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    What an Idiot!!

    When will I learn??? What will it take for me to realise that I cant control my drinking? I dont think I can get much lower but I still try to fool myself into believing that I can moderate my drinking. Last night my daughter got a call to come and get me from the pub as I was falling asleep, pissed, in a chair!! God, help me please, I cant hate myself anymore right now!

    #2
    What an Idiot!!

    :l I'm so sorry.
    Are you ready to admit that you can't drink at ALL?
    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

    Comment


      #3
      What an Idiot!!

      Im panicking already about all the drink flying around leading up to xmas. I just am so scared as when im drunk im capable of anything and then cant even remember what ive done!

      Comment


        #4
        What an Idiot!!

        Get some help. It's too hard to do it alone.
        Can you go to your doctor?
        Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
        If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
        November 2, 2012

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          #5
          What an Idiot!!

          No, Im a nurse and cant have that on my notes. Im meeting a guy on Friday who runs a SMART recovery group. We talked tonight and he said we could meet. I just feel like a mess, I dont know who I am without a drink. My whole social life revolves around getting pissed, but its just not funny anymore and im becoming more and more reckless.

          Comment


            #6
            What an Idiot!!

            Santybury, just spotted your post - I'm flying out the door just to let you know I know exactly how you feel, I have truly been there - life was unimaginable without alcohol, but slowly but surely it became unimaginable with it, sounds like you are getting to that place. I am NOT an anti-booze evangalist, but with this progressive disease, those of us who can't drink just keep going into a darker darker place. Grab the opportunity now, the man you are meeting on Friday sounds like a great aid, set the wheels in motion tho - as a nurse you will know whether you need medical aid with withdrawals etc. This sober living is real living - the booze sodden mess we all got into is just an awful nightmare when you look back at it at some remove. Best of luck and stay around here, it's a great place
            Molly
            Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
            contentedly NF since 8/04/14

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              #7
              What an Idiot!!

              that sounds so familiar. its crap isnt it. i can only suggest one day at a time. you will find who you are without drinking and you can be sure its a much better person than the drunk falling asleep in the chair... who wants to be that person. bet a show of hands would show no-one wanting that
              Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
              Keep passing the open windows

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                #8
                What an Idiot!!

                Hi there,

                Welcome to this wonderful site, it will help you on your journey as it has mine. Keep coming back :welcome:

                Comment


                  #9
                  What an Idiot!!

                  Santy, I was afraid of who I would (or wouldn't be) without AL. But eventually I realized that I was MORE afraid of who I was with it. Santy, you can get a plan together and do this... YOU CAN!!! Have you read the MWO book? Do you have an idea of a plan? And you don't HAVE to go to holiday events, you know.....
                  sigpic
                  Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What an Idiot!!

                    Im a nurse and cant have that on my notes. >>

                    SB, there are such worse things to have in your notes: fatty liver disease, cirrhosis, breast cancer, esophageal cancer, stomach cancer, anemia, depression, encephalopathy. If you need one, look for an addiction specialist outside your work circle. In the US, you're protected by confidentiality; is that true in the UK?

                    I can completely relate to the panic(!), but you need help, so you get it, girl! Grab whatever rope is going to pull you out of this mess. I think the recovery group is a GREAT start. Let us know how it goes, okay?

                    xoxox Pride
                    AF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
                    "People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann Landers

                    Comment


                      #11
                      What an Idiot!!

                      Santy - good advice here. Sending you peace and strength.:welcome: If you can just start with small steps of stringing together some sober days, you will begin to feel better and have clearer thinking. I could never imagine myself sober either. With the help of this site, and putting together a plan, it can be done. Keep us posted and let us know how we can help!

                      Choochie

                      Comment


                        #12
                        What an Idiot!!

                        Santy, can't really add much to the great things that have already been said. Just wanted to throw in another word of support. I can relate to not wanting anyone to know about my AL problem. Funny thing though - it wasn't a secret. When I was drinking on the job and getting way to drunk at company events and working with a hangover all the time, the only one I was fooling was me. As Pride said, your recovery is way more important than who knows what, IMO anyway.

                        Strength and hope to you - hope your SMART meeting goes well. That is a good program.

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                        One day at a time.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          What an Idiot!!

                          hi there, if you have yet to find this thread it has some gr8 stuff.
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                          we can all give you tips and share some of our storys, but it is realy up to you to decide if you are ready, i think you are. work hard, and grab happyness.
                          asp.
                          AF since 10/26/2009

                          It will be five years sober 10/26/2014

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What an Idiot!!

                            Take from all of us here that are staying sober ODAT, there is a much better life without the AL.

                            You don't need it to have fun and socialize but you can't isolate, reach out!! if you try and do it alone you will drink again
                            The only thing that has kept me sober is reaching out and finding people who know where I've been and where I want to go.
                            Hang in there.. just don't drink for this one hour.. day..
                            May our choices today not result in regret, but rather be wise

                            Comment


                              #15
                              What an Idiot!!

                              Wow!!! Thank you all so much, very wise words. I so liked the comment about "who wants to be that person falling asleep in the chair!" I dont, and I also agree about being more frightened about who I am when im drunk because that person has no boundries. I often wonder how I must look when im in that state, I dread to think to be honest. Its also true about my medical records and concerns about whats written there, but I think people are so judgemental about addictions and I feel slightly ashamed that I cant get to grips with this one. Thankyou all again xx

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