Someone help me please

[mspryss69]

Hello Everyone,

I have been a member on here for a while, but I have just been lurking around. When I joined this site I had the full intention on giving up drinking. I even started taking vivitrol injections which was a miracle that my insurance pays for, but I just can't stop drinking. I want to so bad and I just can't get a grip. I know that drinking is not good for me & my body. I am starting to see changes in myself that shouldn't be happening in a 29y/o. I have been diagnosed with Beri-Beri (thiamine deficiency) syndrome which my physician tells me is common in alcoholics, slight sexual dysfunction (can't really tell if it's me or I just don't want to be bothered with my BF anymore) and im also starting to notice some menstrual irregularities. I want children really bad and I know I have to stop drinking to achieve that and thats what I use to try & make myself stop, but it's just not working. In addition to takim the monthly vivitrol I also take kudzu but only when i'm hungover. I hate feeling the way I do after an all night binge. My body is sore my organs in my stomach hurt and as im laying there in pain I say im not gonna do this again, but then 2 days later im back at it. I've gone to AA but that just made me more depressed and when I left out of there I took advantage of the convience of the liquor store across the street. My physician has prescibed me many anti depressants but im afraid to take them because I don't want to drink with them and even though I haven't ever had one im scared that I may have a seizure if I do one of them is known to cause seizures) but she tells me the medication may help with the cravings. I feel like just pulling my hair out I really really want to stop but I feel like I have no control. I can admit I like the way the alcohol makes me feel. I feel that I can say or do anything I want just completely uninhibited which ultimately leads me to doing things I regret in the morning if I remember them. Im just tired of it all but to weak to stop. Have any of you ever felt this way and if so how did you get on the right track? I look at all the positive things thats going on in my life but it seems thats not enough. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post but I have been holding all this in for so long and I just need to let it out. Please help :boohoo:

[rubywillow]

Someone help me please

M69, this is a big thing. Don't know where to start, but to tell you you have people here to help you. YES, this is a problem. WE need to work on getting you help, and I'm off now to gather all the stuff I can to give you. Stay with us. Your cry is heard, and if you TRULY want to change, there are SO many beautiful, strong, experienced people here to help you. I'll be back in a minute, so don't leave, OK? You are with friends who care, and you deserve a good life, the life God intended for you. :hug: to you. I'll round up all I can and be back.
Ruby

[mama bear]

Someone help me please

Welcome, Ms Pryss...my husband calls me that
come join us in the Newbies Nest and you will get lots of support.....I bought the MyWayOut book, ordered al the supplements, and got started back in February. I am not AF (alcohol free) yet...but really working on it.....
Perhaps you should take the anti depressants....I take them and they help with your mood....but al can diminish their effect...
have you considered rehab??

[mspryss69]

Someone help me please

rubywillow;843161 wrote: M69, this is a big thing. Don't know where to start, but to tell you you have people here to help you. YES, this is a problem. WE need to work on getting you help, and I'm off now to gather all the stuff I can to give you. Stay with us. Your cry is heard, and if you TRULY want to change, there are SO many beautiful, strong, experienced people here to help you. I'll be back in a minute, so don't leave, OK? You are with friends who care, and you deserve a good life, the life God intended for you. :hug: to you. I'll round up all I can and be back.
Ruby

Thank you Ruby I will be right here

[rubywillow]

Someone help me please

OK, Pryss, MB is a GREAT friend to have here. Do as she said, go to the Newbies Nest, in just getting started, and ask for help. You WILL be answered. Then check out the Tool Box in Monthly abstinance. This is not a place of judgement, but a place you can find the help you need. There are no faces, no speeches no rituals, just support. When you're ready, join MB and me with the others on the 'The Jorney Starts Here............' thread in General discussion. You are most welcome everywhere, tho sometimes it takes a while to et a response. Do you know how to PM? Click on the name of the person you want to send a private message to, you'll get a choice, and PM me anytime. We don't 'live' here, so it may take a while till you get a reply, but you are important. You are special. Someone will step up and touch your heart in a way that makes you want to respond and start a relationship. I'm here for you, as is Mama Bear. Remember you are important, and we are here for you.

[mspryss69]

Someone help me please

mama bear;843162 wrote: Welcome, Ms Pryss...my husband calls me that
come join us in the Newbies Nest and you will get lots of support.....I bought the MyWayOut book, ordered al the supplements, and got started back in February. I am not AF (alcohol free) yet...but really working on it.....
Perhaps you should take the anti depressants....I take them and they help with your mood....but al can diminish their effect...
have you considered rehab??

