I'm desperate!

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not very good at expressing my innermost feelings. The following clip by David Sylvian does a much better job:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7XDVs0PI0E[/video]]YouTube - David Sylvian - Let the happiness in

V.

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

Hello MWO friends!

I'm feeling very alone. Your continued support is much required. I need to feel wanted and loved.

Please help me!

V. :upset:

[craving]

I'm desperate!

Virgil you are not alone!!!
You have here a lot of lovely people that really care about you!

[craving]

I'm desperate!

nobody else interested in showing their support ? :upset::upset:

[jessie]

I'm desperate!

:lHi Virgil,
I'm also very alone and scared. So we are actually not alone then/. Please PM me, we can support each other.

[jessie]

I'm desperate!

Hi all, I slipped up again. On the evening of the 9th day AF and then had a 3 day binge. I'm desperate and scared and very anxious/depressed. I can't take the stress anymore. I need meds but can't get it here. Spesifically Antabuse. Can anybody help me by sending me some.

[reneesmiles]

I'm desperate!

Hi Virgil

One of the things I have come to understand by being in a non-traditional "Health Program," is that we have an impulse control issue that manifests itself in alcohol abuse.

I have had panic disorder for as long as I can remember and when one feels anxious they will do ANYTHING to make that feeling go away. It is the worst feeling in the world. Worse for me than depression.

If you would like to PM me, I would be interested to know what medications you are on. I was actually mis-diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (it is a little deeper than that)... it is not usually diagnosed because it is not in the DSM-IV which psychiatrists use to make diagnosis'.

New research is coming out about different co-occuring (sp?) disorders. PM me if you want to talk about it.

Blessings,
Renee

[eight days a week]

I'm desperate!

Virgil;816525 wrote: I've come to the conclusion that I'm not very good at expressing my innermost feelings. The following clip by David Sylvian does a much better job:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7XDVs0PI0E[/video]]YouTube - David Sylvian - Let the happiness in

V.
Our dear V, that is such a lovely, tender song. It says so much about you, I think, that you haven't bombarded us with your worst thoughts, but have let such a sad, deep, and yet yearning song speak for you.

I've known you on public forums for quite a while now, and know it's completely unlike you to post a thread saying 'I'm desperate'. I know just how bad things must have got for you to do so. You've struggled with an awful lot for such a long time now, and yet you've never let on just how hard things are, so I see this thread as a very real and totally heartfelt cry for help, in your own understated way. Just like the song.

I hope others will see the thread title, and see past your apparently calm words, and realise that here is a guy who might not open up completely, or perhaps even very much, for the time being. I'm a bit like that myself. Again, the thread title says it all. And I'd say to everyone who reads this: no matter how calm and reasoned Virgil appears to be from his posts, no-one would post such a thread unless they really did feel absolutely desperate.

My friend, please do share what you can here. Even if it's more of that beautiful but sad music that can help us to understand how you're feeling a bit better.

craving;816842 wrote: Virgil you are not alone!!!
You have here a lot of lovely people that really care about you!
Absolutely!!

jessie;818050 wrote: :lHi Virgil,
I'm also very alone and scared. So we are actually not alone then/. Please PM me, we can support each other.

jessie;818053 wrote: Hi all, I slipped up again. On the evening of the 9th day AF and then had a 3 day binge. I'm desperate and scared and very anxious/depressed. I can't take the stress anymore. I need meds but can't get it here. Spesifically Antabuse. Can anybody help me by sending me some.

Jessie, please don't beat yourself up. We didn't get into this scrape overnight, and we won't get out of it overnight either, but we can slowly move in the right direction, and however slowly it takes as long as we're going that way then we're winning Have you ever considered Nal or Baclofen? There's so much information here on both, do look into it. And you're in South Africa? I'm sorry I can't help with Antabuse, but I know some online pharmacies that are trustworthy and should ship to you there.

Stay strong!

Renee I have Panic Disorder / Generalised Anxiety Disorder too, and I relate to what you wrote so much. I really hope to read more of your posts and look forward to us all getting out of this, and I'm sure we can with the right approach. All the best to you

[Gold]

I'm desperate!

Hello Virgil,

I hope you are feeling better and we will hear from you soon.

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

jessie;818050 wrote: :lHi Virgil,
I'm also very alone and scared. So we are actually not alone then/. Please PM me, we can support each other.

jessie,

Thank you for your reply.

I will PM you.

V.

