Well I fucked up

[gyco]

Well I fucked up

k9 hi,this is the test,did u f up,is it a mistake,or was it,compulsive behaviuor,al inadequisy hahaha,i have to joke cause ive been doin this stop start thing so long,you are special cause youve tried to change,as long as u realise not to go back to the OLD,ways,gettin a grip,you have it in your grasp.total sobriety or wahtever,if i were totally abstaining maybe my thots would be different ,dont put your self down,pik your self up and try try again gyco

[Dewdrop]

Well I fucked up

Aaawww K9,

Please don't beat yourself up over this you truly are an inspiration to so many on these threads and no less so because of a slip up. There is a huge amount of love and compassion winging it's way to you from all around the world. Embrace that kindness and hold on to the knowledge that not one person here is in anyway critical or disapproving - we all understand.

I'm thinking of you and hope you check back in soon.

Love

Dewdrop :h

[sunshinedaisies]

Well I fucked up

K9 - I went 221 days then drank. I know exactly how you are feeling. I didn't stop then though. I have been drinking for a few weeks. I finally stopped yesterday - Yesterday was day 1 for me again. I think we have PM'd and you were so supportive for me. Please check in with us. When I saw that you had had a drink I thought Gosh - K9 had a drink - then realised that I had actually gone longer than you which amazed me - start again now - you can do it - you know you can. We can both do it. I had to laugh re the cat though.

Hang in there - you will overcome this. you helped me - can I help you?

hugs, Sun xx

[RV434]

Well I fucked up

Hi K9Lover,

Don't beat yourself up. I'm going to quote from a Hazelden publication on relapse that unfortunately, I've had to read too many times - "You need to make a real effort to accept your relapse as part of your addiction and forgive yourself. An excess of guilt and shame over your relapse can only get in your way. The best plan is to be honest and willing to accept the ways you were responsible, but to now commit yourself to making the changes needed to prevent a future relapse".

Coming Back From A Relapse Workbook -- Hazelden

I've relapsed so many times I lost count. If you start counting days, days lost, f*cking-up, etc., as the above quote states, it's just going to get in your way. Hang in there ......

RV

[Pride before Fall]

Well I fucked up

Hi K9,

Please check in soon--just a "hi," no pressure. If you need air, go ahead and breathe.

What I haven't seen discussed much here (which I think especially applies to single moms, and you too, Sk8--a single dad), is how freaking lonely sobriety can be until you've filled in the alcohol gap with healthy, whole activities and relationships. To me, that would be the biggest danger for relapse in the early days.

I haven't read the book below yet (just ordered it), but from the beginning pages I'm hopeful it has some pointers on getting to know the new, not-drunk person we're suddenly waking up with every day, and on taking the emotional risks necessary to live fully that we've avoided with alcohol. Couldn't hurt, and might help.

Please take care of yourself,

Pride

A Place Called Self: Women, Sobriety and Radical Transformation
Amazon.com: A Place Called Self: Women, Sobriety and Radical Transformation (9781592850983): Stephanie Brown: Books

"As she grows up, a woman in our world frequently becomes role-bound before she knows who she is. If you are in recovery, you have a lot of work ahead of you, perhaps a lifetime's worth of work to catch up on. But wrapped in with the sweaty, grueling work of it is the joy you feel when you hear your own strong voice singing, unencumbered by shame or self-consciousness."

[K9Lover]

Well I fucked up

Hi Everyone!
And WOW, thank you for all the loving replies and the PM's. I called in sick to work yesterday just have some time to "think". I suprisingly wasn't that hung over...felt worse mentally than physically. As for the cat, it didn't really want to stay with me...maybe it was just playing the "I'm starving and homeless" card and I fell for it.
I honestly do not know what triggered the drinking. I know that I've been having wishy-washy days lately and not feeling super strong.
I just want to thank you all for your kindness and support. I'm disappointed, but I'm not giving up! :h
K9

[K9Lover]

Well I fucked up

p.s. Changing my signature almost brought tears to my eyes. :upset:

[Coco-Nut]

Well I fucked up

K9Lover;956113 wrote: p.s. Changing my signature almost brought tears to my eyes. :upset:

What's wrong with listing your quit date + w/bump in the road at 9/8/10?

After all, the little bump didn't erase the 160 days, which BTW is a phenomenal accomplishment.


:h Coco

PS - Keep the cat - call her Bump!

[mama bear]

Well I fucked up

I absolutely agree with Coco...don't you dare change your signature...and Bump would be a great name!!

[Doggygirl]

Well I fucked up

K9Lover;956113 wrote: p.s. Changing my signature almost brought tears to my eyes. :upset:

I know it's hard, but that experience will make you stronger in sobriety going forward. And that is the bottom line. Strength in sobriety is worth setting aside some pride to achieve. That's what carries us in the long haul I think.

DG

[mollyka]

Well I fucked up

K9, so glad you're back and nothing wounded except a bit of pride! I know exactly how you feel - it is very hard to know why that happens after such a considerable time - but it does and yep, I remember changing my signature too - I actually did cry and I think DG is right, it makes us stronger when we come straight back and certainly I was determined I wouldn't have to change that signature again!! Mind yourself and put it behind you today is all that counts errrrrrrr sort of glad you got rid of the cat - might have been a bit too much to deal with??
Molly

[K9Lover]

Well I fucked up

Hi Molly!
I'm thinkin' that maybe in the state of mind I was in that I was imagining the poor cat to be a lot more down and out than maybe he/she actually was? I was out to save the world by beer number 9. Kinda makes me laugh now how I was probably trying to force the cat to let me take care of it, meanwhile it just wanted to go home (?) Ah well, it did eat the dinner I provided for it. No harm done I guess. At least I wasn't out there driving around!

[goingsobermum]

Well I fucked up

Good to see you sounding cheerier.

[Lillypond059]

Well I fucked up

K9Lover;956112 wrote: Hi Everyone!
And WOW, thank you for all the loving replies and the PM's. I called in sick to work yesterday just have some time to "think". I suprisingly wasn't that hung over...felt worse mentally than physically. As for the cat, it didn't really want to stay with me...maybe it was just playing the "I'm starving and homeless" card and I fell for it.
I honestly do not know what triggered the drinking. I know that I've been having wishy-washy days lately and not feeling super strong.
I just want to thank you all for your kindness and support. I'm disappointed, but I'm not giving up! :h
K9

Hi K9 so glad you are feeling better, and getting back on track,can't really give advice, as you know I'm pretty new to this on day 26 af.I've been following your post each day, hoping that you are ok, thank goodness you are.

Lilly x:l:l

[IAD]

Well I fucked up

K-9.....things could of been worse.........you could brought home a stray Gator ! ha! Hang in their ! We all make mistakes.....that's why they put erasers on pencils !! IAD