such a positive mood then I do it again

[Flip Top]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Am I just a complete idiot?

[startingover]

such a positive mood then I do it again

No, you are probably like most of us here

[Flip Top]

such a positive mood then I do it again

a couple turned into many again last night, my counsolour is really confusing me because she suggests I try to mod but im not sure if it the right thing for me.

[startingover]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Often its simply not possible to moderate our drinking. I know that right now, it seems to be quite fashionable in the substance misuse community to encourage it if possible but for myself and most folk I know moderating just isnt going to be an option for us.

Check out this post by Eve11

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...pie-40519.html

[startingover]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Also, in my opinion, before we can mod, we have to figure out our reasons for drinking in the first place. For me I am just beginning to figure this out and I have been sober for 18 months. I am not saying it takes everyone that long. Just telling you my experience.

[Doggygirl]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Wow Starty. I'm sad to hear that encouraging modding when maybe abstinence is a better choice is "in" these days. That made me think of the woman who started "Moderation Management" or whatever that program was called, who ultimately was one of us who CAN'T drink moderately and killed those people in the car crash. Yikes.

Flip, for me, any attempts at controlling my drinking were miserable because all I did was want more. AND my efforts at control usually failed. Either way, I ended up miserable. Quitting altogether was difficult for several months. But now I don't have to waste any brain cells on the "should I drink or shouldn't I drink" question (because I never drink and that's already decided). I also don't have to expend energy and anxiety trying to control something that is impossible for me to control, and then dealing with the depression that comes with failure AND alcohol. That was a viscious cycle for me and I think it is for many many people.

If you feel like you are better off without AL, GO FOR IT. It won't always be anywhere near as difficult as it is right now.

DG

[Flip Top]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Cheers Doggy Girl you are an inspiration.

Starty I have read that thread and alot of it I can connect with thanks for directing me, I might even print it off and show it to my counselor, hope its not copy righted

[mario]

such a positive mood then I do it again

I wouldn't think its copy righted and i am sure eve would not mind,especially if its going to help you,go for your goal flip, you can do it

[Flip Top]

such a positive mood then I do it again

thanks Mario Ps I was kidding about the Copy Right

[santybury]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Hi Fliptop
Yep, that all sounds so familiar. We honestly think we can control it then forward 3, 4 hours and were up to all sorts, most of which we cant remeber the next day. I think im coming to terms with the fact that I cant handle drink, sounds like you may be the same, in which case our best option is to work hard to give it up completely, easier said than done though. The good thing is tomorrow is another day, one from which we can start anew. Good luck you, dont beat yourself up, were also masters at doing that and it does not help one bit.
T

[looking for peace]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Flip top, I'm exactly where you are. Thinking I can modify and it doesn't works... It's almost always more than I want to drink and stretches out for more days than I want. I had a party to go to last weekend and wound up drinking at least 5-6 drinks. That pattern lasted 3 days.

I think since I have been able to have 1 or 2 drinks on a few occasions in the past, I somehow believe I can do it again, unfortunately, that happens only about 5% of the time. Not good odds. I need to, want to abstain. Trying to "control" it is an uphill battle, surrendering to the facts will just eliminate the fight. It's so logical.... but why is it still so hard?

[cymru]

such a positive mood then I do it again

For me, the inability to stop completley is down to our condition at the time. This is just my view on it, but there is a huge difference between 'knowing' you cant drink, to not 'wanting' to drink.
There have been many occasions in the past where I have stopped drinking, not because I really wanted too, but because I knew I was drinking too much, maybe made an ass of myself in some shape or form and therefore decided to go 'cold turkey'. Now, though I wasnt drinking the mental obsession to drink was intolerable, and I was nearly impossible to live with 99% of the time. I would eventually beat myself up and lie to myself so much mentally, that I would often use boredom as an excuse and go out 'for a few' This of course never happened and the vicious cycle continued.
The difference for me tdy is that im not fighting the urge to drink. I simply dont want to, I can take all the meds in the world to 'help' with my 'urges' but until I was ready 100% to stop, it always ended up the same. Me obliterated.
Today I am happy in my own skin, at ease with myself and dont think about buying or wanting a drink. I dont pass pubs and think 'I wish I was there', I dont walk through supermarkets looking at the wine and vodka deals(which are by the way, ridiculous in the UK) and wishing I could have just the 1.
I cant. Never will be able to. I had passed that line with my drinking that if I go back I will end up right where I started or worse.(I know this after 5 yrs sobriety and going back out).
Hope this helps, but thats why I think it can be so hard for us sometimes.
Cy x

[Guest]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Cymru,

A beautiful post and helpful to me.

Spam xx

[Cinders]

such a positive mood then I do it again

I think the whole idea of "controlling" our drinking points out whether we have a serious problem or not.

My husband doesn't have to control his drinking, he never has. He can't even begin to comprehend wanting to drink more than one or two on the odd occasion. He is definitely NOT an alcoholic.

I hate the idea of having to control something that controls me. It is a constant struggle.

It is best to give up the struggle and say, "Begone!!" poof.

It truly is why AA's Step one is Surrender. It is the same for Rational Recovery, and if you read Allan Carr's book, it is the same idea.

Just figure out you can't drink. You surrender to that idea.

Until you do, life will be a constant struggle.

But that is the first step to take. The other step requires that you want to quit fighting it. You are willing to let it go. That is a difficult step to take, also. In my case, even worse than the first.

However, I am willing to keep trying to take those first two steps, because I do know that once I do, I will be able to take on the rest of my life that my drinking has blocked.

I hope you are willing to keep trying, too.

Cindi

[Anotherday]

such a positive mood then I do it again

Cinders;826606 wrote:
Just figure out you can't drink. You surrender to that idea.


Cindi

I like this Cindi. Just plain and simple and requires no painstaking analysis. It just is what it is.

Flip Flop,

You are most definitely NOT an idiot. You are most likely one of us. Maybe you can control drinking at times. But it's the times you cannot that you have to worry about.

I am all for modding for those who can do it and it doesn't suck the life out of them trying, but for some people just not drinking at all is the way to go. I am such a person. Maybe you are such a person too?

Best wishes and pls. be easy on yourself. :l

AD