Advice needed please

[mayday]

Hi All, I have just started my alcohol free journey (in the last 4 weeks) ..and am having a major panic attack..have actually been going really well (apart from the odd hiccup),

But have my daughters 21st in a couple of days, of which we are hosting the party at our home. I am not unfamiliar with hosting parties..come summer we love to have lots of BBQ's with friends and family!
But... have been out today to get the alcohol (boxes and boxes of it) and I purposefully left it until the last minute to do this so I wouldn't be tempted, but am now panicking big time...that I wont be able to cope and will ditch all the hard work and drink like a fish on the night!
Any advice gratefully recieved, especially anyone who has found themselves in a similar situation...I have stocked up on my favourite non alcoholic drink and am trying to plan it but am feeling abit overwhelmed that I won't cope :thanks: in advance for any advice:l

[Doggygirl]

Advice needed please

Congratulations on your sobriety! Sobriety is not only a gift to us but a gift to our loved ones as well.

It is so important to have a very specific plan for situations like this. And that plan MUST include an exit strategy, in my opinion and experience.

This is where honesty really comes in handy. Have you been able to be honest about your problem and your need to get sober with your 21 year old and any other close family members who will be there? If your daughter has been affected negatively by your drinking, then I hope it is possible she would be supportive of your need to have a plan to leave the party if you have to.

I was at an AA meeting just the other day where a mother who is hosting a graduation party this coming weekend talked about how they now have alcohol free parties in there home, and that's that. Her children and husband support that effort.

Can you get the support you need to have an exit strategy should you need to use it?

DG

[greeneyes]

Advice needed please

Hi mayday!

I guess it's good to be aware of the risks, but try to stay in the present. No sense being in a panic over something that hasn't happened, right? So right now, tonight. You are not drinking. Hang on to that and calm down while you figure out a plan. Stay away from "What if I drink" and focus on "This is how I am going to avoid drinking and do so successfully." And now is when you start making your plan. You can get in the frame of mind by using the two I refer to almost daily...

What is your sobriety plan and toolbox. Hang on and I'll bump them for you.

Read them and then ask questions you may have here and people will pop in to help you out.

[mayday]

Advice needed please

Hi Doggygirl and greeneyes,

No I haven't told my 21 yr old or the family,

am just feeling so overwhelmed at the moment I cannot handle a disclosure...
I take on board what you say green eyes re the keep calm, while I figure out a plan...good advice!!
Doggy girl..I think that is the key..an exit stratergy,...just have to figure out what it will be

thanks muchly

[jessie]

Advice needed please

Hi Mayday, you might consider Antabuse for situations like that. Do all the necessary research about Antabuse. I keep some handy for those tempting situations and will not hesitate to take one if the little voice gets persistent, it just removes the temptation totally.

[Guest]

Advice needed please

If you do go ahead make sure you remove ALL AL from the house afterwards.

[mayday]

Advice needed please

Hi All, thanks for the great advice, I feel much calmer today (thankfully!), after a good nights sleep and still sober
Yes Sheri I plan to take your advice, I have looked at the guest list again and have decided to align myself with the non drinkers or the very light drinkers!! The guests are mainly family, aunts, uncles cousins and very close friends (only a few of her university student pals!) so there will not be any serving of minors and certainly no drink driving issues, we have lots of mattresses and rooms for those who might become compromised, however we haven't had too much of a problem in the past so don't anticipate it will be an issue.

I know I can do this I am just lacking in the experience of doing it...and the stratergies to use,...many thanks again,

[Flip Top]

Advice needed please

I have made this mistake before - bbq's infact I ruined my GF's 30th. Drank to blackout - Its not worth it you will just beat yourself up and the next day feel awful...