Spannered!!

[Guest]

I've tried to move this/change the title to prevent panic as I've realised it'll probably make folk think I've lapsed - but I can't! Could someone move it please to general discussion, change the heading or something?

Today my brain went completely. I think it's because I didn't sleep properly last night, which was a result of eating too much chocolate. I got tired then all my old thinking, suspicions came back. It was as though I can't/don't trust anyone, nor anything at all. I really wanted to drink to take the thoughts away, an escape and to be honest I didn't give a stuff about lapsing back into my old habits. It had to be better than how horrid I felt inside with all that bad feeling squirming around like a big, fat, evil snake.

So my brain was technically drunk, but not physically. Some people say to me make sure you have things to do, to take your mind of it. Well I have plenty of offers but the only thing I could do was go to bed watching a documentary on the Battle of Britain on iplayer. I know not very much about the B of B because I fell asleep for 2 hours on it.

Still sober, still feeling sh!t, but still sober. Tomorrow is but another day.

[spuddleduck]

Spannered!!

wow thats sounds like a super strong cazy urge. bloody well done for riding it out. hope youve managed to catch up on your sleep, it really can weaken everything when your tired. you're stronger than this... get swotted up on battle of britain, and have a good sleep x

[Guest]

Spannered!!

Thanks. I do limit chocolate and usually only have a small piece as a treat at weekend. Last night I let myself go a little, but might just avoid again in the future.

[spuddleduck]

Spannered!!

and i totally understand the feeling of the evil snake squirming inside... all that horridness sloshing about.... sometimes its good to just do nothing... cushions, crap telly, and rest. hope you feel better tomorrow

[Chillgirl]

Spannered!!

Hey Ukb you did great riding this out you should give yourself a pat on the back! :l
I definitely suffer from sugar and processed food hangovers, a little is fine but when I go overboard I feel like shit. The thing that amazes me is that when I was drinking I'd eat such crap the next day and I never realized that was what made me feel so bad, I just always put it down to the hangovers. Now of course I know what it's like to feel good and there is nothing like it! Once this is out your system you will be back to your positive self.

[not tonight]

Spannered!!

Hi UK - I think sleep is sometimes the best remedy, almost like a reset button when our mind feels as if it is spinning loose. You have such inner strength, and as I am sure you are aware, addiction can have many different tactics to try and convince you to pick up that first drink once again. Get a good nights rest and I hope tomorrow is a better day.

[K9Lover]

Spannered!!

Uk-
I can totally relate, and I am SO proud of you for being strong! Keep it up, and please let us know how you are!
:l

[rebirth]

Spannered!!

UK I didnt realise that overdosing on sugar can play havoc to your mental system??I thought it just made you fat or hyper?
Jeez I definitely have a craving for chocolate since I quit the drink. I have to be addicted to something as it's my nature to be so. I really need to sort this one out soon.
Good that you didnt drink! Be miserable and sober not miserable and drunk. Thats even worse.

[rebirth]

Spannered!!

Uk is your avatar a picture of you? I have always wondered if it was...

[Guest]

Spannered!!

No but I do rather resemble my avatar at times, it's a photo of Sylvia Plath(which I didn't realise until someone else pointed her out, and I had to google the name to find out who SHE was!), which is rather interesting really as I picked it for the likeness!

[Cinders]

Spannered!!

I am a gastric bypass patient, five years ago, and that is when I became an alcoholic.

Well, no. I was a drinker for all my life. After my GP surgery, when I could drink again, is when I started drinking to the point of black out, etc.

I drink more today than I ever did pre-GB.

However, I digress a bit.

I think that drinking abated my sugar cravings, or something. Whatever it is.

Today, I am five years post GP and gaining weight again rapidly. I hate it. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the person I am today. A fat drunk!!

Before I was just fat. Now I am fat and a drunk.

I think my body has craved the "sugar" for years. Whether it be real sugar, sugar from carbs, ie. potato chips, bread, etc, and now the alcohol.

There is definitely something wrong with me.

I used to run five miles a day.

Today I can walk a mile for my cigarettes. That is about it. :-(

Sorry. Just venting. My family is so much better than I am. My oldest brother has always understood the value of exercise, healthy eating and not smoking. My middle brother has Type 1 diabetes and has had no choice but to alter his lifestyle to stay healthy because his family needs his income and his help to keep them going. I just have wallowed in my drinking, my fat and whatever. I am the worst of my family.

At one time I was an incredible person.

Today I am just a fat drunk.

Should I post this or not?

Probably not.

But I will, anyway.

I don't often post this honest. It hurts too much.

UK, you are an inspiration. You got through yet one more day safely. That is all we have. Today, sober. It is such a gift. I love my sober days. I am grateful for my sober days. I have had so many that weren't.

Love,
Cindi

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Spannered!!

UKB I am just so pleased when I read this post that you werent spannered in the sense that I assumed. Its tough what you are going through but I know you will come out the other side ok. Fair play to you for having the strength not to take the easy option, just think how much worse you would be feeling this morning :l


Cindi, oh I can hear the pain in your post, you are not a 'fat drunk' as you put it, you are a caring sweet woman who has a problem with AL. I wish you could see the person I see :l

[rebirth]

Spannered!!

Good morning Cindi. :lI have days like that too. I sometimes hate what I see ion the mirror. It almost cripples me. But i am learning to live in the solution and determined to sort out my binging eating one day. Maybe today is a good start...

UK Gwyneth Paltrow played this character in a film. Cant remember the title but I enjoyed the film. She is a really interesting person and your avatar says alot about her character..intriguing, alluring.

Anyways happy hump day all. It's time to kick ass and stop my sugar craving!!

[rebirth]

Spannered!!

Hi KTAB.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Spannered!!

:hallo: