I feel useless and want to die

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

Sorry friends. I was cut off the internet. I don't know how long I willl have a connection today. I'm acutally surprised I do have a connection. Hubby has left me - it's been a shocking few days, but at least now I don't have him in my face. I still feel like shit and just don't know how I am going to survive. Doggies need vet treatment and until I get social security payments, I don't have any money. I do have some biscuits, cheese and a packet of ham.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

The internet connection is his connection, by the way.

[UrbanFool]

I feel useless and want to die

How long do you have to wait for SS payments?

Do you have somewhere you can go to get food? We have some that are open daily for a hot meal, and we also have Loaves & Fishes which hands out a bag of groceries on Saturdays.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

Do not know to all questions. I have to phone social security today. I really don't have the energy to do anything.

[UrbanFool]

I feel useless and want to die

You need to line up some food ASAP. Get on the internet or check out the phone book. You need to force yourself to do some stuff. Plus, you've got your furbabies counting on you.

Can you tell us what happened? Also, I'm in the chatroom if you'd like to chat.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

I'm checking things out now. I'm just feeling so weak. Husband walked out after giving me a lot of grief for a couple of days. He has cancelled my access to our money. I don't know where he is at present because I refused to hand over the car. I suspect he is in transit to our other house somehow or is already there. I don't know why I still have internet access because he's stopped everything else.

[UrbanFool]

I feel useless and want to die

Are you AF? (just curious, not judgmental)

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

Not today. There's alcohol in the house so I'm drinking it. I'll get back to AF. I don't even like drinking anymore. I just want to be numb.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

And how crazy is it drinking at 8am?

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

I just looked in the mirror. I swear I've aged 10 years in 2 days.

[UrbanFool]

I feel useless and want to die

Maybe you need to start with a hot shower!

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

No energy. I need to phone Social Security. I think they open in five minutes.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

I'm also using the time I have on the internet to work out property settlement. I don't know when I will get cut off the net. I expect when my husband connects to his computer. Then I won't have access again.

[UrbanFool]

I feel useless and want to die

I hope that works out. It's frustrating to have to wait for something when you don't know when it's coming. That uses a lot of energy by itself.

Do you have a Paypal account or some way of accessing your bank or credit card?

I'm not sure what kind of recourse you have in Australia for stopping him from doing these things.

[Pan]

I feel useless and want to die

Everything except this house and two cars is in his name. I'm stuffed. Zenstyle gave me some very good advice last time he did this. I should have listened. STUPID STUPID STUPID!

I have to disconnect from the net now to phone Social Security. I don't know if I will be able to get logged on again.