This sucks

[changemylife]

Wow, I am in bad shape.

I drank a 12 pack last night to forget. Just did it. I havent done that in a long time. I am miserable and cant seem to get a grip lately.

It all has to do with my current relationship situation. Without getting into specifics... I am angry, torn, confused, and miserable. I dont know what to do with myself.

It just doesnt seem fair. I feel like I need to seek some help this time. I cant do it on my own. There is no one to talk too. Maybe a therapist can help me get through some of these problems.

I feel like rock bottom is quickly approaching.

[DeeBee]

This sucks

Hiya Change.
Sorry to hear about your relationship issues. I can relate to how they lead us to drink. Recently DH and I also went through a nasty patch and I went to see a marriage Councillor. I've really benefited from the advise she's given me on HOW to communicate my feelings and emotions so that they are understood by my DH and therefore don't lead to either him ignoring me or me angry.
Do what ever you think will help you to get back on track.
Hang in there:-)

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

This sucks

Hi Change, sorry to hear you are struggling, we have all been there. Today is a new day and you can choose to face this head on, drinking really doesnt help. I know only too well that our problems are still there when we wake up the next morning feeling like death warmed up. The thing about hitting bottom is that the only way is up. Maybe seeking some counselling would be a good idea, it can help to get a different perspective sometimes. Look after yourself.

[changemylife]

This sucks

things are getting a little better. i domt feel as bad as i did. I keep telling myself that i am going to get help and get better.

[greeneyes]

This sucks

change, I'm glad you are feeling better. Just wondering....what is your plan? Do you want to be AF or mod?

[Guest]

This sucks

Sorry you are feeling like this. I think I've resigned myself to being single and avoiding relationships until I can be stable and truly long-term AF. I've found relationships just cause so much strife for me in my mind it can make me want to drink even more.

[DiscoBunnie]

This sucks

Hi Change,
I'm glad you are feeing better. I know that feeling of not knowing what to do with yourself, and the guilt and dark feeling after a night of drinking. Let alone the headache and stomachache. I'm glad you are seeking therapy. I really really hope you can continue to feel better, to remember not to beat yourself up too much. Its difficult not having anyone to talk too because you hang on to everything and it just builds up inside ~ an alcohol bomb waiting for us give in to that first taste of alcohol on our lips.. you are in my thoughts Change...

DB

[changemylife]

This sucks

Thank You, The anxiety is in and out., Damn I lost the phone number for the therapist I got about 2 years ago. Now I need to call and get it again. I am not sure if the anxiety is from withdrawal or just my current heartache. Man, I feel like a pussy.

[fragileflower]

This sucks

changemylife,

You're not alone. I am starting over again too. The anxiety you're feeling is from the alcohol. It's physical and mental. Take care of yourself....hang it there. We WILL feel better.

fragileflower

[Cinders]

This sucks

Ukblonde;832939 wrote: Sorry you are feeling like this. I think I've resigned myself to being single and avoiding relationships until I can be stable and truly long-term AF. I've found relationships just cause so much strife for me in my mind it can make me want to drink even more.

UK,

I hope you read this.

I know you have been here as long as I have and have fought a hugely valiant fight againt this addiction. I have read, watched, been happy and then sad. You have really tried.

Just like I have.

But, it really doesn't matter what relationship you are in. Actually, I am reviewing my 34 almost 35 year relationship.

My daughter said to me, "Mom, your job can't make things worse. Quit it if you must."

I know she did not mean my relationship with my husband, but that is where I am. He stresses and then holds my feet to the fire. He doesn't understand what he is doing. I know.

I love him from the depths of my heart.

But, If I continue to love him and let him do this, will I continue to drink, or is that an excuse??"

I do not know.

I love him a lot. He is my "best friend." and I do not have many.

But he wants me "straight." No ifs ands or buts.

I can't perform anymore, friends. I y'am what I y'am. If you know what I mean.

He is what he is.

Sorry I digressed. Just thinking about life in general.

Love,
Cindi

[changemylife]

This sucks

Wow, when did my post count jump up to 452? My mind is all over the place, I feel like I have the attention span of a goldfish.

[changemylife]

This sucks

fragileflower;833493 wrote: changemylife,

You're not alone. I am starting over again too. The anxiety you're feeling is from the alcohol. It's physical and mental. Take care of yourself....hang it there. We WILL feel better.

fragileflower

Yes, We always do feel better. :thanks: one friggin night, I have had other nights of excess drinking but this one was just to numb the pain. That for me separates it form others. If I drinking on vacation with friends and we have a good time, things are fine the next day. It's all a mind Fuc*

[changemylife]

This sucks

I swear my entire problems revolve around my relationship. I am back at ground zero with this. I am dealing with the after affects of a weeknd of drinking. Started with a relationship problem... The Big D came up. I am now just going through withdrawal and need some help.

Anxiety, wish I had some thing to ease it.

[changemylife]

This sucks

Seems to be a pattern for me. Had another drinking episode yesterday right after having a blow out with her and talking about divorce again.

I am starting to think that much of my dysfunctional drinking is a result of my horrible marriage.

[mario]

This sucks

changemylife;910046 wrote: Seems to be a pattern for me. Had another drinking episode yesterday right after having a blow out with her and talking about divorce again.

I am starting to think that much of my dysfunctional drinking is a result of my horrible marriage.

changemylife without being smart here, but your dysfunctional drinking is from your dysfunctional drinking, stop drinking and then have a good look at your life,it will be a lot more clearer then, for both of you.