I am so useless

[tawnywitch]

I was doing so well, didnt feel the need to drink everynight, managed just to drink a normal amount once or twice a week, then slipped Fri, Sat Sun, Mon, all drinking more each night agaian, as well as script drugs and sleeping pill's! why can't I see what I am doing, just don't know what to do next, still too scared to try the Baclofen in my bag, kudzo doesnt work, I need a big kick up the backside, I know what to do , just keep finding reasons not to stop today, help!!

[Zeppie2]

I am so useless

right then tawny bend over

[Zeppie2]

I am so useless

Seriously though, you have mentioned you know how to do it and you sound like you are nearly ready to give it a try, jump onto a thread where there are a few of you in the same boat and then you can all support each other, taking the pressure off trying to go it alone.

Good luck Tawny, keep trying, you can do it

[irish eyes]

I am so useless

tawnywitch;739846 wrote: I was doing so well, didnt feel the need to drink everynight, managed just to drink a normal amount once or twice a week, then slipped Fri, Sat Sun, Mon, all drinking more each night agaian, as well as script drugs and sleeping pill's! why can't I see what I am doing, just don't know what to do next, still too scared to try the Baclofen in my bag, kudzo doesnt work, I need a big kick up the backside, I know what to do , just keep finding reasons not to stop today, help!!

Tawney, you can do it as you have already done it you just had a slip. You dont mind taking script drugs and sleeping pills, wondering what is scaring you about the Baclofen.......

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

the fact that it is for serious problems like multiple sclerosis, I worry it will make me feel bad, silly I expect but can't shake it.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

I am so useless

Tawny you are not useless, that is obvious by your posts plus the fact that you are here trying. One day it will click and all fall into place. I dont know very much about meds but it seems to me that many people here swear by Baclofen. I do know if I needed it I would certainly give it a try.
Keep safe
KTAB

[hippie37]

I am so useless

You dont mind taking script drugs and sleeping pills, wondering what is scaring you about the Baclofen.......

My sentiments too Irish.

Tawny when I first started taking Antabuse, I have to admit, I was very nervous about taking it. My reasons where that I was scared about the possible side effects and maybe it may do more harm than good in the long run to my liver because of it. The truth of the matter was I wasn't nervous at all about the side effects, that was just my mind telling me 'porkies'. I was actually scared because it actually meant I couldn't physically drink because of the tablets.

I wonder whether the same thing might me going on for you with the Baclofen and you're not recognising, as I did back then, the real reasons you're not taking them. It's only natural to feel this way tawny if you are. Don't dismiss it, accept it and reach out for help from those that care. Fear ruled my life for so long, even taking Antabuse meant I was still living in fear of having a drink because of the serious side effects it would have if I did. Fear kept me drinking and Fear kept me non-drinking whilst on them. If you accept that fear is a natural emotion to have at times, then you will have a much easier time dealing with it when it does arise. Facing our fears is part of living life on life's terms. I noticed a thread this morning where Limers was 'nervous' about an upcoming exam. There is always going to be situations in life that we are fearful of because we feel we may not live up to our own or others' expectations of us. I think it's good that Limers is maybe nervous because to me it reveals she is being human and real and not someone who is masking how she really feels! I've got a dozen of so masks in my own drawer that I can still wear at times but that is a process of change I deal with through my own recovery.

The more I hid from my true feelings the more frustrated and useless I felt because of it. Don't beat yourself up over this tawny. No one in my eyes who is trying to deal with their addiction is useless. Far from it. It takes great courage to face your addiction but you have to put in the work too.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[My New Beginning]

I am so useless

Hi Tawny
I was doing pretty good myself and then big slip up on Sunday!! UGH..it's frustrating..I know, for me that it was because I didn't have a plan and I didn't take things slowly. Bought a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing!! I'm going to keep trying and never giving up though becaus I know that eventually drinking alcohol everyday will kill me. My mother died from it 12 yeas ago at the age of 68. I'm not going to follow. So, pull yourself up and get going. Best to you, Tawny.

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

thank's all, don't know what else to say really, just going thru a down patch which isnt really like me, I'm usually the eternal optimist,

[rubywillow]

I am so useless

Hips hit the nail on the head, Tawny. You have to be mentally ready to make this commitment, and that's not a small thing. AL has been our be all, there all, for so long. We are afraid of life without it. But there IS a better life. Yes, it feels like we're missing an arm for a while, but that's what happens with any change. And this change is GOOD!

[IAD]

I am so useless

Tawny.......You have to search your soul. Do you need to abstain from drinking.......moderating not going to work for you ? Only you know that answer......Good Luck. IAD

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

i hate the idea of never dinking again, i actually enjoy my wine and i love the buzz it gives me, plus it helps me with life, i have always liked to use something to help me feel relaxed, im a very tense person, my mother started me off on sedatives when i was a baby i didnt sleep appaently, more like to keep me quiet, i was late mistake for her, then when my parents got divorced and i waqs 15 i started on valium and when the dr stopped giving them to me, i found them on the underground drugs scene, i guess i have used props all my life and its scary to think of life without them.

[propartychief]

I am so useless

Tawny,
You ARE NOT usless!!!
You can Do this !
You will Do this !
You know where I was when I came back to MWO.
If I can you can.
Give the Bac. a try.
I'm using Campral and the supps. and the have helped me tons.
I have 2 weeks and not having any real cravings.
You are stronger than you think !!!!

Here is a quote that I stole from Sunbird that I read everyday and it puts me in my place each time I visit it. (Sorry about the theft Sunbird)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
Nelson Mandela
MUCH LOVE and PEACE to you !!!!

Bob :h:h

[keeta]

I am so useless

You are NOT useless tawny.

I guess to some degree I am lucky (HA!) that my drinking escalated to a point that it was not enjoyable any longer. I drank specifically to numb, check out, feel nothing, pass out, black out. No fun involved.
Did I still want it? YES! Did the thought of never drinking again fill me with enough fear I wanted to puke on my shoes? YES!

Quitting is hard. Getting rid of the only coping mechanism I had was so indescribably horrible to think about I never thought I could get through it.

I did. You can too.

Never give up, you are worth it.:l

Whatever you are seeking to do...mods or AF, you CAN do it. Keep close, post for support, check out the tool box thread in Monthly Abs section, and just never ever give up!!!:l

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

again thanks, i dont want to give up, giving up if you see what I mean,I am just feeling really down at the moment, dont know why, and the thought of not having my prop is so scary,