always a struggle

[professionalwino]

:new:This is my first post here, I found it through searching for people/ways to cope with ending a binge...This has been my longest to date, right about three weeks and around a liter of vodka a night. Been waking up with horrible heart palpatations and thats the nights when I sleep. Ive been heavily drinking for the past 5 years with brief stints of sobriety (for health reasons....I have no urge to give up alcohol, just need to learn responsibility and healthy living.) Just looking for a little help, also I mean no disrespect with my name, but I honestly do taste wine for a living and being as this has been a great and enjoyable career for me and is very appealing to an alcoholic I am also very talented with it so I walk a fine gray line every day. After a recent breakup I seem to have strayed to the wrong side. I know i am rambling, but being my first post just trying to give some backround.:thanks:

[Chillgirl]

always a struggle

:welcome: hi Prof-wino
I'm glad you found us, please take a look in https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html where there is some great info. Even with those planning to moderate it's recommended to have at least 30 days AF to begin with, is this possible with your work?
After drinking a liter of vodka a day your body must be feeling hellish not to mention your mind. It's good to put a plan together and check in here for support.

[professionalwino]

always a struggle

I cant go complete AF with my job, mind races constantly....always has even when AF, obviously worse when drinkin. What I want? have a glass or two of wine a night and be able to sleep. thats all i really want.

[fighting back]

always a struggle

professionalwino;1036904 wrote: I cant go complete AF with my job, mind races constantly....always has even when AF, obviously worse when drinkin. What I want? have a glass or two of wine a night and be able to sleep. thats all i really want.

I understand completely that ideally, to be able to have two glasses of wine and then a good night's sleep sounds like a dream come true. I am in exactly the same boat as you, I have been on a bit of a bender too for the last few weeks, but yesterday I decided that enough was enough.

Chillgirl is right about needing a plan, so read the toolbox thread and think. You know what you want to do, how are you going to do it?

Keep an open mind and know that you are not alone in your struggle. :welcome:

[brightlite]

always a struggle

Professionalwino,

That's hard when tasting wine is your occupation. First off, can you back off the Vodka? Maybe make a rule that you don't drink except for your wine tasting and only an occasional glass of wine. It sounds like that is what you want anyway. Make some rules and do your best to stick to them. But the Vodka has to go!

[Dewdrop]

always a struggle

Hi PW just posted a response on your thread in Just Starting Out, hope you hang around there's a load of experience and advice on the boards. Is there anyway you can get time off work to get a AF period of time under your belt?

Dewdrop :h

[oceansize]

always a struggle

That's a bit of a dilemma. As suggested, getting of the vodka is paramount, and then you can consider some time away from work if it's an option to get a handle on some time away from the wine. I took 3 weeks off from work over Xmas (one week to go) and have used the past few days and will be using next week to get the withdrawal symptoms in check before hitting the office again. I found it very difficult to get any AF tme when working as I used alcohol as my relaxing reward when I got home. Having this time to retrain the brain is working wonders so far but it's early days.

I've also been taking a supplement called L-Glutamine that seems to really help with cravings and levelling out the mood. B vitamins also help.

Best of luck to you and do stick around!

[fighting back]

always a struggle

I think vodka is vile. I'll drink it on a bender if ther's nothing else but ohhhhhhh! The hangovers are massve and the shit feeling about yourself is second to none. Get off the voddie pwd, that's step one! (rooting for you!)

[professionalwino]

always a struggle

Wow, I really appreciate the support :l yea today was a really bad one, but got to talk about it with some people that care about me and understand me, im gonna go hit the shrink hopefully monday and try and work on the anxiety issue since thats been my driving force for a few years. Never liked being on drugs because I like to be sharp all the time, but I do like to be able to sleep and haven't done that well in 10-12 years, and I would love to get something to get my brain to shut up at night. Thank you guys again, makes me feel like I'm not alone in this.

[oceansize]

always a struggle

Glad to see you back. I use Melatonin at night when I have sleep problems. It does the trick for me and isn't habit forming.

Best of luck with the psych and good on you for opening up to your mates!

[autumn]

always a struggle

Hi Prowino,

I came from a strong sales background where drinking was the norm and actively encouraged to secure a deal, celebrate or comiserate a deal! Plus Al really helped to switch off from the constant buzz in my head about my next deal & target.

Al was fab for knocking me out till the morning then the ground hog day would start all over again. Untill the nightly cosh of the booze didn't keep me comatosed till the morning, the 3am abyiss began.....

So round 2 of trying to knock my self back out in the early hours to get back to sleep became an evil circle for a wile, Untill I discovered 5-HTP and staying AF. (AF thanks to Antabuse)

5-HTP has 'reset' my sleep pattern, and now I sleep right through. It is amazing to wake up with a clear head and having had a good nights sleep ready to face another day AF.

Oh, and the sales job went too, I had no chance of protecting my precious sobriety whilst in that enviroment. I am learning to put my sobriety first, as with out it, I have nothing!!

[professionalwino]

always a struggle

well just got back from the shrink, saying out loud what ive been doing has been a real wake up call.....he refused to prescribe me baclofen, he had never heard of it being used as a way to stop drinking. he gave me 48 hrs worth of xanex and said I needed to check into an emergency room a.s.a.p. Really consisdering it. anyone that can tell me more about this process, id really appreciate it.

[ATLThrash]

always a struggle

Wow-- I am sure being a doc that he knows (of course if you are in the US he may also be trying to limit his liability if he did not suggest it and something happened--hate to be cynical but I am a lawyer so I am familiar with that pattern). Have you been drinking still and if so how much? I know withdrawl can be bad and uncomfortable but for some it is the mental aspect that seems to be even tougher than the physical. I know you will find folks that have done it with docs and without. I think it depends alot on how much you have drank and how long...I am not in any way saying he was wrong to say what he did-- but he may be trying to impress upon you the seriousness of what could (but not what will definitely) occur-- do not let being so scared also make you feel worse. I did it with no ER--perhaps I was lucky-- good luck.

Also I am not on baclofen but if he is very closed minded you might want to try to seek help that might be open to newer therapies-- at least in reading the literature. You wnat to be comfortable and have someone that you believe in to help you succeed! Good luck!!!

[professionalwino]

always a struggle

well my hands shake but they always have since I broke my hands while boxing.....when they shake at work i get concerned. Ive gone through full blown DT's before, hallucinations, seizures, the whole bit. Lately Ive been seein the bad things come back, waking up in cold sweats, full blown insomnia. Im calm at this second cuz i have had 2 martinis, thats the only reason. Ive been a HARD drinker for 6 years....I think its time to clean up the act.

[j-vo]

always a struggle

Hi prowino,
I hope you're ok. I was just reading your posts. Considering how your body has reacted to eliminating alcohol from your system in the past, it sounds as though you might need some medical help and support. I'll say a prayer for you!