This sucks

[changemylife]

This sucks

I stopped drinking and had a real good look at my life to determine that my marriage was really bad. I self medicated to tolerate my unhappiness.

Now, My marriage seems to be a trigger point. I am not making excuses. I just noticed that every time I drink, it is usually as a direct result of my marriage. Now that I recognize it, I can work on fighting it.

I used the term dysfunctional because I have discontinued regular drinking. It seems to be situational. I wanted so much to pick up a smoke but didn't.

[bkyogagurl]

This sucks

change~

Relationships that make you feel trapped can cause you to drink to escape for awhile. I know I did it.

I finally stood up and said no more. I was on the edge of an affair but my man I was talking with decided to bigger than the situation and helped me and my husband. Lucky him.

I don't know you situation but don't let someone control you so much that you feel you have to escape by drinking and I know this is easier said than done. Stay here and keep posting your feelings to us.

[August22]

This sucks

Cinders,
I am a newbee on here ,and have never posted before, but I have looked at what people are saying about there habits etc.... BUT you STRUCK a chord with me, saying something about your partner, which made me think that he was in control, he is the one that makes you drink??? Am I right? because that is the way it is for me.
He drinks, I drink, UNTIL, I decided after reading some posts THAT I WAS BETTER THAN THAT, So i have been AF for 14 days, just drinking low cal Cranberry juice to replace the wine, which tastes similar beleive you me.(I had been drinking 2 1/2 bottles per night of red wine)
Pease don't let relationships drag you down. I have been living with an alcholic for 30 years, It's TIME I turned my life around, and so should you, forget your partners habits and look out for yourself FOR ONCE.

[changemylife]

This sucks

This is my binge, and I will decide when I want to stop it...

Seriously, I have given up for now. I simply do not care right now. I have seen the best and the worst. In my situation, the best is simply unattainable. The worst is easy to get to. Right now, I am riding some where in the middle and I have a choice to make. Work toward the best knowing full well I will never be able to get there, settle for 2nd best and be miserable, or say fuck it and drown my life in a even more miserable bottle.

Such a fun decision to make.

[Guest]

This sucks

Or you can decide to take control, to stop drinking and have a decent life.

[greeneyes]

This sucks

changemylife;922770 wrote: This is my binge, and I will decide when I want to stop it....

exactly.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

This sucks

changemylife;922770 wrote: This is my binge, and I will decide when I want to stop it...

Seriously, I have given up for now. I simply do not care right now. I have seen the best and the worst. In my situation, the best is simply unattainable. The worst is easy to get to. Right now, I am riding some where in the middle and I have a choice to make. Work toward the best knowing full well I will never be able to get there, settle for 2nd best and be miserable, or say fuck it and drown my life in a even more miserable bottle.

Such a fun decision to make.

I think we have all been there Change, I so know I sure have, many times. Nobody is perfect, we are human beings and all have our flaws. It is unrealistic to expect otherwise. I know that when I am drinking heavily and daily it all becomes a bit of a blur, my thoughts become distorted and depression at the endless cycle becomes unbearable. The thoughts of stopping the madness are but a far away dream, totally unattainable in my foggy view of the world.
When I sobered up and gave my body and brain a chance I realised that it really is a different world sober and I love it.
Change, when you decided that you have had enough and put the bottle down, be kind to yourself, dont expect perfection or your life to change overnight, it just isnt like that. But there really is no comparison. I wish you luck and strength.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Cinders]

This sucks

Change,

I copy this from a post by Sheri. Perhaps it will let you look at things a bit differently?

JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I?ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

We all understand and we all have Junkie Thinking.

Cindi

[AMELIA]

This sucks

Hey Cinders (and Sheri), thanks for re-posting that. Great to read through those points.
Hope that helps you in some way Change.
All the best
Amelia

[Cinders]

This sucks

Hi back at you Amelia!!

It is always good to see you on here and many congratulations on your 30 day chip!!

Love,
Cindi

[Ringing Cedars]

This sucks

Ukblonde;923057 wrote: Or you can decide to take control, to stop drinking and have a decent life.

To the point UK and I think that's all. The world may not be all that different sober but the ability to manage it and make clear headed decisions will be, without a doubt. That control in itself makes life better.

I wish you all the right avenues to make your journey lighter Changemylife. :l

[aussie13]

This sucks

Hi I am wondering is there anyone on-line to talk to?

[Pink Angel]

This sucks

I am here. Chat?

[Done]

This sucks

Are there any people online?

[Done]

This sucks

I slipped up last night. Drank again. Why is it so dam hard to just let go of the stuff. It`s not like I enjoy it anyway.