Will I ever get out of this prison?

[Willow Fairy]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

I won?t give up on you!

Hi Snapdragon it?s me Willow Fairy. I sent you a message long ago but I did?nt hear back (doesn?t matter) I won?t give up on you. I read your thread and those are all the feelings I have had for so long. I could not pass the 5 days thing you see because with all of the ?I?m sick of this feeling, I hate myself, everybody around me disgusted with me? feelings I?ve been through with this bloody addiction it was not strong enough to keep me from hitting it once again on a Friday night.
I just want to say to you have my support even if it?s telepathically I will think of you and send you support and positive vibes. Look, for the first time in 11 years I managed to do 3 months AF and so after that I was thinking YAHHOOOO! pat myself on the back and hey I deserve to have a couple glasses of wine on the beach with some friends to celebrate, NO? Exactly, NO! Ended up in a pile of human wreckage in front of my lovely 10 year old daughter and my husband and whoever else was at the beach that day. Nice Eh?! Yaaaa real nice!! Not. So after all of that hard work and feeling great for 3 months I ended it in one afternoon. Took me a week to stop feeling like I wish I could kill myself and felt like a gega looser asshole of the universe (excuse the french).
I just want you to know that you are not alone and we all stand tall and we all fall but tomorrow is a new day.

I send you a Huge hug and all of the positive energy that is in my being. You are good and gentle and a wonderful spirit inside that vehicle we call a body.
I support you.
Willow Fairy

[ChickenNumber3]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

Snap!
Keep your chin up!
Chook

[Snapdragon]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

Hey Willow

It's great to hear from you - and so sorry if I didn't reply - I don't know how that happened. Well done that you managed 3 months - that is an amazing achievement and despite your final fall still something to be proud off.

This is a huge struggle, I managed three days and then fell again

However, I'm going to try not to beat myself up too much. In the last couple of weeks I have more AF days than I've had in years - I just need to keep stringing more and more together until the bad bits in between disappear.

The fantastic thing about this site is all of you great people - we all understand and help each other and one day - well one day I hope to be one of the ones saying 'If I can do it - so can you! !!

:l to you Willow

Love Snap X

Willow Fairy;836197 wrote: Hi Snapdragon it?s me Willow Fairy. I sent you a message long ago but I did?nt hear back (doesn?t matter) I won?t give up on you. I read your thread and those are all the feelings I have had for so long. I could not pass the 5 days thing you see because with all of the ?I?m sick of this feeling, I hate myself, everybody around me disgusted with me? feelings I?ve been through with this bloody addiction it was not strong enough to keep me from hitting it once again on a Friday night.
I just want to say to you have my support even if it?s telepathically I will think of you and send you support and positive vibes. Look, for the first time in 11 years I managed to do 3 months AF and so after that I was thinking YAHHOOOO! pat myself on the back and hey I deserve to have a couple glasses of wine on the beach with some friends to celebrate, NO? Exactly, NO! Ended up in a pile of human wreckage in front of my lovely 10 year old daughter and my husband and whoever else was at the beach that day. Nice Eh?! Yaaaa real nice!! Not. So after all of that hard work and feeling great for 3 months I ended it in one afternoon. Took me a week to stop feeling like I wish I could kill myself and felt like a gega looser asshole of the universe (excuse the french).
I just want you to know that you are not alone and we all stand tall and we all fall but tomorrow is a new day.

I send you a Huge hug and all of the positive energy that is in my being. You are good and gentle and a wonderful spirit inside that vehicle we call a body.
I support you.
Willow Fairy

[Guest]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

Snap two 1/2 weeks ago I thought I couldn't manage more than 48 hours, had tried everything in the past thought I could never beat this and now I'm 18 days sober. You have to change things somehow in yourself and it's not easy. I'm working on it daily, hourly and sometimes half-hourly.

You will get there when you do everyone is here for you.

[Montana Mommy]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

I can totally relate to the feelings of hopelessness! You can do this!! You will do this. I love the idea of being on "parole" from AL. Thats great. I tried antabuse and drank on it. It isn't something to mess with, its very serious. Really scary for the people I was around.

[Guest]

Will I ever get out of this prison?

MM

That's why I won't go on AB. Ok tried it years ago and had some kind of wierd reaction and that was without drink, but I know I'd drink on it. I don't want to be reliant on meds either. I was reliant on AL binges and I don't want to replace that with another thing. I know I need to do this with my head.