I am so useless

[WitchyTrix]

I am so useless

Hello Tawny!

Sorry you're having a rough time luvvie. I was down the other day and thinking the 'oh f***k it' thoughts, but it turned out that my subconscious turned out to be more afraid of having a drink than it was of doing without.

I looked back at all the negative things for me about drinking (that took a while I can tell you!) and then turned to all the things that could help me carry on without.

A bit of 'hedgwitchery' helped a lot I started making plans for Samhain etc. and researching herbal remedies for all my various afflictions :H

Hang on in there Tawny, like the L'Oreal advert .... BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT!

Love Trix XXX

[keeta]

I am so useless

I do understand tawnywitch. You are correct, it is very scary to give up what you call your prop.
I am also sorry you are feeling so down. It can definately make it that much more difficult.

Hang in there! We are all here for you.

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

you are right Trix, I do hane Samhain to look forward to, will start to plan it today,buy some nice calming incense,lot's of love,

[betty boop]

I am so useless

Tawny, lots of people are moderating successfully with baclofen, i've only been taking it a week and the only side effects are feeling really relaxed and sleeping well.

Taking the bac doesn't mean that you can never drink again, it just is possible that it might make you never want to!!!! How good is that!!!!

Go ahead and try it Tawny .... or let me buy it off you lol !!!

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[redhibiscus]

I am so useless

Hey Tawny,
You are being really hard on yourself, and part of that is the depression after using depressants for four days: alcohol and sleeping pills. Of course you will feel depressed. But on the bright side, in my opinion you have made progress because you are not the same. You have had time where you have not been out of control and you are being honest about your use and questioning yourself. You want something better and you are working towards it. Are you perfect yet? No. Are you progressing on this journey? Yes.

Once participating on this site, drinking is no longer as much fun, at least for me. I liken it to spitting in my soup. I may still eat it, but it is ruined for me. I also did better and then had lost weekends, but I also have had months of being AF. To me, that is progress and I encourage you to try again. Take care.

[shirazgirl]

I am so useless

Hi Tawny,
I understand the overwhelming feeling of thinking you can "never" drink again. So don't think that. Make very small, realistic goals for yourself. Once you reach that, whatever it might be, see if you can set another goal for yourself. Maybe up the stakes if you see fit, then see if you can reach that. Wine is such a good buzz. I understand what you meant about the relaxing part. The consequence for that short buzz finally outweighted the negative. Feeling like crap all day, looking like five miles of bad pavement, going to work and giving my clients a half assed day, drunk dialing, waking up to my husband in a different room because I was rude to him. I realized I was being selfish. That besides hurting me, I was hurting other people that trusted me. Don't let yourself down. You are worth the effort. Lean on us, as you can tell, we have all been in the same position, or worse than you. If you didn't want to help yourelf, you wouldn't be here in the 1st place.......Now pick yourself up and dust of... Off you go!

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

thanks

[Emmy]

I am so useless

Tawney .. I'm scared too , the thought of never having another glass of wine seems very frightening to me , I get what your saying .. Take baby steps , promise yourself 4 days AF , then 7 days .. I'm working on 30 days right now and I haven't a clue what I am going to do , I change my mind daily , one thing I do know is , I think I'm more afraid of having that glass , I'm afraid it will lead to another and I LIKE THE WAY I FEEL TODAY !:h
You can DO THIS !! You have so much support on MWO , Keep reading our posts and posting your thoughts , holding yourseld accountable to US makes it harder to pour that glass of wine ! :l Em

[shirazgirl]

I am so useless

Remember Tawny, ALL of us who are trying to be AF are only one drink away from day one again. Keep trying. It will come to you.

[RedThread12]

I am so useless

Drunk with Thinking

HI Tawney - You asked for a kick in the backside, so I guess I have to oblige.:b&d: (this is a whip, and I would NEVER do that, but you get the picture!)


TAKE THE FREAKIN' BACLOFEN!!!

It doesn't mean ANYTHING except that you MAY get an opportunity to make a choice about how much you drink. No one has died from it in the 30-40 years it has been on the market. However, countless numbers have fallen to booze and pill addiction in those decades . . . hundreds of thousands? millions? more????

What's the issue here? A few side effects and always the option to stop on the one hand. Institutions, insanity and death on the other hand.

There. Consider yourself lovingly kicked and I absolutely believe and know that you can find your way out.

[Sarasmiles]

I am so useless

Hey Tawny,
Just wanted to add another "YOU'RE NOT USELESS!" message to this thread. You're witty and wonderful, and we're all in this together.

I too am scared by the thought of never drinking again. I had a brief period of almost accepting the idea, when I posted about wanting to let go of "moderation". Now I'm back to longing to be able to drink moderately...It's so hard to let go of the comfort of wine, even though I know it ultimately brings more pain than comfort. Tonight I feel pretty useless myself, having had four glasses. I regret it. But tomorrow is another day. Let's just make it through tomorrow without a drink. Okay?

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

gave in last night finished off my bottle then went back downstairs and finished off husbands red as well, he went to get a glass later and got cross , now it's morning, feeling rough again as usual, no Al in house so today is day 1 again, will take the Baclofen today, thank's for the support, this is obviously not going to a aquick fix deal, hope you all ahve a good day, love and hug's Tawnywitch.

[tawnywitch]

I am so useless

ok had enough feeling sorry for myself, had a new haircut, and taken my first Bac, 1/4 tab, still frightened at what it will do, goodness know's why when I think what I'v taken in the past, any way no more booze, lot's of excercise and lot's of supp's,well maybe not the excercise!! thank's for the support, I am on the up again.

[adi]

I am so useless

I feel useless too, I had given up for 2 weeks before I did it again.
The important thing is that you, I and everyone else here wants to give up and make mistakes but we are right behind you. I hope to be AF tonight. We can do it.

Treat yourself to something tonight.

[ladyjan]

I am so useless

bit the bullet...at last ;-)

Hi Tawny,

Nice one at last you bit the bullet.. don't worry it won't bite you back..! :goodjob:

don't get paranoid and be looking & waiting for bad effects..

just chillout, RELAX and enjoy the start of good effects, it will make you bit dozy, but go with the flow and try and ease off on the sleep tabs ,should find you don't need them or at least not as much.

keep it up & keep us posted how you?re feeling.

ladyjan