Help!!!

[santybury]

Hi,
Im new to this site so just saying hello. I dont know where to start really or what to say other that my drinking is out of control and the shame I feel makes me want to die. My friendships, those that I have left that is are being affected and I hate the person I become when im drunk. How does a person stop?? been trying to control drink for years and just cant. I would appreciate any help , advice or just some friendly words right now.
Thankyou.

[Rusty]

Help!!!

Welcome Santybury,

You have come to the right place. I understand how you feel about losing friendships. I came VERY close myself last year to losing my closest friends. Is rehab an option for you? If not, just hang out on this site and under the Abstainers' Form, go to the Tool Box. Read all the posts....they really do help. You have much company here and we have all been in your shoes, which is why we are all here.

You can also go to Chat and when you feel like chatting, just ask and someone undoubtedly will be online to talk to you. I would be more than happy to chat with you now except I have a 6.5 hour drive ahead of me and I must leave now to beat the traffic.

Just for today, try and be alcohol-free. I don't know how much you've been drinking but withdrawal symptoms may be dangerous. Have you spoken to your doctor about getting on something like Antabuse, Campral, etc.? That would be a good place to start.

I am lucky that I have a job where I am online most of the time during the day. I care about you and I am here for you. I will check in with you after my drive and I'll be online all day tomorrow, too.

Thinking good thoughts for your recovery,

Rusty

[mama bear]

Help!!!

Welcome Santy.....
I am fairly new here too and still struggling. Join us in the newbies nest in the Just starting out section and you will meet all sorts of wonderful supportive friends. I ordered the book and am following the program. Not alcohol free (AF) yet, but wokring on it.
We are here for you....you are not alone believe me...we have ALL been where you are now honey.

[JackieClaire]

Help!!!

:welcome: santybury,
You've just made a huge step by reaching out for help.
Click on the link below to help you get a plan of action together,
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Keep posting,keep reading and let us get to know you.

J x
:l

[Anotherday]

Help!!!

A person stops one day at a time. That really is the only way to do it, as hard as it is. Sometimes it has to be one hour at a time.

You've reached out which is an excellent first step. I'd suggest spending a lot of time here. There are also groups you can attend, if you are a group sort of person.

There are also rehabs, medications, etc. I tend to believe in the most conservative approach at first, but of course I don't know your circumstances.

At any rate, :welcome: You have found a good place! Read and post often!

AD

[santybury]

Help!!!

Rusty;825661 wrote: Welcome Santybury,

You have come to the right place. I understand how you feel about losing friendships. I came VERY close myself last year to losing my closest friends. Is rehab an option for you? If not, just hang out on this site and under the Abstainers' Form, go to the Tool Box. Read all the posts....they really do help. You have much company here and we have all been in your shoes, which is why we are all here.

You can also go to Chat and when you feel like chatting, just ask and someone undoubtedly will be online to talk to you. I would be more than happy to chat with you now except I have a 6.5 hour drive ahead of me and I must leave now to beat the traffic.

Just for today, try and be alcohol-free. I don't know how much you've been drinking but withdrawal symptoms may be dangerous. Have you spoken to your doctor about getting on something like Antabuse, Campral, etc.? That would be a good place to start.

I am lucky that I have a job where I am online most of the time during the day. I care about you and I am here for you. I will check in with you after my drive and I'll be online all day tomorrow, too.

Thinking good thoughts for your recovery,

Rusty

Hi Rusty
Thank you so much. Sitting here crying but think its relief that I am ready to face this addiction. I have lost so much over the years but its the loss of my dignity that hurts the most. I cant count the times I have totally humiliated myself and my children, with my drunken antics. I had an episode last night which I cant even remember and it ruined the weekend and I have probably lost a good friend over my behaviour, I just hate what I can become.
Thank you again for your kind words.

[santybury]

Help!!!

Anotherday;825667 wrote: A person stops one day at a time. That really is the only way to do it, as hard as it is. Sometimes it has to be one hour at a time.

You've reached out which is an excellent first step. I'd suggest spending a lot of time here. There are also groups you can attend, if you are a group sort of person.

