What's it going to take?

[Guest]

I feel so incredibly hopeless. Today was going to be the day...was going to quit...was at least trying 7 days without alcohol..and was hoping for 30. Last night I went to bed at 8 PM...slept on and off until 4:30 today...I think I use sleep as a drug sometimes. But the thought of not having a drink was too much. Had to catch the liquor store...and was so relieved when I had those first few drinks. I'm scared that I won't find my way out...that such a huge part of me doesn't want to.

[startingover]

What's it going to take?

Hi Schaefer,
First of all, its a fantastic thing that you have admitted you need help (thats often one of the hardest steps) Now its time to work on a bit of motivation.
I think you will find your way out because you have made a start looking.
Have you read the Toolbox thread? That might give you some ideas to begin putting a plan together.
Also, check out the rain in my heart doco. All these things keep me motivated to stay off it plus writing down exactly WHY I want to give up and also what I want my sober life to look like.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ary-37717.html

[AAthlete]

What's it going to take?

Schaefer, if I had a nickle for every time that happened to me, I'd be up to my eyeballs in them.

Change is hard, no doubt about it - but it can happen. Question, did you have a plan laid out, and were you following it? Not only not drinking, but what you were going to do if and when the urge hit you? When I was still out there, I always found that it was easy to lie to myself that I could drink for just one more day, that I would stop tomorrow. I had to start following a plan of action and holding myself accountable before I made any meaningful progress.

So, don't be too hard on yourself, put together a plan, and then follow through on it. As Starting says, you need to keep yourself motivated and want sobriety more than anything else.

Best of luck to you

[work in progress]

What's it going to take?

Schaffer, you said that you sleep as a "drug" and "the thought of not having a drink was too much too bear". I think that's the mindset most of us have, especially when we start out. We feel like we are deprived when we can't drink instead of looking at things in the exact opposite. We have freedom, not deprivation, not true relief when we don't drink.

If we feel like we are missing something by not drinking we will be miserable and feel even more like drinking, going back to the only thing we know that can give us some kind of relief.
But if we can switch our mindset and look at not drinking as an opportunity for a new start and approach the idea with a positive frame of mind and not with dread, maybe we can start to beat this.

Lately, I've been trying not to weigh positive vs. the negatives of drinking. I'm trying to erase all of the benefits of alcohol. I find that if I think alcohol has even one benefit, I will use that benefit as an excuse. It's the mind game that has made a difference for me lately. For me at least, I find the true physical part of the addiction is the small part, it's all in my mind and my attitude.

[mya]

What's it going to take?

Schaf just like you I thought it would be the day, believe it or not I went AF yesterday but like you after the first few drinks I feel in control I just wish I could get a hold of this demon. Let me know and we can go 7 days and then 30

[1967]

What's it going to take?

work in progress;739994 wrote: Schaffer, you said that you sleep as a "drug" and "the thought of not having a drink was too much too bear". I think that's the mindset most of us have, especially when we start out. We feel like we are deprived when we can't drink instead of looking at things in the exact opposite. We have freedom, not deprivation, not true relief when we don't drink.

If we feel like we are missing something by not drinking we will be miserable and feel even more like drinking, going back to the only thing we know that can give us some kind of relief.
But if we can switch our mindset and look at not drinking as an opportunity for a new start and approach the idea with a positive frame of mind and not with dread, maybe we can start to beat this.

Lately, I've been trying not to weigh positive vs. the negatives of drinking. I'm trying to erase all of the benefits of alcohol. I find that if I think alcohol has even one benefit, I will use that benefit as an excuse. It's the mind game that has made a difference for me lately. For me at least, I find the true physical part of the addiction is the small part, it's all in my mind and my attitude.

you hit the nail on the head!
this is very true for me too.
and the planning is everything.
at this stage i am avoiding places i know i will want to drink.
i live on a tiny island, how long this plan will be viable is questionable.
i am going to have to come up with a stage two for the stage one plan which is working well so far.. but it's only been 10 days.
when i get to 30 days i will have to re-evaluate. i don't want to start counting from one AGAIN.
so, my advice to you and plan, plan, plan!
you can make this happen but you gotta plan it carefully.

[shirazgirl]

What's it going to take?

Hi Schaef,
I find that the worst thing I can do is sleep to much. I will admit, I did that initially. After dragging my ass out of bed in a day or two I started to do little things, like going to the book store and ordering a mocha cappuccino and sip and read (mostly books about alcoholism). I than started to go to the gym, which was a lifesaver for me as it truly made me feel good. It seemed counter productive to ruin that feeling of health w/ an unhealthy drink. It does have to be cut into small increments, like tell yourself you will have one sober day and then re-evaluate the next. To think you can never drink again is to much emotion and usually to protect ourselves, we turn the "off" switch on. Get around, make food, rent a movie you haven't seen, browse the internet for things that interest you. Finally, return here for the support that you need to make a better decision for tomorrow.

[akgirl]

What's it going to take?

Endurance..I think that is the key. We must endure the bad to get to the good. Like giving birth. Birth to a new life.

:l and strength
Ak

[Chocolate Mousse]

What's it going to take?

Hi Schaefer28, my heart went out to you when I read your post. This is my first thread (is that what you call it?) here. I just joined and wanted to say something! You are probably feeling really low as you have let your own standards down, no one elses. I know the feeling only too well. I am going to try a 30 day af, I know I should as my health is at risk. Am aiming for the first week in November so any tips or advice, encouragement would be much appreciated. Love and prayers..

[Guest]

What's it going to take?

Many Thanks

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice! Welcome Chocolate Mousse, this is such an awesome place for support and encouragement. I wish you the best with your 30 day AF...all I can say is keep reaching out and never give up!!:welcome:

[brightlite]

What's it going to take?

Keep trying Schaefer, never quit quitting!

Chocolate Mousse welcome and I love the name, in fact I think I'll make some chocolate mousse this weekend. I know...when I'm not craving AL, I'm craving chocolate. Anyway good luck on your 30 days. I'm also going to give it the 30 day try starting in November. Let's call it "Just say NOvember"....LOL, Schaefer join in with us.

[Guest]

What's it going to take?

Thanks brightlite! I love "Just say NOvember"!! I would love to join you...but part of me knows I say that because it is still days away...but you never know I guess. I wish you much strength...best of luck to you...so wonderful you are taking that step!:goodjob:

[Emmy]

What's it going to take?

Maybe I'll stretch OctSOBER into NOvember ...:H Who wants to join me ??:h

[Guest]

What's it going to take?

OctSOBER is also awesome! How are you doing?

[Emmy]

What's it going to take?

I'm doing OK Schaefer ... I'm having a hard time getting into the chat room , I can't get into DrinkTracker either :upset: It may be the laptop.. I'll try to to do over the weekend from the desktop.. Hope ur doing ok :h Em