Need help for my brother - please read

[KateH1]

Need help for my brother - please read

Susanna,
I have read through this thread and it sounds like you are trying to bail a sinking ocean liner with a bucket! Your brother may be stubborn, and strong willed, but he is displaying the behavior of a serious addict in severe trouble. You might call all the trips to the ER etc. relapses, but it sounds like he is very much in the disease of alcoholism and in seriouse need of intervention of a different sort. Perhaps rehab or some sort of medical intervention.

Enabling an addict is never the way for them to achieve sobriety. In fact, enabling is a serious mistake. I hope that you will consider some alternatives to your brothers care. And, by the way, this is not an "AA based lecture", it is simply the truth.


Best of Luck to you both!
Kate

[susanna]

Need help for my brother - please read

KateH1;846368 wrote: Susanna,
I have read through this thread and it sounds like you are trying to bail a sinking ocean liner with a bucket! Your brother may be stubborn, and strong willed, but he is displaying the behavior of a serious addict in severe trouble. You might call all the trips to the ER etc. relapses, but it sounds like he is very much in the disease of alcoholism and in seriouse need of intervention of a different sort. Perhaps rehab or some sort of medical intervention.

Enabling an addict is never the way for them to achieve sobriety. In fact, enabling is a serious mistake. I hope that you will consider some alternatives to your brothers care. And, by the way, this is not an "AA based lecture", it is simply the truth.


Best of Luck to you both!
Kate

Hi Kate - I've done the route you suggest - he's done rehabs and all kinds of forms of treatment- medical, psychological, pharmaceutical. I know about the enabling gig - - I am not sure if you mean that by sticking around with him on this relapse is enabling? We all know he is a serious addict - even he's not in denial about that.

I've had lots and lots and lots of addiction counseling/Alanon/etc as it's a family trait (dad, uncles). It runs deep across both sides of our family. We just buried an uncle last June who is an outcome of the tough love route and his kids giving up on him.

I know you've got a lot of experience - as many/most here do. I am seeking approaches that have not been tried before because believe we, family, Paul have tried every option so far.

thanks for your best wishes too!

[Guest]

Need help for my brother - please read

I tried every option too over many years and spending a lot of time and money. In the end I simply had to admit my denial, stop looking for the magical answer and simply stop. At various points I did require medication for this but right at the end I had managed to taper off even though it was uncomfortable.

What I'm trying to say is not compare cases but that avoiding the point and looking for a 'medical' answer will not get him fixed - looking for the magic solution only prolonged my suffering and ensued even worse consequences. If I could do it again I'd probably not use private treatment and would have let myself go through all the sh*t so I could get to my getting off point sooner. Yes Drs can revoke licences but not seeing one can maintain the opinion he is a danger since he can appear to not be trying to stop. A gamble yes but hiding makes everything only worse.