Can't get past 48 hours

[Doggygirl]

Can't get past 48 hours

Hello all! DB, I hope things go OK when your son gets home. Those were wise words from UK to just concentrate on your sobriety - that will be the foundation you can build on over time.

UK, I LOVE my AA groups but they are woefully uneducated when it comes to the connections between sugar and AL addiction (and other issues). :H I nearly got my head bit off for saying something about it at a meeting shortly after I started. So I have learned to let them eat donuts in peace.

As an irrelevant factoid, I recall reading somewhere - 7 Weeks to Sobriety perhaps? (been a long time) that Bill Wilson (co-founder of AA) was following closely some research about the sugar / amino acid / nutrition connection during the time shortly before his death. I really do think that working on some of the nutritional deficiencies AND getting sugar / processed flour out of the picture really does help manage cravings. All sugar does for me is start up a viscious craving cycle and early in my sobriety, AL was mixed up in that. Now it's just sugar. That's what I take L-Glut for these days - sugar cravings! If I would just learn to leave it alone like your plan UK, I do fine.

Snap, it seems you see the problem with the short terms goals that leave too much room for "permission" to drink once the goal is met. Drinking again just keeps us in an endless cycle of misery. The only way we can really get free is to NOT DRINK. The only way I have found to get my life back is to not drink today, and then repeat over and over and over. And during this sober time, proactively work on personal growth. It doesn't happen by osmosis or anything.

Anyway...enough rambling! DB - I'm thinking of you. I hope tonight goes OK. No matter what happens good or bad, drinking over it would only make it worse. I like this quote:

Nothing in life is so bad that drinking won't make it worse.

DG

DG

[dancelot]

Can't get past 48 hours

Doggygirl;835667 wrote:
As an irrelevant factoid, I recall reading somewhere - 7 Weeks to Sobriety perhaps? (been a long time) that Bill Wilson (co-founder of AA) was following closely some research about the sugar / amino acid / nutrition connection during the time shortly before his death. I really do think that working on some of the nutritional deficiencies AND getting sugar / processed flour out of the picture really does help manage cravings. All sugar does for me is start up a viscious craving cycle and early in my sobriety, AL was mixed up in that. Now it's just sugar. That's what I take L-Glut for these days - sugar cravings! If I would just learn to leave it alone like your plan UK, I do fine.

That was from 7 Weeks To Sobriety - I just got this book after someone mentioning it somewhere else in this forum. It's a great resource.

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

UK ~ thanks for the encouraging words, I read them early this morning and they really helped me stay focused on sobriety first and foremost. I would have thanked you earlier, but I am not allowed to respond to this site from work, "the rules" you know...!!

DG ~ thanks for the thoughts and well wishes, I agree with Snap you are an inspiration to this site and to this thread. I hope in some way we can be as supportive to you as you have been to all of us. I had to laugh out loud at your comment on sugar (donuts) at the AA meeting ~ with all due respect, I just don't see how all that refined sugar can do any good! But if it works for some people then so be it ....

Snap, I'm so glad you found this thread! I come here everyday, its a life support for me especially in these early days of sobriety. It is Day 4 for me ~ yeah!! I hope you will read and post here everyday =) It is very encouraging and strengthening to relate to others who have tread the same path ~ No one can really understand us except for "us", we share a common thread in life and weaving those threads together will help us to create a strong bond for one another to fight the addictive behavior we share. We can beat this, as DG has proven and look at UK, is this day 11 or 12 UK? wow!


Dancelot, I've heard of that book, I will have to search for it. I am currently reading Alan Carrs, How to stop drinking ~ it took me a while to get into it, but it is all coming in to place and making a lot of sense to me!!

thanks everyone for being here! its friday night and I am going to clean my house and relax with my Allan Carr book ~ I have to be at work at 6AM so early evening for this sober girl! =0)

btw ~ son got back from camping last night, he went home to his dads house and has not come over to my house (which is his primary residence) or at least it used to be.... well, my sobriety is number 1 for me, it has to be ~

DB

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

Thanks I'm on day 12 now I've been working very hard at this. Trying to keep chilled out, reduced my work pressure and generally taking things easy. Whenever I'm craving I'm on here. Have to confess I had some chocolate last night - a friend brought some around but it was a 'controlled' intake and I feel ok - will still be avoiding sugar as much as I can though.

Keep going I'm amazed at how quickly the days have gone this week, the first few were an enternity. Guess it's because I'm feeling so much better and am 'living' again.

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

Wow UK, you are nearly 2 weeks sober! You go Girl!

So what are everyone's plans for the weekend? Please share as I am trying to make plans for my weekend, I need some idea's. You know what is rather enlightening? I am discovering that I don't have any friends that I can call to go to a movie or hang out with ~ I am not socializing with drinkers (whether indulgers or social drinkers) so my choices are limited, actually they are non-existant! But I guess I will worry about that later, for now I am focused on staying sober ~whatever the cost!