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

reneesmiles;818065 wrote: One of the things I have come to understand by being in a non-traditional "Health Program," is that we have an impulse control issue that manifests itself in alcohol abuse.

I have had panic disorder for as long as I can remember and when one feels anxious they will do ANYTHING to make that feeling go away. It is the worst feeling in the world. Worse for me than depression.

If you would like to PM me, I would be interested to know what medications you are on. I was actually mis-diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (it is a little deeper than that)... it is not usually diagnosed because it is not in the DSM-IV which psychiatrists use to make diagnosis'.

New research is coming out about different co-occuring (sp?) disorders. PM me if you want to talk about it.

Blessings,
Renee

Renee,

Many thanks for your reply.

I will PM you.

V.

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

My good friend 8,

Thank you for your reply.

You have made some very astute observations about me. I wear a mask of outer calm but, remove that mask and underneath is a seriously tormented soul. The trouble is that I've been wearing this mask for so many years that sometimes I fool even myself into identifying with it. One of the psychiatrists that I used to see a few years ago listened to me talk for a while and then said - anyone could be excused for thinking that I was telling a story about someone else. It's as if I don't want to own up to being that person in my story. Perhaps, it's a way of disconnecting myself from my feelings.

I'd like to think that starting this thread is helping to shatter the mask and expose the person underneath this outer facade.

I am indebted to David Sylvian for so movingly expressing how I have been feeling of recent.

Thanks again, 8.

V.

[Virgil]

I'm desperate!

Gold;818223 wrote: Hello Virgil,

I hope you are feeling better and we will hear from you soon.

Gold,

Thank you for your reply.

The outpouring of support is certainly helping me to feel better.

I am not without hope but I need all the help I can get.

I will update this thread to inform others of any developments.

V.

[gyco]

I'm desperate!

hi virgil,almost sounds like my story,ive drank since i was 16,im 57 now,your condition is not much differentthen most here,lets face it either after the 1st drink ,it relaxes you or you get as sick as a dog,but we keep using,up till 2000,i had stopped on my own many times and still continou to do so,the woopy goes out of the drink and it eventually doesnt do what it origianlly did,in 10 years ive seen,4 psychitrists,several psycoligists,1 coucillor,who actually helped,the Al and the meds are a crutch,life is not easy,but it is what it is,yes you like me are a so cALLED PERFECTIONIST,BUT LOOK UP PERFECTIONIST,sorry abot the capitals,i was recently reading an article from Dr.E.valliant, a renowned psychiatrist,he has givin me a lot of answers,research,simple dont drink and if doctors prescibe med definatey dont drink,virgil i do wish you well gyco ps your nt alone

[Guest]

I'm desperate!

Virgil;816007 wrote: craving,

Thank you for the feedback.

I used to take L-Theanine prior to December last year (i.e. before starting baclofen). I seem to remember that I was taking 200mg per day. I took it for several weeks but it had no effect on my anxiety disorders.

Perhaps, I should also add that my GP has just prescribed Citalopram, which I have now started taking. Ideally, I would have preferred to reduce my baclofen dosage for a few weeks longer before starting on the Citalopram but I truly am desperate to alleviate the day-to-day suffering, which I am currently experiencing. Having said that, Citalopram does take at least four weeks to 'kick in' so it will be interesting to see if my baclofen dosage reduction has any effect on my anxiety in the meantime.

Thanks again.

V. :upset:

Hi Virgil,

I've been following your posts but have had nothing to say so far. I think the "David Sylvan" connection did it for me, along with your avatar.

Seriously now, I was prescribed Citalopram in Australia and I could kiss my doctor for doing so. I have probably suffered from depression since my teens but could never admit it.

My dad suffered also and my mother looked out for signs of it in all her 5 children and decided that my older brother would be the most likely to suffer. As far as she was concered, I cared about nothing and would not get depressed. I could never confess that I had inherited it.

I finally admitted I felt bad about a year after my son was born and this was diagnosed as post natal depression. I knew I was ill by the time he was 3 months old but, once again, never admitted it.

Whilst I lived in the UK, my NHS doctors only allowed me AD's for 6 months. Then I would crash.

I came here and despite being happy with the move, I felt depressed. (Hope that makes sense.) My doctor, and his colleagues that I see sometimes, agree that this is now a lifelong medicene for me.

I couldn't be happier now.

Someone else here has said that Citalopram did not work for them and I have friend who said the same. But please try it. It maybe the right one for you.

Spam xx