Please encourage me...

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

Someone

You do really sound like someone who cannot moderate - ok today you only had 1 glass but here's the thing. That one glass might not lead you to get drunk today but it might do so tomorrow or next week. Sounds crazy but it's the way a lot fall down and I've actually had the physiology of it all explained to me - that one drink not only lulls you into a false sense of security but it also reawakens the addicted neurons in your brain thus setting yourself up for cravings in the future.

From what you describe it sounds like you are in denial and you are right where I have been many, many times. In fact I went through a phase at the beginning of this year thinking I could drink a couple of nights a week or with meals like anyone else. Truth was that within 2 weeks I was right back doing what I always did.

One question I have for you is what exactly did you get from having that 1 glass of port?

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

Well, by the time I decided I wanted the port, I had already had a bottle of wine, and I felt like I still didn't have enough of a buzz...not good. But I thought I had had two glasses, turned out I hadn't consumed the second one. So it was only slightly less bad than I thought!

I have heard that, about having just one drink successfully can lead to problems down the road. I guess I didn't really believe it, but I think I had better take it seriously. Thanks for the reminder.

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

Hang on here just 1 minute - from your post I thought you meant you had managed just one glass of AL, in this case port then poured the remainder back...................ahem then you say you actually have drunk a bottle of wine then the 1 glass of port and you poured a 2nd one.

Unless you are titrating due to dependency issues it sounds as if you are playing a dangerous game. Pouring 1 glass back in this scenario isn't good as you still had to get to the point of being drunk (ok you probably weren't feeling drunk but technically you would have been "over the limit").

Well done you didn't go any further anyway but I'm really very concerned for you now. Also when I asked you what you get from it I meant "Does it improve your life?Make you feel amazing?relax you?" i.e. is there any benefit to you of having a drink?

Apologies if I've come over as nagging and harsh I'm just trying to help!Really.

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

I guess I should have clarified that earlier post. The first post, I said I had a bottle of wine and then two glasses of port, then this morning I realized it was only one glass...but still! Yes, you are right, it's a bad situation.

Sorry, didn't mean to dodge your question, and no, you're not nagging and harsh. To answer your question, I guess my twisted thinking is, it helps me relax and deal with stress, frustration, boredom, etc. But it is not appropriate to drink at home like I've been doing. Especially with the faulty "off" switch I seem to have.

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

Does it actually deal with the stress etc?

Reason I'm asking is that I find/use AL to escape from uncomfortable feelings - such as stress or anger. Trouble is the reason for those feelings is still there when I sober up and in fact sometimes even worse because I've been off drinking. For instance when I've had to cancel work due to [drinking] 'illness' etc it's annoyed customers or meant I don't earn for a few days/weeks. So when I am sober again I'm stressed even more. Also find I'm not very good at dealing with things when I'm drinking and for days afterwards - I feel as if I'm all over the place.

Just a thought for you.

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

It's weird how even though I know it doesn't really help, I have resorted to it. Yes, it makes everything worse. It can be a vicious cycle. But I am determined to break it.

Congratulations on your week-plus of sobriety.

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

Thanks, it's not easy but I'm feeling a lot better.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, I've actually been craving this evening and some of the stuff I've typed has helped me a lot - in thinking about how AL might affect others it's brought it back to me and reinforced some stuff, like why I don't want to drink any more.

This forum is proving to be a good thing for me, when I've been craving I've just come on here and read and posted. It's stopped me going out the door to the off-licence more than once.

Anyway keep at it you'll find a way and keep reading/posting etc.

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

Hi,

Hijacking my thread? No worries...glad it's helping you, too. Does hijacking a thread mean kind of redirecting it? I'm not very experienced with these things. I think I have done it, too

I have some other questions, think I'll start another one.

Hang in there...

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

Well, I got though Day 1!

And I have realized that I can't reliably stop at a reasonable amount. So for the most part, I just don't want to start.

I have grown tired of the afternoon self-medicating thing I was doing. Afternoon into the evening adding up to way too much. Creating so much more anxiety, depression and stress than I thought I was relieving.

I still have that thought of, "maybe once in a while, one or two socially would be ok," and I'm probably wrong, but it's kind of keeping me going in a weird way. And like a lot of people have said, the only time that really matters is today, this moment, and what we choose to do with it.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and support.

Best...
:thanks:

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

Good one! :goodjob:

For now try and forget that "once in a while" thought it has no bearing on you today because you aren't going to drink today, so no point letting that thought hang around.

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

Thanks!

I know, hanging on to that thought is not constructive. Actually Sunshine just posted something this morning (the title is Ack!) that kind of hits the nail on the head. After months of sobriety she thought she'd try it again, and it is weird how a successful social drinking situation, sticking to one drink, can change your thinking and lead to trouble again. I've been there before, and thinking I won't end up there again is probably not realistic.

Have a good day (well, evening in your case) - it's morning here

[sick of being sick]

Please encourage me...

Someone else, you will find plenty of support and encouragement here, so the most important thing is to stay here! Congratulations on your decision to quit drinking! Go to the forum "Just starting out" and read "You Can Do This". I hope it will encourage you. We love you and are therre for you!

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

someone-else

PLEASE listen:
My husband is DIVORCING me because I could not stop drinking.
I have lost my entire life, a beautiful home, step children, my husband's love and respect.

Please do not let this happen to you, my heart is broken and I am a wreck. STOP DRINKING!

easy to say, not so easy to do, so sad.........good luck! Learn from the mistakes!

[someone_else]

Please encourage me...

Oceanaocean,

I am so sorry this is happening to you!! I am working on it. Thank you for the wake-up call.

Hugs...

[Guest]

Please encourage me...

(Someone.......so sorry. I was reading ocean's post and hijacked your thread. I apologize!) You are in the right place for help and understanding! Make your decision, you won't regret not drinking. I can't think of a time I thought...wow I regret not drinking!

Ocean,
I feel so sorry for the pain you are going through.

There are probably many of us here who have gone through something very similar to what you are living right now.

I can tell you from personal experience, the worst thing you can do now is drink. It will compound the problem a hundred fold!!!

I even tried to commit suicide, drinking, while going through a divorce. It warped my thinking completely. I made myself a deep, deep hole to climb out of!

This is going to be a choice you make. Get help if you need too. Do whatever you need to do now to take care of you. Life is going to go on. I know at this moment it doesn't feel like it, but the sun is going to come up tomorrow and the next day, and on and on.

You need to grieve, cry your eyes out, go through it. But you also need your wits about you to get on with your life. If you drink, you are just making the grief worse and adding to it. When you eventually will have to sober up, all that grief will still be waiting for you to live through. We bury it in alcohol, but it doesn't go away.You have to go through it to get to the other side.

Keep coming back. Look for help here, you have some where to go with your feelings. We understand. We want you to avoid some of the pain you could be causing yourself.

Please Take Care!! lease: