Frustrated

[runningwind]

:new: I had 4 days sober then Thursday and Friday I drank. What is this moderation control all about I thought when your a alcholic abstinence is the only way. Have I already failed again? runningwind:lease:

[Zeppie2]

Frustrated

Welcome Running Wind - I don't drink at all now, I tried to mod after doing 4 months AF and went straight back to where I started, if not worse. Now I am over 6 months AF and have decided not to moderate again, and at the moment I am happy with my decision.

For a start you will need to remove all the al from your house and not go to social events until you have more control.

good luck and stick around, this is a great place to be

[Gold]

Frustrated

You haven't failed at anything.

You don't have to moderate, some people do and some don't. I find abstaining is better for me because then I don't have to think about alcohol at all. Many people, like me, start off abstaining and then have a go at moderating which then generally seems to confirm that abstention is the way forward!

Have you thought about what you want to achieve in regard to your drinking?

[sick of being sick]

Frustrated

Alcoholism is the popular term for alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. These disorders involve repeated life problems that can be directly attributed to the use of alcohol. Both disorders can have serious consequences, affecting an individual's health and personal life, as well as having an impact on society at large.
Description
The effects of alcoholism are far reaching. Alcohol affects every body system, causing a wide range of health problems. Problems include poor nutrition, memory disorders, difficulty with balance and walking, liver disease (including cirrhosis and hepatitis), high blood pressure, muscle weakness (including the heart), heart rhythm disturbances, anemia, clotting disorders, decreased immunity to infections, gastrointestinal inflammation and irritation, acute and chronic problems with the pancreas, low blood sugar, high blood fat content, interference with reproductive fertility, and weakened bones.
On a personal level, alcoholism results in marital and other relationship difficulties, depression, unemployment, child abuse, and general family dysfunction.
Alcoholism causes or contributes to a variety of severe social problems including homelessness, murder, suicide, injury, and violent crime. Alcohol is a contributing factor in at least 50% of all deaths from motor vehicle accidents. In fact, about 100,000 deaths occur each year due to the effects of alcohol, of which 50% are due to injuries of some sort. According to a special report prepared for the U.S. Congress by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the impact of alcohol on society, including violence, traffic accidents, lost work productivity, and premature death, costs our nation an estimated $185 billion annually. In addition, it is estimated that approximately one in four children (19 million children or 29% of children up to 17 years of age) is exposed at some time to familial alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, or both. Furthermore, it has been estimated that approximately 18% of adults experience an episode of alcohol abuse or dependence a some time during their live

that sums it up for me and yes waking up to a new day so physically wrecked that scotch sprinkled over your morning ceral is the only way you can face the day..... that ....and the tradgedy that alcohol reduces one to slave status!!!!! No one definition can describe the horrible affects of alcohol addiction on a individuals life .....that is its perverse nature.... its a tailor made living hell....... however for all.... the common denominator is.... it destroys life..

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Frustrated

Hi Runningwild, once you keep trying you have never failed. There are some people here who do practice moderation but only after a stretch of AF, say a minimum of 30 days but usually much longer. Very few are successful. I would say for you to try getting some AF time under your belt before even considering that as an option. I do hope you stick around, as Zeppie has said this is a great place, full of support and advice.
Keep safe
KTAB

[sick of being sick]

Frustrated

This was written by Reggie and i found it a huge inspiration:
Alcoholism is the popular term for alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. These disorders involve repeated life problems that can be directly attributed to the use of alcohol. Both disorders can have serious consequences, affecting an individual's health and personal life, as well as having an impact on society at large.
Description
The effects of alcoholism are far reaching. Alcohol affects every body system, causing a wide range of health problems. Problems include poor nutrition, memory disorders, difficulty with balance and walking, liver disease (including cirrhosis and hepatitis), high blood pressure, muscle weakness (including the heart), heart rhythm disturbances, anemia, clotting disorders, decreased immunity to infections, gastrointestinal inflammation and irritation, acute and chronic problems with the pancreas, low blood sugar, high blood fat content, interference with reproductive fertility, and weakened bones.
On a personal level, alcoholism results in marital and other relationship difficulties, depression, unemployment, child abuse, and general family dysfunction.
Alcoholism causes or contributes to a variety of severe social problems including homelessness, murder, suicide, injury, and violent crime. Alcohol is a contributing factor in at least 50% of all deaths from motor vehicle accidents. In fact, about 100,000 deaths occur each year due to the effects of alcohol, of which 50% are due to injuries of some sort. According to a special report prepared for the U.S. Congress by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the impact of alcohol on society, including violence, traffic accidents, lost work productivity, and premature death, costs our nation an estimated $185 billion annually. In addition, it is estimated that approximately one in four children (19 million children or 29% of children up to 17 years of age) is exposed at some time to familial alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, or both. Furthermore, it has been estimated that approximately 18% of adults experience an episode of alcohol abuse or dependence a some time during their live

that sums it up for me and yes waking up to a new day so physically wrecked that scotch sprinkled over your morning ceral is the only way you can face the day..... that ....and the tradgedy that alcohol reduces one to slave status!!!!! No one definition can describe the horrible affects of alcohol addiction on a individuals life .....that is its perverse nature.... its a tailor made living hell....... however for all.... the common denominator is.... it destroys life..[/QUOTE]