My daughter told me last night that my son is going to move in with his dad. Guess he is still angry and hurt. I think about this all day until I fall asleep. I'm trying to figure out where my emotions are with this... I don't really feel sad, its more shame and guilt and a whole lot of regret. Maybe those emotions are masking my sadness, I don't know.

All I know is that I must stay sober, I must be patient, I must let time unfold the events of tomorrow, the next day and the next... I have to forgive myself even if no one else does. That sounds so selfish, is that selfish? thanks for letting me vent ...

DB

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

DB

This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm working on it 24/7. This evening I'm off out to see a blues-rock band. Ok there is a bar at the venue but I've been to see bands there several times without drinking so know it won't bother me. I also know once the music starts I'm just going to dance my little feet off. Tomorrow I'm going to go out walking in the countryside with my Mother - I live in a very beautiful part of England so it's really nice to be getting out again.

I'll be checking in later when I return from boogieing!

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

UK,
Your evening out sounds like so much fun! Its good you have already made the decision not to drink tonight. Be firm! I'm just wondering if the company you will keep tonight will be drinking? ... the environment we are in can have such an influence on the decision we make. But I know you are working 24/7 and you are right, it is hard work and you have shown you can do it!

Your walk with your Mom sounds like a great way to spend a Sunday! I am happy that you can share that with your Mom. Do check in when you get home, I will be waiting ... I'm off to do some boring chores and then probably a night of reading or a movie with my dog's as company... =0) England?? hmmm some day that would be a nice trip!

~DB
5 days Sober =0)

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

I'm back and in one piece. Came back before the end since my shoes were hurting my feet - it's a long time since I've been out, stood up in heels.

Yes I decided I wasn't going to drink and knew at the place I was going to I wouldn't have folk shoving AL my way. Spent most of the time on my own to be honest as my friend wasn't really interested, but I'm like that I'll just go!

I had a grapefruit and soda on arrival then a coffee during the break. Didn't want another drink as holding it would just get in the way of my boogieing.

I wouldn't recommend going out to a venue with a bar to others this early though. I've had a lot of practice at being sober over the years from a couple of days to 3 months once, and I know I can go out and be ok as long as I decide before I set off - no AL for me.

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

UK ~ if it weren't for your shoes hurting, you might still be out there rocking the night away!! It sounds like you sincerely enjoyed yourself! And you won over AL, even in AL's environment! Way to go UK!

I do have to ask, what is a grapefruit and soda? I envision grapefruit juice and soda mixed together, that sounds well ummmm, interesting?? ... The coffee sounds good though!

I admire your strength, I know for me, it would be far too early to put myself in that environment, I don't crave that enviroment, I just don't trust myself... but the good news is that one day I will!!

I went out to dinner tonight with my ex-husband and daughter, my ex ordered himself a margarita which I thought was inconsiderate. Oh I didn't want one, I just thought how hypocritical of him when he talks smack about my drinking when it is to his benefit. Anyway, I let him know how I felt, then I let it go. I just don't have time to hang on to anger anymore, so not worth it ~

Looks like me and my Allan Carr book for the rest of the evening.... Do enjoy your walk tomorrow with your mom, don't forget to check in =0)

DB
Day 4 (April 10, 2010)

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

DB

Yep it was finished at 11pm anyway so I didn't do too badly. Grapefruit and soda is just that - small bottle of Schweppes pink grapefruit juice in a tall glass topped up with ice and soda. Very refreshing with an edge so still feels like a grown up drink. When I was trying Campral I did find GF did make the internal side effects worse so just something to remember just incase.

I have lived with a partner who could drink just 1 or 2 glasses of wine with dinner and enjoy them, and I can remember times when I was trying for sobriety (and he wanted it too)that I really resented him having that alcohol. One New Year he whipped out a fantastic bottle of champers so he could have a nice glass. I could have killed him. So you have two options;

(1) Explain to him it's making you uncomfortable and ask him not drink around you.
(2) Shift your focus elsewhere since the more you resent him drinking the more you will drive yourself back to the bottle. Trust me it will build up.

[Snapdragon]

Can't get past 48 hours

Hi UK and Disco - well done to both of you - you are amazing and doing so well :goodjob:

DAY 3 for me - I spent the weekend at my partner's house (which really takes the temptation to drink away for me). He had booked tickets for us to go and see a David Bowie revival band (my teenage hero!) on Saturday night and I was really worried about the temptation to drink. When we got to the bar I quickly ordered a lime and soda (my favourite AF drink) before I could change my mind. I have to say the smell of alcohol around me was really hard to stomach. My partner ordered a juice too (I haven;t mentioned that I'm not drinking - but wonder if he has noticed - I said I was happy to drive home, but he said he didn't feel like anything stronger).

Disco - regarding your ex-husband drinking when you went out for a meal. I really don't think that people who have never had a drink problem understand what it is like. My partner has said on a few occasions - I don't understand why you can't just have a couple of drinks and stop (he can happily have one glass of wine or a beer and not need to have any more). We also watched a documentary about a guy who was dying of alcoholism (liver failure), but still sat at a bar drinking. My partner couldn't comprehend why he didn't just stop. I didn't say to him at the time, but I totally understood and only those who have a problem with alcohol can truly understand how the craving to drink goes beyond any sense of reality or sense full stop - people are literally dying to have their next drink.