Yes I have thought about inpatient rehab but I cannot afford it. I am a self employed private duty nurse and when I don't work , I don't get paid. I am also a full time student. My semester will be ending in a few weeks and I was thinking about starting back counseling and attending more AA meetings seeing that someof my time will be freed up. I was trying to order some of the supplements from MWO but the online store was not working the other night. I really do want to start the antidepressants, but im just so scared of the reactions. So far I have been 48hrs AF but thats usually my maximum which im finding to be another problem

[mspryss69]

Someone help me please

rubywillow;843168 wrote: OK, Pryss, MB is a GREAT friend to have here. Do as she said, go to the Newbies Nest, in just getting started, and ask for help. You WILL be answered. Then check out the Tool Box in Monthly abstinance. This is not a place of judgement, but a place you can find the help you need. There are no faces, no speeches no rituals, just support. When you're ready, join MB and me with the others on the 'The Jorney Starts Here............' thread in General discussion. You are most welcome everywhere, tho sometimes it takes a while to et a response. Do you know how to PM? Click on the name of the person you want to send a private message to, you'll get a choice, and PM me anytime. We don't 'live' here, so it may take a while till you get a reply, but you are important. You are special. Someone will step up and touch your heart in a way that makes you want to respond and start a relationship. I'm here for you, as is Mama Bear. Remember you are important, and we are here for you.

Thank you both, do I need to move my post to that section? I was gonna check out the live chat & see who was around. I really want to get control over this and get on the right track. Im tired of living this way, and I have robbed myself of the last 4 years of my 20's. There are so many more things I want out of life but it's not going to happen with this hurdle in front of me :upset:

[rubywillow]

Someone help me please

BTW, I know it took a lot of courage to post here. Use that courage and look around this site. Have you read 'Tell Us Your Story' yet? The heartbreak there brings us into reality. The hardest part is finding our place here, getting comfortable, but I will help you, and know this: I jumped in to the WORST possible place, spilled my guts, but was so kindly redirected. I joined conversations among obvious friends, and though it took me time I finally made my niche. Again, PM me, let me help you, let US help you, if you truly want to be free of this demon. Hugs to you, hon. I really know what it feels like. You are welcome here.

[sunshinedaisies]

Someone help me please

Welcome Mspryss - you have come to a wonderful place here - I am not sure I can do or say anything more than the two wonderful people here have already said - but I will say welcome to you. I feel that by going 48 hours AF, you went further than I did when I first got here - I couldn't even do that!! I am also on antidepressants - Celexa - and have never had any trouble with AL and taking them. Please do start taking them - they take a while to kick in, so they might help. Also the book and the supplements give one hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it isn't a train - can't remember who said that but I love it!!). I take Topa (talked about in the book), which I know mama Bear didn't get on with but has helped me enormously - there are lots of ways to beat the demon AL. Just coming here to this site is a really good start - read lots of posts, come back frequently, PM anyone if you think they might be able to help you, I have yet to find anyone who minded me PMing them. They really are a great bunch here and have very broad shoulders and really strong arms! Again welcome - hang in there,

Sunshine XX

[Guest]

Someone help me please

mspryss69;843155 wrote: Hello Everyone,

I have been a member on here for a while, but I have just been lurking around. When I joined this site I had the full intention on giving up drinking. I even started taking vivitrol injections which was a miracle that my insurance pays for, but I just can't stop drinking. I want to so bad and I just can't get a grip. I know that drinking is not good for me & my body. I am starting to see changes in myself that shouldn't be happening in a 29y/o. I have been diagnosed with Beri-Beri (thiamine deficiency) syndrome which my physician tells me is common in alcoholics, slight sexual dysfunction (can't really tell if it's me or I just don't want to be bothered with my BF anymore) and im also starting to notice some menstrual irregularities. I want children really bad and I know I have to stop drinking to achieve that and thats what I use to try & make myself stop, but it's just not working. In addition to takim the monthly vivitrol I also take kudzu but only when i'm hungover. I hate feeling the way I do after an all night binge. My body is sore my organs in my stomach hurt and as im laying there in pain I say im not gonna do this again, but then 2 days later im back at it. I've gone to AA but that just made me more depressed and when I left out of there I took advantage of the convience of the liquor store across the street. My physician has prescibed me many anti depressants but im afraid to take them because I don't want to drink with them and even though I haven't ever had one im scared that I may have a seizure if I do one of them is known to cause seizures) but she tells me the medication may help with the cravings. I feel like just pulling my hair out I really really want to stop but I feel like I have no control. I can admit I like the way the alcohol makes me feel. I feel that I can say or do anything I want just completely uninhibited which ultimately leads me to doing things I regret in the morning if I remember them. Im just tired of it all but to weak to stop. Have any of you ever felt this way and if so how did you get on the right track? I look at all the positive things thats going on in my life but it seems thats not enough. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post but I have been holding all this in for so long and I just need to let it out. Please help :boohoo:

Mspryss69
I was in the same situation as you are. I also felt too weak to stop. I started taking baclofen (as suggested by my DR) and I have achieved amazing results. I have gone without any alcohol for about 2,5 months and have no desire to ever drink again. Many others have achieved this result on baclofen. I would suggest doing some reading on baclofen and see if it is something you are willing to take. BTW, I drank while on anti depressants, it did not not effect me negatively, but also did not curb any cravings. Baclofen on the other hand, eliminated all my cravings.

