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    #1

    again?!?

    I first posted this in the newbies nest but then thought it probably should go in this thread:

    Hi everyone,

    Sounds like most of you are doing well...good for you. I'm not. I had 7 beers yesterday. I was just going to have a couple but then bought a six pack and even though they didn't taste good, kept drinking - didn't want to lose the buzz. I am so tired of dragging myself down into this hole. And the funny thing was, it wasn't necessarily al that I was craving initially, just wanting to feel better and being frustrated that my regular antidepressant wasn't doing enough. Should have just gone home and meditated or something. I had 2 days af and this one wasn't quite as bad as the last one but I still feel awful and guilty and it's insane. Sorry to be a downer. You guys are probably sick of hearing this - why don't I just get it together? Why do I keep doing the same thing expecting a different result? Crazy. Thanks for letting me vent AGAIN.
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    #2
    again?!?

    Some one,
    We have all been there - you are not the first. The positive is that you came back here and you are not giving up. Are you trying to do this on willpower? I am sorry, I do not know your history. No one judges here and no one gives up on anyone either! Stay strong

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      #3
      again?!?

      Thats always the way it went for me too someone_else. Since I commited myself to logon ad post to this site daily I'm able to stay AF. It really does help to lean on others and glean ideas on how they maintain sobriety. The tool link has many great suggestions too. Best of luck and God bless!
      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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        #4
        again?!?

        Some one!

        I have been here for quite awhile now! There are others who came at the same time as me and thereafter...they are now AF! I am both proud of them and envious,but more proud and hopeful than anything else! Cause it gives ME hope for me, in my own little piece of this puzzle! I am nothing more than a functioning segment to the whole, ( but, to my near & dear-including me),I am an 'essential piece of the puzzle',so it comes to pass!
        So, even though I am not AF..I am fully aware that the 'times I am sobe',are attributable to the Nest!
        I honour you Nesters! In the only way I know how!
        Chook

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          #5
          again?!?

          Thank you, kind people. I guess it's mostly willpower at this point. I have tried the recommended supps and the cds and I guess they help a little, but not enough. I got kind of burned out on taking all that stuff, and it is hard to find the time to listen to the cds consistently. Now I'm trying another type of guided meditation cd series that is supposed to help with addictions, anxiety and depression, but it hasn't quite worked yet, although I feel like I'm getting closer to the point where they say results are supposed to happen - achieving a state of "body asleep, mind awake" and having fewer thoughts racing through the mind. I do that for about an hour when I wake up and I"m starting to do the sleep learning one again. Maybe if I don't feel any different in the next week or so I'll try baclofen. I've been hesitant to ask my doctor because I really can't do the rehab program he will probaby suggest because of child care issues, and I've tried it twice anyway and it didn't take, I guess. Maybe I should let go of the idea of moderation - it just seems overwhelming. I have made up my mind that I should never drink during the day though - that's the time I get into trouble, just thinking I'll have a beer with lunch.

          Thanks again for your understanding, it means so much.

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            #6
            again?!?

            Some one,
            I highly reccommend Baclofen, because of it I have been AF for over 3 months. If you find the thought of never drinking again to be overwhelming (which I sure did), dont try to look at the long term, just look at the short term. Once on baclofen, those types of decisions will be easier to make. I would also let your doctor know that you have gone to rehab and it didnt work - time to try soemthing new - baclofen!
            Keep in touch and keep posting your thoughts good and bad, it helps to have people who understand and care.

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              #7
              again?!?

              thank you!

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                #8
                again?!?

                someone, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Because it is how I am feeling too! I tried the program but I too got tired of taking so many pills. I even ordered the BAC. But somehow I convinced myself that I didn't need to do all that. Now I am right back in it. But this is Day 1 AF and I am determined! I find that moderating just takes you back to the same place. I don't even realize that I am headed down the road for a bender until the next day and then I self-medicate with beer and off we go again. Very, very discouraging. But this is Day one and I don't see why there can't be a Day Two!

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                  #9
                  again?!?

                  Prancy, thanks for sharing - it's good to know we're not alone in this. It's so depressing, isn't it? I really had high hopes for this program and learning to moderate. But not everyone can. It's so weird. Let's support each other...Day 1.

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                    #10
                    again?!?

                    YES. Let's support each other. It is a tough journey because it seems like most things revolve around drinking. But I too am tired of pulling myself down into this hole. I tried to moderate. No good. So now I am forced to realize that it has to be abstinent! My first goal is 30 days. You on?

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                      #11
                      again?!?

                      I still feel overwhelmed by the thought of "never again" but I should be able to do 30. Every time I try to mod I end up in the same space so...ok!

                      Thanks...

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                        #12
                        again?!?

                        again?!?

                        Hi Someone, Prancy, Road to Recovery and Chicken,

                        Someone....I just have to tell you that we all have been where you and we are here for you!. Road to Recovery is right with the Baclofen. It has helped a lot of people!

                        I ordered it and even though I have been on NAL for 2 weeks and my drinking has decreased by 1/2, the customer service rep. at River Pharmacy said I can take Bac at the same time and I plan to start this weekend.

                        If you need extra encouragement, go to the Meds section and look for the thread started by Londonsw16 titled UK-Observer newspaper Dr. Ameisen...the article about Dr. A and Bac. is so inspiring.

                        Chin up...we're all in this journey together. I was at wits end before I started taking NAL.

                        Sending all of you good thoughts!!

                        Rusty

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                          #13
                          again?!?

                          thanks all...your kindness is so helpful

                          Thank you Rusty!

                          I think I will give myself one more week with the meditation cds that are supposed to help with addiction, and if I have problems again I'll get some bac and see what happens. We'll see...

                          EquiSync - The root and cure for anxiety, depression, and addiction.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            again?!?

                            Someone....whatever it takes, I'm in your corner, my friend!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              again?!?

                              Thanks! They say meditation is the best thing for addiction. I'm hopeful.

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