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    #1

    Don't know how to do it

    I keep trying and trying and its just too hard. Every time I start doing well being AF I either think "Oh yeah, I can handle it," or "Hell yeah I want a drink. Remember how great it makes me feel?" I know it doesn't make me feel good and every time I drink I'm like most people on this site, I do something horribly stupid that I regret later. Even if it's something stupid. Like a week ago for my b-day, my mom made me a cake from scratch and I always went to get some but I started drinking last week and I hate to drink and eat (especially sweets). So I'd end up becoming too wasted to drink and I wasted pretty much the entire cake leaving it out all over the house. I could have ate it first and THEN got drunk but that drink looked so much better at the time. Now I feel bad because she spent the time to show she cares and I just wasted it. I want some so bad now, but it's all gone. Anyways...

    I also think I might be depressed and have bad anxiety but I'm always too worried and afraid to talk to anyone about it. Always feel like they're judging me. I know they're not. But I can't convince myself when I start to think about talking to someone. At least on here I feel anonymous and wouldn't matter what any one thought. I think that was one of the biggest reasons I started drinking so much. I always worry and the AL makes me feel like I can do anything. Unfortunately it makes me do things I don't want to and I end up not doing what I really want to. It's a vicious cycle but it's there and I need help. Hopefully I can stay AF for longer than 2 weeks this time and get better to actually help myself. Until then I just don't know what to do. At least this vent let me get some of it out of my system and not completely bottled up.
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    #2
    Don't know how to do it

    Hi BurrCO. Lots of us feel it's just too hard in the beginning. What you have to keep in the front of your mind is how hard it is AFTER you've been drinking - the regrets, the self-derision and yes, the depression and anxiety. Alcohol increases depression and anxiety, often because of what you did whilst drinking or can't remember. Just keep on keeping on, one day at a time. Promise yourself a drink tomorrow if you get through today, etc, etc and before you know it you will have reached your milestone. Also, keep on extending your goal once you reach it.

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      #3
      Don't know how to do it

      Pan_;827053 wrote: Hi BurrCO. Lots of us feel it's just too hard in the beginning. What you have to keep in the front of your mind is how hard it is AFTER you've been drinking - the regrets, the self-derision and yes, the depression and anxiety. Alcohol increases depression and anxiety, often because of what you did whilst drinking or can't remember. Just keep on keeping on, one day at a time. Promise yourself a drink tomorrow if you get through today, etc, etc and before you know it you will have reached your milestone. Also, keep on extending your goal once you reach it.
      A friend and I have a Mk 1 Golf with a 2.0l 16V Mk3 engine with Digifant engine management on it. We're having a few problems with the immobilisier but, when we get that sorted, we'd like to either turbo- or supercharge it. Can anybody recommend a kit or a place we can look for more information on doing this, please?

      Thanks for any help.
      Print koozies | Koozie printing

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        #4
        Don't know how to do it

        Hiya BurrCO -
        You may be like me and many others here and just not be able to drink at all. Trust me you will grow to be not bothered by not drinking.

        After 7 months AF I don't miss drinking and enjoy socialising with friends who drink, the only difference now is I am the one watching them be idiots not me being the Queen of the Idiots.

        Give at least 60 days AF a go before you even contemplate trying to mod and remember you just may not be able to drink. I am an all or nothing sort of girl and as far as alcohol is concerned I am proud to have none.

        As for talking about issues in your life, feel free to do so on here, we are all in the same boat.

        Take care and let us know how you are getting on
        It's time I put my big girl pants on. :grannypants: I hope they fit.

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          #5
          Don't know how to do it

          BurrCo,
          If you are serious about wanting to stop, it can be done. We can help you choose how and offer support but the big thing is that you have to put the effort into it as well. I think it is safe to assume that all of us here feel a little depressed and anxious because of alcohol but being sober for about a month and a half, I can tell you I cannot remember the last time I have ever felt so happy. My attitude has changed from always seeing the negative to always seeing the positive. I wish those that are struggling could see how much better life is on this side, but I know how hard it is to get there. All I can say is that it is worth the fight.

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            #6
            Don't know how to do it

            Thanks all. That's the biggest problem. I wasn't trying to mod before. But it just calls so much and then I change my mind about it. Its 3 days right now so it's starting again. I don't really have too much to talk about right now, except maybe the fact that I'm ruining my chances of graduating. I won't hesitate to talk on here if I do.

            I am feeling great today though. It snowed here in Colorado last night and I spent all morning playing with my dogs outside since I couldn't really go anywhere (didn't really have to anyways) so I'm feeling pretty good right now. I think I can do it. I guess I'm going to have to have someone to force that Antabuse down my throat.

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              #7
              Don't know how to do it

              BurrCO,

              It is so great that you are tackling this now and not later in life. I didn't take care of it and now it has been years and I have to take care of it!
              Enjoying the snow in CO too today.
              Good luck!

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                #8
                Don't know how to do it

                4MyHealth;827387 wrote: BurrCO,

                It is so great that you are tackling this now and not later in life. I didn't take care of it and now it has been years and I have to take care of it!
                Enjoying the snow in CO too today.
                Good luck!
                Yeah, even though I'm young I need to do this. Been in the hospital several times already for AL related problems, been messing up with school, became lazy and my doc says that if i went on like I was I'd screw up my liver something bad really soon and worse not too far off. At least I'm want to stop and I'm trying. Hard to realize how much drinking is a part of the world until you can't do it, then everyone has a drink everywhere. Especially at my age.

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                  #9
                  Don't know how to do it

                  Burrco,
                  Everyone here knows only to well how Alcohol calls your name and tells you you are ok cause you can goa day or two, but that is the alcohol talking which speaks over your body that is trying to tell us that it hurts everytime we let alcohol win. Our bodies can't win against alcohol. The longer you go without it, the easier it is to see that you dont need it and that it was controlling you.
                  You are also right, everyone drinks at your age but some day, alcohol will take over their mind as well, at least some of them. 4myhealth is right, end it now so you dont have to deal with it years from now when your body is damaged and can't recover. I am not a doctor or a therapist, I am some one who has had to go through this. I am not pretending to understand what you are feeling, I have felt it.
                  Take care my friend, I am here, we are all here for you.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Don't know how to do it

                    BurrCO, just wanted to add to th voices of support for you getting AL out of your life. AL does not know any boudaries of age, sex, religion, race, or economic circumstances. AL can grab anyone, any time.

                    Keep reading and posting. You will keep seeing that you are not alone with any of this, including the "I feel better now so maybe I can control it this time..." kind of thinking. I used to think I was the only one with these various thoughts. It was a relief to find out I was NOT alone with any of it. And by listening to the experiences of others, I can better understand my affliction and what danger signals to watch out for.

                    One thing is for sure, I cannot safely drink, ever. I can drink if I choose to, but it will never be a safe thing for me or anyone around me.

                    Even if you have to look really hard, find out where the students are who don't drink. I know it must seem like *everyone* drinks, but I assure you, everyone doesn't. Find the others like you who either can't drink or don't drink for whatever reason. It's easier to hang out and do things with people who are NOT drinking than it is to hang in drinking environs.

                    Strength and hope,

                    DG
                    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                    One day at a time.

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