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**mama bear** · June 25, 2010, 08:08 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

Girly...are you seeing a therapist?????
I am worried sick about you?

**girly wirly** · June 25, 2010, 08:13 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

i only had one 250m tablet on tuesday morning. on thursday night, after id only drank just a can of lager my hands and feet swelled, i went the colour of a tomato all over my body, especially my face, palms and soles of my feet. i couldnt breathe and was having to take huge gulps of air. this lasted for about an hour. i drank through it. i shudder to think what the symptoms would be like if i'd been taking it for long periods.

youre right johnny, i need to look at a different route in order to stay safe. im so self destructive anyway that to stay on this path is, like you say, dangerous. i took my photo on my i phone of my face which i may post up if i find the courage

**girly wirly** · June 25, 2010, 08:14 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

mama bear;894784 wrote: Girly...are you seeing a therapist?????
I am worried sick about you?

been to see one today, i have a six to eight week waiting list before i can begin therapy.

**johnnyh** · June 25, 2010, 08:22 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

Thanks for sharing that Girly.

You're right. Antabuse actually increases greatly in its effect over time. With the severity of your reaction, had you taken it for a week every day you would have had an even more severe reaction, potentially life threatening if this situation wasn't allready.

The fact that you decided to drink through it does make me worried. I honestly think you need to reconsider taking the Antabuse. It's the first time I have told someone this as I believe it to be a great drug for myself. But the whole idea is that the idea of the reaction alone keeps you from drinking. If you are willing to drink on the drug, taking it is pointless aside from being incredibly dangerous.

You'll find a way Stirly. You will. This might require the help of someone professional. Remember you took the Antabuse without medical supervision as well. Your doctor knowing your full medical background, etc. might not have prescribed it in first place. We won't know.

Otherwise take the Antabuse everyday and make a commitment not to kill yourself (i.e. not drink on it). But it sounds a gamble to me.

**johnnyh** · June 25, 2010, 08:23 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

girly wirly;894797 wrote: been to see one today, i have a six to eight week waiting list before i can begin therapy.

Did you tell the therapist about the Antabuse? If, how did the therapist feel about you taking them?

**girly wirly** · June 25, 2010, 08:28 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

johnnyh;894805 wrote: Did you tell the therapist about the Antabuse? If, how did the therapist feel about you taking them?

no i didnt have the courage, but i did tell him how dangerously i've been behaving. i think im gonna throw away the antabuse and look at other options. x

**mama bear** · June 25, 2010, 08:38 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

that's total bullshit that a person in crisis has to wait 6 weeks......can you try any other way to get immediate help????
THROW THE ANTABUSE AWAY...or better yet send it to someone that cannot afford it and needs it....
JohnnyH could probably use it....

**one2many** · June 25, 2010, 08:39 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

Surely they offered you therapy after the overdose?

**johnnyh** · June 25, 2010, 08:42 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

That is bullshit indeed. well said mama.

Just try as hard as you can to stay AF for now though Girly. The Antabuse will be in your system still for the next couple of days and be causing havoc if you drink on them. give it at least 7 days from the day you first took it. It should have cleared out of your system if it was just one. You can't be sure.

I don't want to encourage you not to drink eagerly awaiting Tuesday to do so. I'm just saying please be aware of the ongoing dangers of drinking on Antabuse while in your system. And it still is in your system.

**mama bear** · June 25, 2010, 08:42 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

one would think......
oney...the ass cracks me up every time I see it

**one2many** · June 25, 2010, 09:01 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

You Drank through it??? Girly, you really need serious help....you are going to kill yourself...sorry to sound so blunt but this self destruction has been going on too long. Next time you may not be so lucky.
And as for not telling the therapist bout drinking on the Antabuse??? You either want help or you do not....
I cannot understand how someone would have to wait six to eight weeks for therapy when they are in your situation.

**girly wirly** · June 25, 2010, 09:09 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

one2many;894836 wrote: You Drank through it??? Girly, you really need serious help....you are going to kill yourself...sorry to sound so blunt but this self destruction has been going on too long. Next time you may not be so lucky.
And as for not telling the therapist bout drinking on the Antabuse??? You either want help or you do not....
I cannot understand how someone would have to wait six to eight weeks for therapy when they are in your situation.

no oney but i told him i was doing incredibly dangerous things like drinking with morphine and that i continuously put myself in near fatal situations by drinking on "all sorts of medications". i asked for help with that first and foremost. i do want help, truly. thats why i am seeing the gp, awaiting the therapy, awaiting a call back from a drug and alcohol team, seeking help here on mwo, cut back alcohol dramatically from what i was drinking and my husband has removed the morphine from the house. i am doing all i can to stay safe ang get well but i cannot do it alone. no more meds and alcohol mixing. i know i sound like a stuck record sometimes and that i don't want to help myself, but i do and i'm taking steps to do that, but my addiction and mental health keeps tripping me up. with the help of this site i'll keep fighting!

**johnnyh** · June 25, 2010, 09:12 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

I really can't believe they're not helping you earlier Girly. That is really upsetting.

**girly wirly** · June 25, 2010, 09:14 AM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

johnnyh;894839 wrote: I really can't believe they're not helping you earlier Girly. That is really upsetting.

good old NHS!

**K9Lover** · June 25, 2010, 03:21 PM

hi all i need to pour my heart out....

Girly,
Prior to taking the Antabuse, did you do some serious research about it? Armed with the proper knowlege of side effects SHOULD be enough to scare anyone wanting to live to not even dabble with alcohol while on it. I am normally the type of person that has to learn things the hard way, but with the information I learned about Antabuse, there was no way in HELL I would experiment on it. I wouldn't even use mouthwash, and I still can't bring myself to use astringent on my face. It no joke. Please get rid of the Antabuse, you are obviously not in a position to be taking it right now. I do not mean to sound harsh here, but it is nothing to mess around with. If you are not 100% committed to being alcohol free, then you have no business even having it.
I am sending love and positive thoughts your way.
K9

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