Husband wants divorce

[MissMerlot]

Husband wants divorce

Grace,it saddens me so much to read these posts although most of them ring true.
The last thing you want to hear right now is the 'love of your life' is cruel & selfish...
But love, it seems he is.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

annie
xx

[Guest]

Husband wants divorce

I thank you all so much for your input.

It does help, just to know I have caring people reading my posts and responding.

It is true, I was raised, you put up with anything to make the marriage work.
I was in a 28 year marriage, just after turning 17, abusive husband. Took me that many years to get out of it. Afterwards was single many years. Just couldn't move on. I got took in divorces, men threatened me to not ask for anything or use a lawyer. I didn't.

Kids are raised,very successful marriages. My dreams came true on that point.

This I considered my last chance at love and marriage. So many promises. He begged me to marry him.

I can't kick him out, this has been his apt for 30 years. I can't afford the rent, I don't make that much. Most of my things have been in storage in my home state for years. Been very expensive to keep them there. Has been hard to maintain that.

He is my webmaster for an on-line business. It makes enough just to pay my expenses. I have hopes of it getting better, but this every few months, his going crazy on me makes it very hard to give my all to it. I become a basket case.

My daughter's husband had a heart attack at 34, they has huge medical bills, 3 kids. They can't afford to help me.

He has no children, wants nothing to do with mine. We were supposed to move into a home, never happened. We were supposed to move closer to my children. Did not happen.

I won't bore you all with anymore of these facts.

But, I would move on, struggle to survive, if he'd make arrangements for this. He won't. It's just tirades about his feelings. He won't discuss anything other than putting me down. I believe he would disappear, quit his job, leave me holding the debts of his if I tried to stand up.

I agree he maybe doesn't know how to love. I did hear about this early in our marriage from women friends of his. But of course we were already married, I asked why didn't you tell me this before? They said we thought you could change him. I just hang on.

It probably would be a relief to have it over. I don't want that, but could deal with it if I have too. I spoiled him, by letting him do this to me over and over. Trying harder on my part to be all he wanted. Not making him accountable for his actions.

Too much of this to go into here. I do write journals to try and deal with this all.
I think the loneliness is the worst.

Thanks again. Please believe I do take your opinions to heart and try to build my belief life should not be this hard.

Thank you again!

[Angelcakes]

Husband wants divorce

He wants to be in a Tittie Bar or Gay Bar?? God those places are so empty - I feel sorry for him, he sounds really lost. And Grace, that really does mean he can't give you answers if he doesn't know them himself.
Make plans to move on Grace, you've got a lot of living to do.

xo

[brightlite]

Husband wants divorce

Grace the lonliness is not the worst! Using you, belittling you, cheating on you, twisting your emotions, using you for a doormat.....those are the Worst! Lonliness would be a blessed relief! You will find yourself in your lonliness....do it Grace...just do it!!!

[Guest]

Husband wants divorce

Thanks to all!

[Pan]

Husband wants divorce

Saving Grace;736128 wrote: I thank you all so much for your input.

It does help, just to know I have caring people reading my posts and responding.

It is true, I was raised, you put up with anything to make the marriage work.
I was in a 28 year marriage, just after turning 17, abusive husband. Took me that many years to get out of it. Afterwards was single many years. Just couldn't move on. I got took in divorces, men threatened me to not ask for anything or use a lawyer. I didn't.

Kids are raised,very successful marriages. My dreams came true on that point.

This I considered my last chance at love and marriage. So many promises. He begged me to marry him.

I can't kick him out, this has been his apt for 30 years. I can't afford the rent, I don't make that much. Most of my things have been in storage in my home state for years. Been very expensive to keep them there. Has been hard to maintain that.

He is my webmaster for an on-line business. It makes enough just to pay my expenses. I have hopes of it getting better, but this every few months, his going crazy on me makes it very hard to give my all to it. I become a basket case.

My daughter's husband had a heart attack at 34, they has huge medical bills, 3 kids. They can't afford to help me.

He has no children, wants nothing to do with mine. We were supposed to move into a home, never happened. We were supposed to move closer to my children. Did not happen.

I won't bore you all with anymore of these facts.

But, I would move on, struggle to survive, if he'd make arrangements for this. He won't. It's just tirades about his feelings. He won't discuss anything other than putting me down. I believe he would disappear, quit his job, leave me holding the debts of his if I tried to stand up.

I agree he maybe doesn't know how to love. I did hear about this early in our marriage from women friends of his. But of course we were already married, I asked why didn't you tell me this before? They said we thought you could change him. I just hang on.

It probably would be a relief to have it over. I don't want that, but could deal with it if I have too. I spoiled him, by letting him do this to me over and over. Trying harder on my part to be all he wanted. Not making him accountable for his actions.

