Feeling panicky and hopeless

[Anotherday]

Hello,

New here and feeling panicky and hopeless. I want to go to the store and buy some wine but I have a commitment this morning. Lately, I have been shirking the few responsibilities I have in favor of drinking. I've been drinking two bottles of wine daily and then trying to sleep as much as I can with the help of a bit of a sleeping pill.

I am sitting here thinking that as soon as I'm done with my commitment this morning I can go buy wine, but I know this is a vicious cycle that is going to kill me and soon if I don't stop. I've been at this for over 30 years now. I've tried several rehabs, psychotropic meds, shrink, therapists, self help groups and I keep drinking.

People have written me off now and I only have one friend who does not live here so I am completely alone, unemployed, and feel on the edge of going crazy. I wear the same clothes daily and don't even bother to shower unless I have to. Things have really gone downhill since November and I don't know if I can turn all of this around. I am becoming more of a shut in by the day and not wanting to do my commitment this morning.

Well, I just wanted to reach out to someone so that maybe I don't drink today. Thanks,

AD

[mama bear]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Oh Another Day....poor baby
we are here for you and do not judge.....please take care of yourself and talk to us

[Guest]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Anotherday,
Please dont give up on yourself. Coming to this website demonstrates that you have had enough and want to make things better. You will find an overwhelming show of caring and support from everyone on this iste. You are not alone, we are all at various stages of alcoholism here and we all have a common goal - to beat this addiction and to be here for everyone else. Do you have a doctor that you can go to for help? There are many supplements out there that can help reduce the cravings. I am not up to speed on them but many here are. I have been taking Baclofen for my problem and it has been amazing. If you want to talk more with me, feel free to message me or talk to me on this thread. You will have many others here reach out to you as well.
Remember, it can be beat, you can do it, you have sooo much to live for, dont give up

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

mama bear;816061 wrote: Oh Another Day....poor baby
we are here for you and do not judge.....please take care of yourself and talk to us

Thanks, Mama Bear. I really would like to be drinking right now and I cannot as I have to leave for my commitment in one hour. I am really screwing up and missed class last night AGAIN as I drank two bottles of wine. Had to email instructor and tell him I am having personal health issues. I have to turn things around and I have nothing to wear except one outfit and even that seems like too much work to put on this morning. This is such a fight! Part of me wants to get well and the other part just wants to drink!

[Gold]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Well done for reaching out. It seems all but impossible to turn things around when the situation created by drinking has taken over from everything else. It is possible to change things, little by little, at least that is how it starts.

Start by spending your time here instead of drinking, read all that you can, join the chat when you see people there, and start to get a routine going for yourself. If you are in the Northern hemisphere then spring is just around the corner, a great time to start, if you're not then it is still a great time to start, it is just that the symbolism of spring representing new beginnings is so powerful.

Perhaps you could set some small steps for yourself, getting yourself ready in the mornings so that you are able to go out at a moments notice. Start to think about what you would like to fill your time with, even if it's only small things at first it is something to be doing and focusing on.

The greatest opportunities lie in difficult circumstances, you are free to choose whatever you want for yourself without the need to consider others from the sound of things. Choose boldly and bravely, start to create a new life for yourself, today.

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Hoping for the best;816064 wrote: Anotherday,
Please dont give up on yourself. Coming to this website demonstrates that you have had enough and want to make things better. You will find an overwhelming show of caring and support from everyone on this iste. You are not alone, we are all at various stages of alcoholism here and we all have a common goal - to beat this addiction and to be here for everyone else. Do you have a doctor that you can go to for help? There are many supplements out there that can help reduce the cravings. I am not up to speed on them but many here are. I have been taking Baclofen for my problem and it has been amazing. If you want to talk more with me, feel free to message me or talk to me on this thread. You will have many others here reach out to you as well.
Remember, it can be beat, you can do it, you have sooo much to live for, dont give up

Thanks! I do want to make things better but I am afraid I am one of the people for whom things cannot get better! I do have a Dr and he's pretty much disgusted with me. I started seeing a new therapist and continue to drink.

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

And I'm afraid to drive this morning and that is not good. I hate myself for missing class AGAIN and I cannot afford to be doing this. What is wrong with me? Why can't something work? I try and try and fail and fail.

