Hi Girly. I hope you decide to be honest with your doctor and also fully engage your husband in the truth of what you are going through from the addiction to the depression / anxiety. I agree with everyone who is encouraging "take the help." This IS life and death. Your children need you. There is only so much an internet community can do. Many of us also need face to face local support (I know I do) to get and stay sober. There is nothing wrong with that. You might find "coming clean" with your doctor will be cathartic. I hope you decide to take that chance.
DG
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