[Doggygirl]

Someone help me please

It sounds from reading your posts that you may still not be sure if you really want to quit drinking. It sounds like you know it's damaging your health, but that you still like getting drunk. (or buzzed or whatever you like to call it - the liquid social bravery thing)

I struggled mightily with these conflicting emotions. I was not able to have any sort of success getting AL out of my life for good until I made a firm decision that I wanted to stop drinking - period. That didn't make the task easy, but it made stopping possible.

My suggestion would be to spend some time really thinking about this. Do you REALLY want to stop? Are you willing to give up what you see as the "positives" of drinking in order to eliminate the negative consequences?

If you think that suggestion makes sense, there are some tools out there that can help you really take stock of things and the role AL is playing in your life both plus and minus. In AA, this is the first step. But since you have decided AA is not for you, I would also suggest taking a look at the Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) that is part of the SMART Recovery program.

Just lurking here on the MWO forum doesn't seem to be working. If you want to stop drinking, I believe you will have to make a firm plan and take action. AL is a formidable enemy and stopping probably won't "just happen". Have you read the My Way Out book and tried the full program?

Once you choose a program to follow, the support here can really help you stick to your plan.

Strength and hope to you - If I can, you can too.

DG

[mspryss69]

Someone help me please

Doggygirl;843474 wrote: It sounds from reading your posts that you may still not be sure if you really want to quit drinking. It sounds like you know it's damaging your health, but that you still like getting drunk. (or buzzed or whatever you like to call it - the liquid social bravery thing)

I struggled mightily with these conflicting emotions. I was not able to have any sort of success getting AL out of my life for good until I made a firm decision that I wanted to stop drinking - period. That didn't make the task easy, but it made stopping possible.

My suggestion would be to spend some time really thinking about this. Do you REALLY want to stop? Are you willing to give up what you see as the "positives" of drinking in order to eliminate the negative consequences?

If you think that suggestion makes sense, there are some tools out there that can help you really take stock of things and the role AL is playing in your life both plus and minus. In AA, this is the first step. But since you have decided AA is not for you, I would also suggest taking a look at the Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) that is part of the SMART Recovery program.

Just lurking here on the MWO forum doesn't seem to be working. If you want to stop drinking, I believe you will have to make a firm plan and take action. AL is a formidable enemy and stopping probably won't "just happen". Have you read the My Way Out book and tried the full program?

Once you choose a program to follow, the support here can really help you stick to your plan.

Strength and hope to you - If I can, you can too.

DG

As I stated I have been lurking and never said anything but now that I honestly know that I am ready to stop drinking I have come out. There is NOTHING positive about my drinking I never said that there was. There is nothing positive about the way it makes me feel because it makes me do things that I regret ! The only thing I can do is take things one day at a time thats my plan as well as prayer. So far as of tomorrow this will be 1 week total AF for me that has not happened since last year when I was on antibiotics and couldn't mix the alcohol with them. Now theres nothing to deter me im doing this on my own for no reasons at all but me wanting to get my life back. The program im going to follow is the one that God shows me. whatever form he gives it to me im gonna take it. It dosen't have to be a book, forum, AA It can be just plain FAITH! and posting here has helped me a little. I was able to let out some things that have been pinned up inside of me for a long time which I think is a major part of my problem. I know it's not gonna be easy & things aren't gonna change overnight, but as long as I keep a POSITIVE attitude and stay focused I feel that I can do this.

[dizilizid]

Someone help me please

I feel the exact same way. The way you describe yourself, it's exactly like me. That's exactly how i am. I also just want help.

[Brave Hearted]

Someone help me please

Hi M69, my heart goes out to you , most of us have been in your position and it a tough one, but you have taken the biggest and bravest step and asked for help. Like hoping I too take baclofen which has had amazing result for me and many others. Some people dismiss meds off hand which is personal choice. But my experience and view is that we are suffereing from a disease not a lack of will or character and baclofen really does work and help I cannot sing its praises enough if has saved/transformed my life. I wish I had found a site like this when I was your age as I have screwed my head and life up because of al, but I am turning it around now ( with the help of baclofen and my amazing friends here). I have made a pledge to tell people about baclofen as a lot of people are still unaware of it. You have made such a good decision coming here there are so many great people who will help and support you here . The good thing about baclofen is that its a fairly inexpensive drug which you can order online and self administrate ( we are struggling to get doctors to acknowledge its benefits) and there is loads of advice on here about doseage side effects etc.

But if you decide meds are not for you, then there is lots of other help and advice avaialbe, keep coming on reading listenening and learning and I am sure you will find something that works for you.

Diz, the same goes for you we are all here to help and remember never give up giving up , there is a solution out there. Godd luck to you both.

Regards BH x

[mspryss69]

Someone help me please

sorry it's been a while you guys but some really F'd up things have been going on. I am on baclofen but for the spasm in my back can anyone tell me what dosage made their cravings reduce or stop. I have the 10mg ones and I read in my nursing book that the most one should take a day is 40mg so im confused. Some input would be great