I will go do my thing this a.m. and then come home and check in here. The urge to buy wine is very strong though. I hate seeing what things have come to so I drink to not see them and then things just get worse.

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Gold;816067 wrote: Well done for reaching out. It seems all but impossible to turn things around when the situation created by drinking has taken over from everything else. It is possible to change things, little by little, at least that is how it starts.

Start by spending your time here instead of drinking, read all that you can, join the chat when you see people there, and start to get a routine going for yourself. If you are in the Northern hemisphere then spring is just around the corner, a great time to start, if you're not then it is still a great time to start, it is just that the symbolism of spring representing new beginnings is so powerful.

Perhaps you could set some small steps for yourself, getting yourself ready in the mornings so that you are able to go out at a moments notice. Start to think about what you would like to fill your time with, even if it's only small things at first it is something to be doing and focusing on.

The greatest opportunities lie in difficult circumstances, you are free to choose whatever you want for yourself without the need to consider others from the sound of things. Choose boldly and bravely, start to create a new life for yourself, today.

Thanks, Gold. I know everything you say is true but it's like I am fixated on wine. I love to get up in the middle of the night and drink when the world is asleep. I drink at all times of the day. Then I try to escape through sleep. I must do baby steps, you are right small things.

[melissa27]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Anotherday :welcome:

I am also new! You are definitely not alone! You've come to the right place! You will be amazed at how much love and support you are going to get. A lot of wonderful people here! You will see!

You have taken the most difficult first step which is to join. It took me two months of reading the posts before I decided to join. Start by doing the same, read and read and read as much as you can and post every day as many times as you can. Keep in mind I am also a heavy drinker for many years now and I know exactly how you feel!

There is hope for you and for all of us! Don't give up!!

[Anotherday]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

melissa27;816074 wrote: Anotherday :welcome:

I am also new! You are definitely not alone! You've come to the right place! You will be amazed at how much love and support you are going to get. A lot of wonderful people here! You will see!

You have taken the most difficult first step which is to join. It took me two months of reading the posts before I decided to join. Start by doing the same, read and read and read as much as you can and post every day as many times as you can. Keep in mind I am also a heavy drinker for many years now and I know exactly how you feel!

There is hope for you and for all of us! Don't give up!!

Thanks so much Melissa! Welcome to you too!

I am sitting here thinking I wish I would get physical hangovers. This whole thing would be much easier. I just get a bunch of anxiety and depression instead and it seems like the cure is found in a glass or several of wine.

I feel like I have completely ruined my life and don't know what to do. I can sit here and type all of this out, but I still don't know what to do. I've been a drinker my whole life but I am really in a bad spot right now - wondering how on earth I'll make it through today without a drink.

I will drink and then go on Internet sites and then wake up with this feeling of dread as in...what did I say? Was I offensive? Did I type my address on the Net? Crazy stuff like this. My whole world is around drinking, sitting in my house and watching my life go down while those around me give up on me. Yet I know I am not to give up on me, which is why I am here.

I hope to learn from you guys how to do this. I know I am blabbing on and I apologize. I will sign off for now. Thanks all.

[Guest]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Another,
I sent you a PM. Hang in there, we are here to help. You are not babbling, you need to come here and express yourself, it's part of the healing process.

[mama bear]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Another day...write as much as you need ...no apology needed.....

[melissa27]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

Another,
DO NOT feel guilty and please DO NOT apologize! I too am where you are! Believe me. This is the first time in my life that I got the courage to admit to the problem, just like you. We made the first step, which is a huge step! Day 3 now for me and I can already feel it. Being here and writing this, just like you did, is the start of the healing process.
Please don't stop posting, we all need each other! We can do it!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!

[Cinders]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

You are not alone.

We are here.

Love,
Cindi

[songbird]

Feeling panicky and hopeless

New again here....same situation...same clothes for days hair not washed for a week....no ambition. agoraphobic, want to sleep, don't want to go to work....E-mailed drunk, no one wants to hear the same ole story again...therefore....I am too alone and am used to not talking all day when not working...

I am sad and mad at all of this. What I am sayin is that you are not alone.

Still sober after 4 days and plan to make it through today.

I guess that is exhausting enough. Hope I did not bum you out, but when I hurt, I like to know there is someone else out there who is "tolerating" what I am since I have noone to call.