Anyway - even though it's hard, I don't think I can expect everyone around me to change their habits (it's me who has the problem) so if my partner or son (who is 19) decide to have a beer with their meal then I suppose it would be unfair of me to ask them not to.

Still - onwards and upwards - tonight is going to be hard for me. I'm in my favourite drinking haunt - home alone - and this is my biggest trigger to drink. I can already feel the temptation creeping in. The little niggly 'just one glass of lovely cold white wine won't hurt' - I need to stamp on it NOW!

Best - Snap X

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

Hey UK & Snap ! ...

Okay so the grapefruit and soda does sound refreshing. As the hot summer months of Southern California approach, I will remember that (and keep an eye out for all the interactions of GF) I wonder why GP interacts with so many things? Strange fruit isn't it? ... Geez, now that my mind is not hazy all the time, I find myself thinking about strange things, like the life of a grapefruit!! funny!!

Thank you UK and Snap for the thoughts on being around a partner that drinks. I know I shouldn't control another persons drinking and I will let him know that I prefer him not to drink. You hit it right on target when you say that a person that does not have a problem with alcohol just does not get it! I have heard those very same words from my ex. Why can't you just have 1? Why can't you just stop? If they only knew the extent of the cravings, the way the cravings work and what it takes to fight back and win... how can my ex, or people who think that way, possible think that a person WANTS to do those things and feel that way? ... anyway, I am just venting, 5 days sober for me today and I guess my brain is getting back in touch with me =0)

Snap, stay online in the forum today. Have you tried the L-Glut? UK~ I found the powder form at Whole Foods, a little pricey but not nearly what AL has cost me... I have been some in my morning coffee as UK suggested (can't even taste it) I did try some in warm milk at night time, but that one was not so good (for me)! I also put a tsp under my tongue as so many have suggested. It didn't taste bad, it was dry being powder and of course stuck to my tongue and when I looked in the mirror I had white stuff all over my tongue and around my mouth! Comical? yes but you know what? It worked. I am also taking vitamins like crazy, most of what came with my MWO starter kit (that I ordered 2 years ago). But I would NOT go a day without my L-Glut!!

UK~ let us know about your walk, how is mom? Don't forget to check in later!

~DB
Day 5 Sober =0)

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

It's something to do with an enzyme I think, interferes with the way some medications break down.

Well had a great walk found an area mostly unspoilt and away from the madding crowds. My feet started to ache pretty soon - result of wearing silly shoes yesterday. Came home and feel asleep. That was when I had my first 'drunk' dream. I awoke convinced I'd lapsed but I know this is a sign I'm getting long-term sober.

I'm still having migraine episodes - had 2 visual disturbances today where I couldn't do anything for half an hour followed by a dull ache around the back of my head. Will ask my Dr this week.

Otherwise all ok and just trying to take things as they come, trying not to worry or project.

[DiscoBunnie]

Can't get past 48 hours

So glad you enjoyed your walk, that must have been refreshing and rejuvenating...

I've had drunk dreams before after a long period of AF days. I remember how panicked I would feel when I woke up and the relief that it was just a dream!

Do you have a history of migraines? Is this something new? I used to get some crazy headaches when I stopped drinking coffee cold turkey.

Today I just hung out around the house, got lots of domestic chores done and am now ready to face the work week ... but you know what I figured out??? I am day 6 TODAY not day 5!! I don't know where I lost a day, but that was kind of cool to discover!!

What are your plans for this week?

~DB
Day 6 sober (April 11, 2010)

[Guest]

Can't get past 48 hours

Well today is day 14..........yippee.

I've had migraines since a child they come and go but these days are usually just an aura(visual disturbance) followed by dull ache and fatigue/feeling washed out. I've been getting them as a result of drinking this last 3-4 months which was something new for me although I would still go through the usual hangover symptoms the migraine would generally occur 36-48 hours after my last drink. I've had 6 of these episodes in 2 weeks now and they are getting annoying - the visual stuff only lasts for around 30 mins so it's a matter of simply waiting til it passes. Will be asking the Dr about this but I suspect it's linked to the fact my CNS has had it's sedative removed and is trying to settle down.

I did post a thread asking for advice/experience from other migraine sufferers but no-one came forward with any help. Found that a bit strange really, there must be some migrain sufferers who are also having problems with AL.

Today I've been out for a 20 minute power walk and will be going to the gym weight training after my Drs appointment this afternoon. This evening I'll either work or study (I'm self-employed). Tomorrow I have my weekly meeting with my counsellor who is being amazing throughout this - she's been in touch every day with me since day one at her initiation and it seems to be making the difference I needed.

Keep going I found once I got to day 7 then day 10 the days just moved along so much more easily and much quicker.