Me again

[Pink Angel]

Yes its me again. The one who doesnt learn. The one who does a week af and feels so good she drinks again. The one who has called in sick twice in a week due to a hangover.
The one who has ulcers in her mouth, tears running down my face, cold and depressed.
Im never going to learn am I.
Well I am just too good at doing what i shouldnt. Im good at making myself ill. My sons deserve a better mummy. Wish I could be her. Wish i didnt drink, wish i was at work like all the normal people.
I really and truely do not know why I am typing this as i have no questions or answers, just feelings. Feelings that dont go away.
So there it is. :upset:

[Ringing Cedars]

Me again

Pink:l:l:l

I just posted in the just starting out thread. I commend you for sharing!! I am too damn prideful to do that. I was 22 days af and caved. You are not alone. MOST of us here are struggling just like you.

Glad you don't have any questions cuz I don't have any answers. But I will walk with you and support you when you need it. We can't give up!! :h

[tlrgs]

Me again

well pinky you are learning ..it shows because you came back and you say..you have no answers ...but you do .. look deep within yourself girl .. nothing ever happens over night ..there are no magic pills to heal this addiction ... but you coming here and posting shows you want change and you want to keep on trying .. so just keep doing your best ..everytime you think you fail well you really dont and gets you even closer to understanding why you drink .. so think write it all down and you will find your way out .. it all but takes one day at a time ...

[Guitarista]

Me again

Hi Pink,

What he said.
Hang in there friend. And I reckon you'd be a great mum. Keep working on your thinking. You can do it.

[Rusty]

Me again

Pink,

Don't beat yourself up....do you know how many times I've fallen down and people here have scraped me up off the floor after yet-another-relapse? Oh, LOTS. Like RC said, I have "caved" too. Why? Hell I don't know. We are all here to support you!

Tirgs, RC and Guitarista are all right. Write down how you're feeling....why you want to quit and how much better you feel when you are AF.

You're being brave, so I think I will since I haven't told anyone at MWO this before....not even the people closest to me here....so here goes:

You mentioned ulcers in your mouth. Interesting that you would bring that up. When I binge drank about 1 1/2 years ago....my disgusted mum said to me, "I guess it just doesn't HURT enough for you to quit, does it?" Well, finally it DID hurt enough, and I mean god-awful. In May of this year, I had 3 nights of severe stomach pains that kept me awake all night and I thought to myself, "I have stomach ulcers....I must....nothing hurts like this." My aunt died of bleeding stomach ulcers due to alcoholism at the age of 54, and at 49, I could see myself ending up the same way. Then, I knew, it was time.

Keep reading, keep posting, and keep trying, Pink. Some days, I've had to be on this site ALL day because I needed it....but it's working.

We will help you along the way.

[Pink Angel]

Me again

Thank you Rusty and all of you for your love and encouragement. I am joining techie on a 30 day AF challenge. I will be accountable and with gods help i am going to do it.

[Jewels83]

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Hang in there Angel.....I too feel like everyone is normal and carries on perfect lives. But the truth is we all have different issues to deal with. At work the other day, on break, a few people were talking about a guy who's face is always red and dry, saying he had a drinking problem......I always thought he had some kind of skin problem but they disagreed with me. Anyways, what I'm getting at is these people who seem normal usually aren't. If you live in the USA, I read that 15% of the population has an alcohol problem....so next time you're in a room of 15-20 people thinking that you are the only one...think again....there is at the very least, one or two people dealing with the same problem....

xxx

[Miss Behaving]

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Hi Pink,

thinking of you. And your post alerted me to Techie's challenge - thanks.

hang in there :l

[gent251]

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stay strong pink...id like to join u on the 30days.

[Ringing Cedars]

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Hey Gent--get over in the Just Starting Out section and toss in your hat! )

[mayday]

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Hang in there Pink, you have had a tough time,.. but you've already come so far.
Your honesty and sharing helps us all and so many others, probably more than you'll ever know,
Are you able to get some meds for your mouth ulcers? that will make you feel like crap, you poor old thing,...Fluoradix is a good vitamen all round tonic (available in NZ) if not Vitamen C (Ester C will be kinder to your stomach)

Hang in there girl...we have a 30 day challenge to do, x

[patrice]

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Hi Pink
Your honesty is inspiring...
You are doing your best..
Ester C is great as is Rescue Remedy..
Ka Kite
Patrice

[Flip Top]

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Vit B complex is very good for ulcers to

[Wonka]

Me again

Hi Pink,

Don't beat yourself up...at least you see this as a problem...and you know that you are better AF. Keep trying....and I am sure you are a great mom!!

Hang in there....we have all been there with you .... and we are with you now for support,

Wonka

[jodiex]

Me again

i know how you feel Pink, i "CAVED " after 10 days, im back on day 3 now,ive spent the last 2 days lurking around this site reading and posting, we are all in this together so i need you as much as you need me.