Feeling panicky and hopeless

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Thank you all so much! I just got home from my commitment (I volunteer). I am not drinking at all, but the truth is I am considering it. I really don't want to, but I really don't want to deal with my life either.

What do I do? I am thinking I have really screwed things up and I don't know how to fix any of it. I feel trapped, lonely and afraid.

My heart was just broken and my dreams shattered the first week of November and I cannot seem to come to terms with it. I want to cry but it only makes matters worse when I do. I'm at odds with too many people and just want to hide.

I've been diagnosed as bipolar 1 depressive, dysthymic, cyclothymic, major depression recurrent and now this new therapist is thinking a personality disorder (as in depressive personality disorder). Who knows what I really am? Before November I never had to take high blood pressure medication and now I do. I am bloated, fat and filled with what feels like a giant blob of pain ready to burst. I am uncomfortable in my own skin.

I just don't know anymore. I will read the other posts here and thank you all. I will do my best not to drink today. Anyway, thanks for letting me type. At least I don't feel panicky now, although I still haven't heard anything from the instructor about all my absences. I was just too busy drinking to go to class and I hate the class in and of itself.

Sorry for so much information. It does help to get this out though. :thanks:

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

songbird;816235 wrote: New again here....same situation...same clothes for days hair not washed for a week....no ambition. agoraphobic, want to sleep, don't want to go to work....E-mailed drunk, no one wants to hear the same ole story again...therefore....I am too alone and am used to not talking all day when not working...

I am sad and mad at all of this. What I am sayin is that you are not alone.

Still sober after 4 days and plan to make it through today.

I guess that is exhausting enough. Hope I did not bum you out, but when I hurt, I like to know there is someone else out there who is "tolerating" what I am since I have noone to call.

Good for you on 4 days! Gosh, you typed out my exact situation! And I can relate to the tolerating part too! A friend of mine told me last week my life is intolerable to her. :upset: Needless to say, we might not be friends anymore. I don't have anyone to call either! Hang in there and thanks for sharing!

[jessie]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

:welcome:Anotherday, many of us were where you are now - since being on MWO I have managed up to 24 days AF - and somehow I know deep down the switch will go off and I'll be AF forever. Don't be discouraged.

[K9Lover]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Hi and Welcome AnotherDay!
I can totally related to your experience of drinking then getting on the internet. In fact, this morning I had a message in my Facebook account that said "That sound good, see you then".....um, what? "What sounds good and see you when?"...that was my first thought. Having no recollection of the night before is scaring me badly. Checking the phone for dialed calls, texts sent, messages online....it's just too much! It is such a relief to wake up in the morning and know exactly what happened the night before. Recently I was able to string together 40+ AF days, but then relapsed. It is possible...and we are here for you!awprint:awprint:

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

K9Lover;816324 wrote: Hi and Welcome AnotherDay!
I can totally related to your experience of drinking then getting on the internet. In fact, this morning I had a message in my Facebook account that said "That sound good, see you then".....um, what? "What sounds good and see you when?"...that was my first thought. Having no recollection of the night before is scaring me badly. Checking the phone for dialed calls, texts sent, messages online....it's just too much! It is such a relief to wake up in the morning and know exactly what happened the night before. Recently I was able to string together 40+ AF days, but then relapsed. It is possible...and we are here for you!awprint:awprint:

Aww, what a cute pup! I have two of my own!

Did you figure out what is going on? Do you know who you are to meet and when and where? Scary.

Good on you for 40+ days. I know that is quite an achievement, as I did it last fall myself and it was hard!

[K9Lover]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Haven't figured out what and when yet...can't log onto Facebook from work, so I will have to wait until I get home to see what brought on that response.:eeks:

How are you doing right now? Do you have a plan for not drinking today/tonight?

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

jessie;816312 wrote: :welcome:Anotherday, many of us were where you are now - since being on MWO I have managed up to 24 days AF - and somehow I know deep down the switch will go off and I'll be AF forever. Don't be discouraged.

Aww, another cute pup! Thanks! And good going on 24 days AF!

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

K9Lover;816338 wrote: Haven't figured out what and when yet...can't log onto Facebook from work, so I will have to wait until I get home to see what brought on that response.:eeks:

How are you doing right now? Do you have a plan for not drinking today/tonight?

Yikes. Good luck and hope all turns out ok.

I am ok right now. I got a call from a friend's daughter that perked me up. Plus, I am going to sleep soon. That is my plan for today. If I get ambitious, I'll make curry. Thanks for asking.

[Flip Top]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

want a good curry recipe?

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Flip Top;816633 wrote: want a good curry recipe?

Yes, I'd love one! if ok to post in this thread. Otherwise, can you please pm me?

[Flip Top]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Anotherday;816710 wrote: Yes, I'd love one! if ok to post in this thread. Otherwise, can you please pm me?

Have a look on this website

Madras Curry - 203097 - Recipezaar

I have made this and it turns out very well.
Slow cooker is the best but thats how i first made it.
Hope you enjoy.
That should keep the cob webs away.

[reneesmiles]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Anotherday - I do not know how many of these types of treatment centers exist in the United States, but I live in the area and this program literally SAVED MY LIFE. I was in the same boat as you were. It's worth taking a look at this approach:

Comprehensive Treatment Programs for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction | Integrated Neuroscience

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

reneesmiles;818072 wrote: Anotherday - I do not know how many of these types of treatment centers exist in the United States, but I live in the area and this program literally SAVED MY LIFE. I was in the same boat as you were. It's worth taking a look at this approach:

Comprehensive Treatment Programs for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction | Integrated Neuroscience

Wow, thank you very much! I am going to read up on this! Ok, just read up on this. Very interesting and too bad I don't live in MO. In my travels and looking at rehabs (I thought I'd looked all over the country) I never came across this. It is a wonderful resource.

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Flip Top;816715 wrote: Have a look on this website

Madras Curry - 203097 - Recipezaar

I have made this and it turns out very well.
Slow cooker is the best but thats how i first made it.
Hope you enjoy.
That should keep the cob webs away.

Cool site. Thanks so much!

[red stallion]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

faith

Anotherday;816339 wrote: Aww, another cute pup! Thanks! And good going on 24 days AF!

One of my biggest issues with alcohol is losing faith in myself...so I drink to numb the pain...I could use all the help in the world to try and restore faith in my life and hopefully my sobriety,,,any help would be greatly appriciated Thanx!!!!!!!!