in a state

[grangelady]

in a state

Hi Girly
Just wanted to say I'm sorry you had a really bad day with the pain of your back, depression and feeling down about your weight, but this morning you seem brighter in your thoughts and sound more positive.
I have decided to take the 'bull my the horns' again today and start out a fresh in my efforts to reduce the amount of wine I drink. I drink a bottle every day and hate myself for doing so...I'm 4 stone over weight and know deep down that wine is the major cause of my weight issue, I can say no to crisps, chocolate, in fact any 'naughty/bad' foods but saying no to wine is the hardest thing ever.
Anyway just want to let you know you're not alone in your struggle we're all the same here, so ramble away love...get it off your chest xxx:l

[mollyka]

in a state

Girly, I am so sorry I missed this whole thread yesterday, only happened on it now. You poor thing, you feel utterly miserable don't you. Sometimes things can just overwhelm you can't they? You sound more positive this morning and yes, I agree with UKB, the one variable in all this that you can change is the booze. It DOESN'T help anything, it just hides and camoflages all the crap and rubbish that are still there when we sober up.
Have a duvet day, lots of water, crap tele and come back tomorrow and you'll be back feeling so much stronger
Thinking of you
Molly x:l

[mollyka]

in a state

Just reading back over your previous posts Girly, your weight seems to be a biggish issue to you. For what its worth, my weight is falling off since I gave up the booze, I now weigh the same as I did when I got married 32 years ago - I haven't tried to loose weight its just the empty booze calories are all gone - maybe that might be another little incentive to you to shoot the 'bugger' out of your life?
Molly

[girly wirly]

in a state

molly, uk, i know deep down my weigh IS a huge cause of my depression, it's a huge reason towards my alcoholism. i even have a bypassed stomach to the tune of ?11,000 and i'm still fat.

you know, these mums in the yard don't say anything to me, they are probably not even judging me. or looking at me. it's all my own shite. i feel guilty for not working, see i've always been a grafter.

i feel better. been to asda and got a few healthy bits in that i thought i might like. i've just eaten, just some soup, but it's enabled me to take plenty meds.

gonna knit a few lines then maybe have a little nap. my darling sister, who i couldnt live without, is doing the school run for me so i'm safe today.

you lot are lush, you know!:h

[girly wirly]

in a state

look what one too many posted for me on the other thread. truly inspiring, what a gal!
Girly,

Al is a wily bastard, he is like a jailer, wants to keep us in the horrible pit we have dug for ourselves over the years, keep us there and feed us his poison, fool us into thinking that he is taking care of us, blotting out the bad shite and making us feel good.

He is a liar, tell him to F*** Off....
Tell him you are reclaiming your life.
Tell him you are ready to make that climb back out of the pit, you may stumble on the sides, sometimes feel like you will never reach the top....but look upwards...see all the hands reaching out to you...grab hold honey, we are here and we are strong.

Day one today Girly and you have the strength of an army behind you..let's fight xx

I think this says it better than I ever could..

Donkey in the Well

There once was a little donkey that worked on a very large farm. This donkey was a very hard worker, and was very much appreciated by his master who knew he could count on him do any manner of odd jobs and farm duties.

One day while hard at work, this donkey fell into a deep pit that the farmer had been digging to use as a well. The donkey cried and cried, and the farmer frantically tried to figure out a way to get the donkey out of the deep hole. However the sides were just too unstable to lower someone down with a rope to tie around the donkey, and as the donkey was panicky and thrashing about, the farmer had the additional concern of one of his farm hands being injured and stuck down the hole too.

Finally, with a heavy heart, the farmer decided it was best to bury the donkey and put it out of its misery. So he and several of his farm hands started shoveling dirt back into the pit.

However, after a few minutes of shoveling, the farmer noticed something. The donkey was shaking off the dirt and stomping it into the ground below him. As it dawned on the farmer what was happening, he called the rest of his farm hands to help shovel, and shovel-full after shovel-full of dirt, the donkey stomped it into the ground making the hole shallower by the minute. Soon the well became nearly filled with dirt and the donkey climbed out to the great relief of the farmer and his workers.