There are also rehabs, medications, etc. I tend to believe in the most conservative approach at first, but of course I don't know your circumstances.

At any rate, :welcome: You have found a good place! Read and post often!

AD

Hi
Thankyou for taking the time to message me. I feel like i have finally found some where.
Thanks again!

[santybury]

Help!!!

mama bear;825662 wrote: Welcome Santy.....
I am fairly new here too and still struggling. Join us in the newbies nest in the Just starting out section and you will meet all sorts of wonderful supportive friends. I ordered the book and am following the program. Not alcohol free (AF) yet, but wokring on it.
We are here for you....you are not alone believe me...we have ALL been where you are now honey.

Hi,
Thanks for replying. Still feeling my way around this site but I already feel like im not on my own
Thank you again!

[santybury]

Help!!!

Anotherday;825667 wrote: A person stops one day at a time. That really is the only way to do it, as hard as it is. Sometimes it has to be one hour at a time.

You've reached out which is an excellent first step. I'd suggest spending a lot of time here. There are also groups you can attend, if you are a group sort of person.

There are also rehabs, medications, etc. I tend to believe in the most conservative approach at first, but of course I don't know your circumstances.

At any rate, :welcome: You have found a good place! Read and post often!

AD

Thankyou
I will definately follow your advice. Alcoholism is such a shameful thing to talk to people about, its so hard to admit that you have a problem.
Thanks again!

[stirly-girly]

Help!!!

santybury;825656 wrote: Hi,
Im new to this site so just saying hello. I dont know where to start really or what to say other that my drinking is out of control and the shame I feel makes me want to die. My friendships, those that I have left that is are being affected and I hate the person I become when im drunk. How does a person stop?? been trying to control drink for years and just cant. I would appreciate any help , advice or just some friendly words right now.
Thankyou.

Hi SantyB.
:welcome: to MWO. You have come to a great place where people really care about each other. Jackie has sent you the link for the "Tool Box" and you will find good advice there. Rusty asked about your drinking, how much you've been consuming. Just in case you don't know, if you've been drinking a lot on a regular basis, you can have withdrawal symptoms that can be dangerous. So you should really talk to a doctor or at least have someone responsible stay with you if you are thinking about quitting cold turkey with no meds to ease the W/D symptoms. Don't let that scare you into not stopping tho' - just want you to be aware of the dangers in case you didn't.
Stay here, read as much as you can, post what you want. Lots of folks here can give you really good advice and certainly the support here at MWO is one of a kind. And if you need to go to chat, as Rusty said, just go to the chat room if someone's there. If not, just post that you need to chat and someone, somewhere will be there to talk to you. There are folks here from all over the world so when it's the middle of the night where you live, someone else is just having their morning coffee!
You have taken positive steps by admitting that you have a problem and by wanting to get help to confront that problem. Stick around. We'll do what we can to get you off to a good start...
Stirly
P.S. All the members here have problems with alcohol, otherwise they wouldn't be here. So don't be ashamed to talk about it. We've all been in your shoes. At MWO, no one judges, no one condemns. We are all in this together with one goal - to overcome our problem with alcohol in order to live a healthier life.

[santybury]

Help!!!

Hi
Thanks for your message! I dont think i'll get withdrawel effects, ive managed to go a couple of weeks before and felt physically good, my mind was the problem. My drinking has caused me countless problems and still I continue. Some of the things I have done are just so cringingly embarressing that I feel like I cant look people in the eye anymore. I just get so blindingly drunk and cant control it. Over the past year ive been working in London and going out up there and Im lucky that I was never raped or hurt because the drink took all fear and sense away from me. After yet another binge last night, I realise i have to change because its killing me physically, and its killing my soul.
Thanks again x

[stirly-girly]

Help!!!

santybury;825698 wrote: Hi
Thanks for your message! I dont think i'll get withdrawel effects, ive managed to go a couple of weeks before and felt physically good, my mind was the problem. My drinking has caused me countless problems and still I continue. Some of the things I have done are just so cringingly embarressing that I feel like I cant look people in the eye anymore. I just get so blindingly drunk and cant control it. Over the past year ive been working in London and going out up there and Im lucky that I was never raped or hurt because the drink took all fear and sense away from me. After yet another binge last night, I realise i have to change because its killing me physically, and its killing my soul.
Thanks again x