Too much of this to go into here. I do write journals to try and deal with this all.
I think the loneliness is the worst.

Thanks again. Please believe I do take your opinions to heart and try to build my belief life should not be this hard.

Thank you again!

Grace, I noticed you lost your original long post. Just a tip - write it in Word or any other word processing program and cut and paste it into MWO. MWO times out.

Your story rings a bell with me. You cannot change ANYONE Grace. Also, DO NOT let yourself be fooled by any threats he has made as to your standing in life without HIM.

A friend of mine was abused and threatened if she left, for years, by her husband - a QC - and felt completely lost as what to do. Until she opened up to her friends and found what a support base she had. She also was told she would lose everything, including her kids, by her husband.

Guess what! Didn't happen! She won and has her kids and the house. She is not monetry rich, but has assets.

Too many things you have said to go into, but none that can't be fixed. You are giving your husband all the power.

I know you know what to do. You are not stupid. You are scared. Understandable. Just do it. He is a toxic man.

[ChickenNumber3]

Husband wants divorce

Good advise !
Chook

[1967]

Husband wants divorce

Yes, excellent advice Panicked!

[greeneyes]

Husband wants divorce

Early on when my husband left me, I wailed to cinders. She calmly said you are in a toxic relationship that is doing you harm. Get out of it. As of yesterday, I am no longer married to him. He says he loves me more than he ever has. I have my assets, none of his debts and I have the little house so I have a roof over my head. And little doggie.

Most importantly I have my integrity and my self esteem.

[brightlite]

Husband wants divorce

greeneyes;737846 wrote: Early on when my husband left me, I wailed to cinders. She calmly said you are in a toxic relationship that is doing you harm. Get out of it. As of yesterday, I am no longer married to him. He says he loves me more than he ever has. I have my assets, none of his debts and I have the little house so I have a roof over my head. And little doggie.

Most importantly I have my integrity and my self esteem.

Ohhh Greenie,

It sounds perfect. So happy for you!

[Guest]

Husband wants divorce

Greenie wow, I wish you all the best!
I wrote a long post again and lost it. I just thank you all.

[IAD]

Husband wants divorce

Saving .....get over the shock, ok. Let's fiquire how your going to live the rest of your life ! Are you in the US or somewhere else !?! If in the US get a lawyer........you want at least 1/2 ....If in UK or somewhere else.. check out the legal system. You have to think about yourself..........get away from your sorrow. You need to find some stabilaty for the rest of your life......IAD

[ilovejafa]

Husband wants divorce

Angelcakes;735618 wrote: :l Grace, wouldn't it be nice if you could off load a little of the pain. I'm sorry I can't carry some for you for a bit.
Your husband doesn't sound like a very respectable man.
As Greenie said...maybe it's a new life to begin.

xo

So well said angel.
There is a bright light on the horizion for you Grace.
Now, the way is forward, towards a better future, a better life, where you can respect yourself and be loved by honorable people.
This could well be an amazing turning point in your life Grace.

I have read the last 8 pages with dismay.
My divorce was 10 years ago, and still, daily I have negative thoughts. So I read with much interest.
The CD's from this site help tremendously, especially the Clearing one.

I was trying to 'imagine' your 60 year old man in the music and rock 'n roll scene, and the visualization is quite funny. He must look very silly, and perhaps Grace, you can move on, and begin something so afresh and exciting.
There are so many options for you, and I can see you walking along a beach, happy ... while your ex is in a crowded smoke filled bar with nobody really.

Can I chat with you, because I would like to send you my copy of the Clearing CD to get you on the right path. :h

Much love
Jafa

[Guest]

Husband wants divorce

I know he is in the process of hiding it all, hey we never seemed to have a real marriage, as I knew in the past. He resents anything connected with me.
I have no health insurance, he does. I have no access to anything he has.
I feel he has friends telling him how to hide everything. I know he makes quite a bit of money and cash, playing music. He has a daytime job paying very well. But I will never see it.
I am getting stronger. He is now doing, he forget how he acted last week thing. He is gone all day on his days off from day job and gone till late at night on his music things. So I have nothing.
Yes, I am in the USA but I have no money, have had a horrible month with my business, so just struggling to get by. He is so into being single, knows the ins and outs. I have no hope of any money.
I just want out now. I know how fake he is being at he moment, he is putting me down constantly but at the same time, giving me a kiss goodbye as he leaves.
Doesn't work anymore. He eats the meals I cook for him, hey when mad, he eats out every meal. I just am holding on till I can figure out what to do.
I am feeling stronger, but know he has a plan.
No, I checked into lawyers and private detectives. All want money up front. I don't have that.

[Guest]

Husband wants divorce

Not rock and roll , very respected musician in Country Music. He is so very talented, has a long career he lived, with the name stars. He lived it!