[sick of being sick]

Frustrated

Sorry, I didn't know by adding a quote, I was going to post this twice. I'm a dummy!

[runningwind]

Frustrated

:wings::goodluck::nicemeeting:Zeppie2 I thank you are right, there are very few people that can moderate. I have just not wanted that person to be me. Thank-you for telling me what I already new but needed to here it from someone else. I hope every thing continues to go well for you and thank-you once again for careing. I was amazed how fast your response was. Take care runningwind.:new:

[runningwind]

Frustrated

Thank you Gold I needed to here what you said. I think not drinking at all for people like me is the only way to go! I just needed to here it from some one else. Thank-you so much for your time and your thoughts. runningwind:thanks::new:

[runningwind]

Frustrated

:thanks: sick of being sick . I have never been given such good information in such a short period of time. The concern of all people on this sight is knocking me of my feet. Everything you said is so real that I'am going to copy it and put it on my frigerator. I can't even begin to thank you for your time and your words of wisdom!:thanks: runningwind:new:

[runningwind]

Frustrated

:thanks: KTAB I can't believe the quick response from all of you. I'ts been a God sent! Thank-you so much for telling me I'am not a failure. Sometimes just hearing that from another person is enough for one to start believing it! I too, believe that abstience is the only way out for long term alcholics but its good to here it from someone else. :new::soapbox:

[jessie]

Frustrated

Hi Runningwind,
You are definitely not a failure. I've been slipping time and again but somehow the AF stretches are getting longer. Let's do March AF together.

[sisley]

Frustrated

runningwind;813404 wrote: :new: I had 4 days sober then Thursday and Friday I drank. What is this moderation control all about I thought when your a alcholic abstinence is the only way. Have I already failed again? runningwind:lease:

Hi Runnigwild...I know for me totally abstaining is the best way to go...Ive stopped many times in past years..over 6 months one time..but when I try to moderate, it goes ok for maybe a week or so and then eventually Im right back where I started...for now Im going totally AF if I get thru the 45 day goal, I may and probably will drink..but have a feeling Im gonna go for total AF again..I hope...

You have to do what feels right for you...I cleared my home of all alcohol..my husband has quit too. For me that's the only way I can do this..cant have it here...had my first test tonight went out to a singer songwritter session, was in a bar, friends offered to buy me drinks...I didnt give in...had soda and water..of course my husband was w/Me so that helped...he can take or leave it, dont bother him..but not me...well got thru it, but feeling frustrated as hell..been blogging since I got home...
this place is where I find I get the most help..just blogging talking about it is a huge help...I dont think one person has even responded to any of my posts...and Ive posted quite a few..but it doesnt matter..even if no one reads them...(I hope someone has) and maybe Ive helped someone, too.
It's just such a relief to have a place to vent...and tonight Im so frustrated and gotta put it down in words...Dont feel bad you didnt fail..just get right back to your abstinence...and bytheway the reason people answer so quickly I guess is there's alot of us online...it's Sat. night, right !!!
Keep at it...you can do it..just do it one day at a time.

[runningwind]

Frustrated

:thanks: sisley, your words of wisdom and sharing with me your own frustration of this addiction, has some how made me feel stronger.:thanks: so much for that. By the way I think it is super that you and your husband went out and still refrained from drinking!:goodjob: The next time I feel :nutso: I'am going to take your lead and just Blog!Iwish you well on your 45 days of sobriety I know you can do it! Keep me posted please. runningwind:l

[Doggygirl]

Frustrated

Hi runningwind! :welcome: I am another who CANNOT drink moderately. Never could, and even after 60 days abstinent in 2007, it didn't work then either. I'm an alkie through and through. So any fantasies of drinking again are just off the table for me. My focus is re-learning how to live - and how to do it sober and better than it EVER was while in an AL stupor of some sort all the time. (either thinking about / planning to drink, drinking, or recovering from drinking at all times)

I agree that the only way we fail is to stop trying.

Once you get some of this early difficulty behind you, it's incredible what sober living really has to offer.

Great that you have a supportive husband!!

Strength and hope to you.

DG