Yep Santy, AL will do that. Make us blinding idiots who don't have a clue what we're doing and can't remember the next day either...
Don't think it hasn't happened to most of us here.
One positive thing is that you managed to stop before and you say you felt good physically. That is one thing to hang on to and remember. Try making a list (and be honest - you're the only one who will read it) and write down how good you felt the times you stopped and what changed for the better during those days. Then write what you hate about drinking and maybe add a couple of things that you remember doing when you were drunk or that you got told about the next day, that made you cringe. (One member wrote about throwing up in her bed or on the floor and her poor husband had to clean up the mess.) Things like that, that when you think about them your stomach gives a little jolt and you redden with embarrassment...
Just a couple of ideas to get you started...
Stirly
P.S. Pardon me for asking but how old are you and how old are your kids? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's just that it's a difficult situation all round, but more so when the kids are little. Because you say you've been working in London, I assume that they are older...

[sick of being sick]

Help!!!

Welcome! This site is a family of love! It has been a lifeline for me. So many caring people here that no matter what you do, they love and encourage you through it. Drinking has made me hate myself, also. I did go to rehab but it did not help me. This site is the only thing that has helped me. I stay on it as much as possible, reading posts and writing all my feelings down. I drank a fifth of vodka every night for 5+ years and over the last 2 months, I have only drank 6 times. It can be done. I ordered the starter pkg on this site and the supplements make you feel so healthy and happy once you get off the liquor. I also got on baclofen, which reduces cravings. My husband drinks so once he starts, I sit on my computer and spend time "with my family" instead of drinking with him. I would highly recommend this book to you, "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" by Allen Carr. I got it on Amazon for $10. but I've heard people found it at walmart or the library. You will make a ton of friends here so stay on the site, especially if you are tempted to drink or if you mess up and drink. Don't beat yourself up (like I do), just get right back up and start again. Don't look back or forward, just focus on today and staying sober just for today. That is the only way it can be done, otherwise it is too overwelming. Don't tell yourself you are never going to drink again, tell yourself you are NOT going to drink TODAY! I know you will love it here and I wish you all the best. Love, Vicki

[hangingon]

Help!!!

I think sobs and stirly gave great advice. Keep posting as much as you can and get on chat when you can. This site is amazing support.
hanging

[santybury]

Help!!!

stirly-girly;825703 wrote: Yep Santy, AL will do that. Make us blinding idiots who don't have a clue what we're doing and can't remember the next day either...
Don't think it hasn't happened to most of us here.
One positive thing is that you managed to stop before and you say you felt good physically. That is one thing to hang on to and remember. Try making a list (and be honest - you're the only one who will read it) and write down how good you felt the times you stopped and what changed for the better during those days. Then write what you hate about drinking and maybe add a couple of things that you remember doing when you were drunk or that you got told about the next day, that made you cringe. (One member wrote about throwing up in her bed or on the floor and her poor husband had to clean up the mess.) Things like that, that when you think about them your stomach gives a little jolt and you redden with embarrassment...
Just a couple of ideas to get you started...
Stirly
P.S. Pardon me for asking but how old are you and how old are your kids? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's just that it's a difficult situation all round, but more so when the kids are little. Because you say you've been working in London, I assume that they are older...

Hi Stirly
Im 44. Im a nurse, (Aesthetics) and fortunatley I dont work in London now. My girls are 21 and 17 and have seen their Mum wrecked many a time, not a pretty sight. Writing stuff down does help, When i was trying to give up or cut down before i used to write "YLYD" in the palm of my hand. It stood for "you loose your dignity!" It did help at times, but I still lost a lot of it on the way. The list of embarressing stuff is endless, ive woken up with different men in different places, been refused drinks in bars where im so drunk, God, How awful is that!!! Then by day im a decent nurse, its like living 2 lives.
thanks againx