The story of the donkey in the well is timeless, and has circulated the internet more than I can even count. Its message is enduring, for many of us, too, have found ourselves stuck in a situation where we just didn?t know how we?d get through. The metaphorical dirt was poured over our heads, and we either got buried by our problems with no hope of rescue, or we shook the dirt from us and pounded it into the ground to rise victorious.

We always have the choice to be victim or victor. So next time it feels as if you are in that well with no chance of being freed, think of the little donkey who refused to accept that his circumstances were beyond his control; he didn?t give up and he didn?t give in, and you don?t have to either!
__________________

[prancy]

in a state

wow. That IS inspirational. Girly, with the support of the fantastic folks on this site, I know you can dig out. prancy

[mama bear]

in a state

Girly I am sorry I missed your posts yesterday and I ache for you
I too had gastric bypass and 40% of us turn into alcholics...in fact I have a tummy roll i didnt have a year ago.....
I hope your doctor is able to help you and you have already found out we are here for you!!

[not tonight]

in a state

Girly I have been thinking about you all day. Chronic pain can undermine everything. Have you tried any homeopathic treatments for your back, like acupuncture. You have a great deal on your plate, more than most. But don't over look the fact that you are succeeding in big areas in your life. Your are a wonderful mother and your daughters are a credit to you. Although you have had to take time off from work due to your back, you are good at your job. You can beat this thing, the beast! We are all in this together.

[girly wirly]

in a state

not tonight;868353 wrote: Girly I have been thinking about you all day. Chronic pain can undermine everything. Have you tried any homeopathic treatments for your back, like acupuncture. You have a great deal on your plate, more than most. But don't over look the fact that you are succeeding in big areas in your life. Your are a wonderful mother and your daughters are a credit to you. Although you have had to take time off from work due to your back, you are good at your job. You can beat this thing, the beast! We are all in this together.

hi nt

thanks for the lovely post, i've tried everything with my back, you name it. the only thing that gives relief is morphine. never mind, hopefully next week i'll be nearer to some answers. how you doing nt?

[Guest]

in a state

I obviously can't imagine the pain you are in but I do know when I was still drinking, as well as when I initiall stopped I was experiencing a lot of joint pain and muscular stiffness. Now I was told some years back by a Sports Therapist that AL dehydrates your joints, not to mention acts as a short term painkiller which you rebound from when you aren't drinking.

For the first month of AF I was still feeling very achy and was assuming it was my age. Well combined with getting fitter and stronger I've now found my aches and pains have almost disappeared completely.

I'm just 'normal' person with a few old injury niggles but I'm sure if I feel a difference it must make a difference for anyone else.

Just a thought and of course the point about joints is a good one.

[not tonight]

in a state

girly wirly;868726 wrote: hi nt

thanks for the lovely post, i've tried everything with my back, you name it. the only thing that gives relief is morphine. never mind, hopefully next week i'll be nearer to some answers. how you doing nt?

Hi girly,
I am fine. Had to go to an exhibition last night, where one of our projects was included, however the image used had been cropped, and rendered our project meaningless. So angry, had to keep it together and not dive into the free bar. Not the end of the world, but still, grrrrrr.

I hope your doctor is able to provide you with some relief next week. The grey clouds have to clear soon.

[prancy]

in a state

ukblonde,
I had the same experience. After drinking bouts, I would find that my back and joints just ached. I went to doctors, chiropracters, you name it, because one leg got quite bad. The longer I go AF, the better the joints and back get. Something to think about, girly. Every little bit helps. It might not get rid of the pain, but it might make it better.

[girly wirly]

in a state

thanks uk and prancy, you're right, every little helps.

nt, well done for staying strong at that free bar. its awful when someone belittles or dismisses something we have worked hard on. xx

[girly wirly]

in a state

ok, i've managed to make it this time. one day al free. not that the day is over, it's 1:30 am here, but al is out of reach and i have no desire for it.

im going to bed soon, i have already been, had an hours sleep and a bit of a bad dream, so i got back up to come on here.

tomorrow i can take my antabuse again, gonna make sure its 36 hrs after last al. no screwing about this time. my sister offered to give me it every morning, but i think it's best i say no. any future unwillingness on my part might result in us arguing and i don't want that. i love my big sis.

thanks for riding this shit out with me x:l

[techie]

in a state

Katie is doing better. Girly you sound very good too. I'm happy. I'm sober. Goodnight all!!!