunday, came down this morning and remembered i'd drunk it all last night, feel quite disapointed in myself, but i wont buy any now until next weekend ,if then, and actually that's better than i have done for 15 year's, so quite good ffor me, today is another day and as they said here, one day it will stick, stay strong, you are not alone.

[Elsa]

Screwed up

Hi Spun
First time of trying I did 3 days AF
Second time 4 days
Third time 3 days
This time - I don't know, I'm back on day1, but prior to this site I had'nt had an AF day for over 10 years, and when I do drink I drink less than before.
Just keep trying Spun, you only really fail when you stop trying.

[spun]

Screwed up

Thanks so much to everyone. Your advice is all well needed and I won't give up - just disappointed in myself for not being able to beat the 3 day hump yet. Tomorrow is another day and I've gone AF tonight even though I was thinking hard about indulging. Watched a heap of movies to keep my mind off drinking ... forgot how much I love Monty Python!

Tawnyfrog hi! Great to see another Aussie Tawnywitch and Elsa - let's not beat ourselves over the head too much for not making it just yet. It's great you're able to drink less than you previously have. My two and a half bottles was quite the effort and shows I don't have the moderation thing happening at all yet. Best of luck to you and to everyone!

Thanks so much for your support everyone. I really needed it today and feel stronger for it.

[1967]

Screwed up

good for u spun to get right back on the wagon.
i've decided i cannot moderate either.
interestingly enough it seems i can stop for a long while and then when i do start again i think 'well i wonder how much i can drink?' i have no logical explanation for this thinking?
just keep trying.
i abandoned the fight last november and it took until june to start again.
then it took me until Aug7 to stop completely. i feel off zee wagon... a couple of times but am back on.
this site helps me stay focused on the fact that i need to do this and i can.
good luck!

[Emmy]

Screwed up

just a little relapse , take a deep breathe , realize your HUMAN , and start a new day .. ODAAT.. don't give in to the monster , Read Allen Carrs book , Its a good read and for me , it helped me quit smoking , I quit before I finished the book . I'm only a week AF , but in my mind I'm on a positive path, I can't allow the monster in , he scares me LOL . My prayers are with you all :h Emmy

[Emmy]

Screwed up

Great post Sheri ! :l

Sheri;729063 wrote: Hi Spun,

Good for you for going 2 days AF and for acknowledging that you had a slip. That's not easy to do, so give yourself some credit for the positive things that you did do. I'm sure you feel disappointed in yourself, but all hope is not lost because of one slip. With each new day comes a new opportunity to start again with a clean slate and another lesson learned in your pocket.

So, instead of beating yourself up, why not focus on what you WILL do differently the next time you find yourself in this situation? Spend time reading the toolbox thread at the top of the "Monthly Abstinence" forum and make a list of the "tools" that you think will work for you and use them the next time you get cravings. Check out the "5 Steps to Stop Drinking Alcohol" thread in the "Just Starting Out" forum and start practicing them religiously every single day. All these things really do work, if you use them! I read somewhere, that 20% is knowledge (reading), and 80% is ACTION (doing), and I think it's very true!

If you're not already using supplements, I would definitely recommend them because drinking alcohol makes us nutritionally deficient and causes all kinds of chemical and hormonal imbalances that make fighting the addiction that much harder than it has to be. If it's the cravings that you're struggling with, try L-glutamine and kudzu and be very careful with your sugar intake because sugar can really intensify cravings for alcohol. Try eating 4 to 6 small healthy meals a day and drink lots of water with freshly squeezed lemon in between because lemon detoxifies the liver and kidneys and also cuts cravings for sweets and alcohol.

Most importantly, stop feeding the alcohol junkie within as soon as possible! It needs alcohol to thrive, but will eventually die off if you don't give it what it needs to live.

Now, go forth and conquer!

:boxer:

Sheri

[Shikakai]

Screwed up

tawnyfrog;728870 wrote: G'day Spun ... hey, if people got it "right" after their first try, we wouldn't have many members at all.

So you stuffed up yesterday. You'll probably feel too 'ordinary' today to do it again. So there's tomorrow, the start of a whole new week. Just keep plugging away and NEVER give up. One day it WILL stick. You only ruin your chances if you don't take any. Good to have you here.

(Hello from a Victorian)

Wouldn't that be a GOOD thing? LOL!

No members? That would mean we're all capable of stopping drinking on the first try

Anyway, stay positive and strong, OP... I went almost three days without a drink, but I'm back upright.

Will probably remain indoors today, although it's absolutely beautiful outside here in Cali.

I just ordered Roundtable and a six-pack of (no NOT BEER) Sierra Mist :H

Kick back on the couch and watch my DVR!

[savon19]

Screwed up

This came in my email today:

"Failure in the past doesn't mean we will never be able to change as we move forward; however, focusing on past failures does guarantee their repetition. It's like driving a car and looking in the rearview mirror the whole time. You're going to collide with what’s ahead of you."

I know this is a lot of my problem -- I get so into beating myself up about the past that the "only" way to feel better is to drink!! Paradox. I need to focus on JUST today.

[spun]

Screwed up

Sarasmiles;728867 wrote: Hey Spun,
What do you think pushed you to the point of drinking? Was something going on that you were upset or worried about, or was it just pure craving? I'm finding that when I really want to drink, I have to look at what that's about...Then tell myself over and over again, "it will only make it worse if I drink".

I've been thinking a lot about Sarasmiles' questions and I'm not sure if I even have a really good excuse for drinking. I used to have problems with family, money etc. but have those all sorting out now slowly but surely. The universe has been very kind to me over the past year for the most part, and yet I continue to kick it in the teeth for some reason. Maybe I feel I don't deserve a good life? I seem to sabotage myself an awful lot. That's exactly what it feels like ... sabotaging myself.

My daughter and I moved almost a year ago and I do little else but work. Not much of a chance to meet other people so I guess you could say I'm pretty lonely here which doesn't help curb the desire to drink. Of course I have my daughter, but I feel pretty out of it socially and just plain boring. All in all I don't think I have any real or justified reasons to be drinking as much as I do. It's just this habit I keep repeating that's self destructive and pointless. I honestly can't tell why I dislike myself so much - but I really must to continue to do this ridiculous shit to myself?!?

Everyone has been so positive and savon19 your email message was brilliant. It's strange because I do a lot of looking in the rear view mirror when driving and my friend recently said - if you don't stop looking where you've been you're not going to see where you're going! Story of my life right now as I'm either living in a past I can't change or hoping for a future I don't believe I can achieve. Focusing just on today is probably the only way through this.

Have a lot of thinking to do!