Back but scared and tired

[Di]

After 14 years clean & sober I've been drinking for the last 4 years and 11 months. I discovered this site in March of 2008; entered a rehab. (stayed only 5 days) and managed to get 1 1/2 months AF. Unfortunately, since that time I've been drinking heavily. I've managed to maintain my job, and recently split from a toxic relationship. I am now living along in an extremely small community (1,400 pop, max). I had a heart-to-heart with my doctor Friday and he's encouraging me to cut back if not stop altogether. I remembered this forum and would greatly welcome some encouragement. Thanks & be well. Last drink was last night (1 1/2 bottles of wine).

[Rusty-576]

Back but scared and tired

Welcome to our home here Di.....I am so glad you have decieded to move forward with your journey of becoming sober...many of us are in chat in the evening and do support each other along this hard and rewarding road..hope to see you there!!.....Rusty

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Back but scared and tired

Hello Di and welcome back. As you know this is a great place and can really make a difference. Hope to see you around, you can do this.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Di]

Back but scared and tired

Thanks so much to both of you. Right now I'm just reading posts and trying to relax.

[havefaith]

Back but scared and tired

Hi Di,
I'm just curious what you were doing to stay sober for 14 years? (that is quite an accomplishment!)
Maybe you just need to go back to what worked for you in the past. Anyways, I'm glad your here!

[Doggygirl]

Back but scared and tired

Hi Di and welcome back. When I first got sober I used the MWO program "by the book" with the exception of Topomax (or any other prescription drug). Have you considered doing that to get the benefits of nutritional support, etc.?

I appreciate you being brave enough to share that you were sober for so long and relapsed. It is a message that all of us need to hear - that this is a one day at a time journey no matter how much sober time we have under our belts.

They say this disease (or whatever you like to call it) is progressive and that it always gets worse and never better even with sober time in between. I don't want to ever forget that. You have achieved sobriety before and I know you can do it again.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[Di]

Back but scared and tired

Thanks so much, DG. I will purchase the book (next paycheck). I read the excerpt on line, and will check with my doc about the supplements and maybe the Topo. I surely want to feel "normal" again. Thanks again. Diana:thanks:

[Lavande]

Back but scared and tired

Hello & welcome back Di!

This is a good place, I won't leave it myself!
When you can swing the $$, look into purchasing the CDs......they really helped me a lot. I had forgotten how to relax without 20 glasses of wine in my system.

Looking forward to getting to know you.
Best wishes,

Lav

[witchywoman]

Back but scared and tired

Welcome home DI
14 years AF is an achievement to be proud of, something I wish I had under my belt, The thing is you know you can do it, let us help you get started on the first step!
in love & light
Witchy

[sunshinedaisies]

Back but scared and tired

Welcome back Di! I think yours is a post that we all need on our fridge!! 14 years is incredible! I agree with Havefaith - what did you do for 14 years to stay stopped - we all need to know! also - for you too - to get back to that place and manage to do it again. The book is really good - some here use meds to stop (i am one of them - I use Topa), others use AA, others just manage to go it alone (well, not alone - here is SO supportive). Whichever way you choose - we are all here to help and offer support. WELCOME BACK.

hugs, Sun xx

[Peacefull]

Back but scared and tired

Hi Di,

I can really relate to your post.

I can't wait for the days when AL does not even cross my mind....

Keep coming back this site is a great support.
Peace

[sunshinedaisies]

Back but scared and tired

Will there EVER be a day when AL does not cross our minds??????

[toughintexas]

Back but scared and tired

Di, I too am sooooo impressed with your 14yrs! How did you do it? I'm starting over again too, today is day 1 again. Let's try really hard! Glad you are here, everytime I get away from this site, I falter you'd think I'd get it.....lol....

[Doggygirl]

Back but scared and tired

sunshinedaisies;954912 wrote: Will there EVER be a day when AL does not cross our minds??????

It crosses my mind daily but that's because I post here and go to AA. I do NOT have urges daily where I think about actually drinking, or wish I could drink safely, etc. I'm OK with it and I love my life today. You can get there too.

Welcome back TIT. I have to stay on my plan and my tools EVERY day. If I miss checking in here or going to AA for more than a couple of days, my lack of connection and grounding to my sober life starts to show. I will feel myself getting edgy over things I'm peaceful about nowadays. Stuff like that. Eventually that progression of being more and more unsettled would probably lead me to drink.

I'm OK checking in here and going to an AA meeting. I have friends in both places, so it's a pleasure. And it's FAR less time than I used to waste drinking, wondering what I did the night before, cleaning up my messes, nursing hangovers, feeling remorseful and down on myself, etc. MUCH better way to leave keeping my sobriety tools close at hand.

You can do it too! Just figure out what will work for you and be willing to go to whatever lengths it takes. Set pride aside.

DG

[Dewdrop]

Back but scared and tired

Hello Di,

Just wondering how you are getting on?? You have done so well in the past I'm sure that you will get back on board again. Best wishes,

Dewdrop