Hey everyone, I have posted in the past and lurked for a long time, but I am back. I feel like I am in the darkest place of my life and the only time I don’t feel that way is when I am drunk. So begins the endless, ugly spiral that is my life right now. I left my husband earlier this year and we tried to reconcile, but it still didn’t work. When I have him, I don’t want him. When I don’t have him, I want him back. Especially since he is now dating someone. It’s killing me, but I was the one who ended the relationship so now I have that to deal with it.
My teenage daughter is giving me so much trouble right now, I don’t know what to do with her. You should see the way she looks at me. It’s a combination of disgust and hate. I grounded her over the Christmas vacation for stealing my credit card and you’d think I had cut off her right arm. She’s also skipped school, snuck out at night, treats her Dad and I horribly, and the list goes on. She might even be smoking pot. We started counseling yesterday, hopefully that will help. At the end of the session the therapist asked my soon to be ex and I if we had any addiction issues. I fessed up even though I didn’t want to. She said “I know, your daughter told me”. Great, so are all my daughter’s issues due to my drinking? I would like to know. She sure would like to blame me for everything. She won’t take responsibility for a damn thing.
I have lots of friends and family who care, but no one knows the level I drink. I can’t afford the one–on-one treatment options here and the therapist recommended I attend AA-everyday to start!! I don’t think so! So I got my Naltrexone and started 3 days ago. Last night I stopped at a point where I usually would not have. I was drunk, but I could have gotten a lot worse. I just didn’t have any desire to put that bottle to my lips. I hope this is working. My drinking is causing major weight gain and depression and both my kids see it in me. I hate myself so much right now.
I certainly don’t want any sympathy, but any advice or thoughts are appreciated. Thank you all for coming here and supporting each other. It’s a great place for us to be!!!
My teenage daughter is giving me so much trouble right now, I don’t know what to do with her. You should see the way she looks at me. It’s a combination of disgust and hate. I grounded her over the Christmas vacation for stealing my credit card and you’d think I had cut off her right arm. She’s also skipped school, snuck out at night, treats her Dad and I horribly, and the list goes on. She might even be smoking pot. We started counseling yesterday, hopefully that will help. At the end of the session the therapist asked my soon to be ex and I if we had any addiction issues. I fessed up even though I didn’t want to. She said “I know, your daughter told me”. Great, so are all my daughter’s issues due to my drinking? I would like to know. She sure would like to blame me for everything. She won’t take responsibility for a damn thing.
I have lots of friends and family who care, but no one knows the level I drink. I can’t afford the one–on-one treatment options here and the therapist recommended I attend AA-everyday to start!! I don’t think so! So I got my Naltrexone and started 3 days ago. Last night I stopped at a point where I usually would not have. I was drunk, but I could have gotten a lot worse. I just didn’t have any desire to put that bottle to my lips. I hope this is working. My drinking is causing major weight gain and depression and both my kids see it in me. I hate myself so much right now.
I certainly don’t want any sympathy, but any advice or thoughts are appreciated. Thank you all for coming here and supporting each other. It’s a great place for us to be!!!
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