If I didn't have such an inability to cope with things, I wouldn't be a drinker. I opened my diary from 1980-1981 this past weekend, I was 17-18 years old. Today I'm 47, I turn 48 in a week.
My diary was filled with stories of partying, I used with abandon the word 'drugs' I think to be tough! Or maybe that's just how we spoke in those days - it was pot, which in those days, was pretty weak from what I hear, I can't tolerate it now. Partying (wine, beer, more beer) and boys, my various part time jobs (Hardware Store, Department Store, Waitressing), and school, and my fat thighs, and being unable to attract the boys I liked... And partys, and partys, and partys.
One page says "could I be a part time alcoholic?"
Yessiree! What shocks me now is that my parents didn't see it. Okay, they both worked and there were 5 kids, but still! Three kids at home at the time of the diary. And I was coming home drunk, puking in the toilet at 2am, drunk driving, stealing beers and wine from the fridge, etc.
Spent Sat morning after reading 1980 crying ... I haven't come very far in my life except 30 more years of work, and drinking. I don't have much else under my belt unless you count my beer belly, always an attractive asset for anyone.
As depressing as my drinking is my financial situation. I earn a good living but I'm in the housing depression in San Diego, bought the house for $600K, it's now worth $300K and that's what I owe.
Last, my job is stressing me out (I've hated the industry I'm in my whole career and attempted to ditch it many times) and I can't find a new one in this economy. My boss disses me in front of people and I'm his top sales person.
I had it out with him last week, he wants to know why at the top, they complain about us sales people, and I told him it's HIM, he makes us look bad. The other managers don't mock their own people in front of their internal clients. What a fool.
Sunday I read 1981 and it was better, I was growing up, I lost my virginity too.
Late bloomer. I feel like I found my voice, my teen voice, a friend who was lost, a part of me who has been lost and drown. I'm going to keep reading next week and see what else I can find out about her. Maybe I can springboard from that space and time again, in a new and better direction.
My diary was filled with stories of partying, I used with abandon the word 'drugs' I think to be tough! Or maybe that's just how we spoke in those days - it was pot, which in those days, was pretty weak from what I hear, I can't tolerate it now. Partying (wine, beer, more beer) and boys, my various part time jobs (Hardware Store, Department Store, Waitressing), and school, and my fat thighs, and being unable to attract the boys I liked... And partys, and partys, and partys.
One page says "could I be a part time alcoholic?"
Yessiree! What shocks me now is that my parents didn't see it. Okay, they both worked and there were 5 kids, but still! Three kids at home at the time of the diary. And I was coming home drunk, puking in the toilet at 2am, drunk driving, stealing beers and wine from the fridge, etc.
Spent Sat morning after reading 1980 crying ... I haven't come very far in my life except 30 more years of work, and drinking. I don't have much else under my belt unless you count my beer belly, always an attractive asset for anyone.
As depressing as my drinking is my financial situation. I earn a good living but I'm in the housing depression in San Diego, bought the house for $600K, it's now worth $300K and that's what I owe.
Last, my job is stressing me out (I've hated the industry I'm in my whole career and attempted to ditch it many times) and I can't find a new one in this economy. My boss disses me in front of people and I'm his top sales person.
I had it out with him last week, he wants to know why at the top, they complain about us sales people, and I told him it's HIM, he makes us look bad. The other managers don't mock their own people in front of their internal clients. What a fool.
Sunday I read 1981 and it was better, I was growing up, I lost my virginity too.
Late bloomer. I feel like I found my voice, my teen voice, a friend who was lost, a part of me who has been lost and drown. I'm going to keep reading next week and see what else I can find out about her. Maybe I can springboard from that space and time again, in a new and better direction.
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