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    #61
    always a struggle

    So glad you're back, PW. Thanks for for checking in. You go gentle on yourself, OK.

    I'm looking forward to your updates.

    J x
    :l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

    Comment

      #62
      always a struggle

      I just read this whole thread from start to finish. Hi professionalwino I just wanted to say I'm really impressed by your strength and hope your detox went well for you. I really think its cool that you are putting your health first. Your really taking care of yourself and doing an amazing job! I hope you'll be able to continue your career with the help and support of whatever will work for you so you can enjoy your life. All the best, choice

      Comment

        #63
        always a struggle

        Well I'll try and break this up and use the best grammar possible to make this readable and helpful for anyone that is going through this or is thinking about doing this.

        Day 0- 1-11-11
        Reach a major mental breakdown, the drinking hit an all time high, between a liter to a 1.75 of hard alcohol per day, finally my brain couldn't physically handle all the poison. Took the previous week off work to just work on my bender. So tuesday I call my boss (very understanding person thank god)-tells me to take all the time I need. Around 11:30 I call a good friend of mine and ask her if she has plans the next day, and if not can she drive me to the hospital and what would be a good time. She gives me a time, so from there I call Linden Oaks (Behavioral Health) and set a time for and assessment. From there continue to drink and post on here till I could try and sleep/wait for my ride.

        day 1- 1-12-11
        I go in for my assessment around 1:15 pm, haven't had a drink since quite early that morning. Fill out all paperwork for in-patient, they have me blow for my intake B.A.C. .254 and I hadn't drank for hours and felt completely normal, my friend had thought I was completely sober looks shocked (I get a feeling of morbid pride)
        They take me to the unit I will be staying in and start paperwork....the patients (I will refer to them as members) go down to the cafeteria, one of the staff members brings me a piece of pizza while they do more intake forms and check my vitals. My bp at check in was 178 over 115 (not good for a 25 year old, not good for anyone) After this I go and meet the group, split group of people having been taken in that day and some that had been there for 3-4. Most seem rather morose and then there were those jonesing for a fix. That night we all have an A.A. meeting, my first meeting in years, it feels good, felt comforting, I had missed this. They give me valium every hour and before bed they give me trazadone to knock me out....and then wake me up every two hours to check vitals and give me more meds.

        day 2- 1-13-11
        Cant go to breakfast, they have to take blood so no food yet, one of the members there suffering from heroin withdrawal brings me back 2 breakfast sandwiches so I can eat after they take my blood. Blood drawn, sandwiches eaten we have a coping with triggers group, followed by a smart decisions/boundaries group. We get time to call family and friends for a few minutes before lunch....my shakes are pretty bad and my blood pressures still pretty high, they keep giving me valium/atavan as well as other meds to all me down/even me out. Go to lunch, my first time in the cafeteria, im amazed, the options for food as well as the quality are great, very impressed. Not too hungry but know I must eat to assist recovery so I eat as much as possible. After lunch more phone time, we're allowed visitors every night from 6:30 to 8. So I call my friend that brought me and she comes to see me that night, afterwards we have A.A. for an hour an a half. Me and the other members watch bad tv for and hour then its lights out.

        day 3 1-13-11
        Normal start, breakfast, different groups, really getting to know everyone. Some are resistant to treatment and are working very hard to leave (mostly the alcoholics) Some even get discharged, im sad for them but I am not here for them, here for me. Today we have almost an hour of free time and me and some of the others find that we have access to a Wii ! It makes me happy to see some of the younger people and older people smiling and sober doing something silly. the staff sees this too, they start to give us extra time with it over the next few days. I get a visitor, my friend from the day before, she comments I look MUCH better, this is encouraging. We have groups and A.A. that night, while still in my head I wanna be a moderator not an abstainer I change my tune in groups. A lot of the younger people look up to me and I know the steps work. I may be being a hypocrite but there were a lot of people there younger than me and I didnt want some 18 year old whose hooked on heroin thinking there are people in life that can "moderate" drug use. We get to play more Wii, and I do some reading before bed.

        Day 4 1-14-11
        Saturday so we get to wake up an hour later, breakfast was mediocre, much more relaxed on the weekeds, we have a group on discharge, I.E. what are you gonna do to get discharged, what will you do once you are discharged to stay sober etc. etc. Ive decided I am ready to go, not sure if its "the fear" kicking in or what but I ask to see the psych and the medical doc, 2nd time seeing the psych, we start talking drug possibilites and he recommends my normal anti anxiety regimen as well as naltroxene. He says he doesnt want to discharge me but its my choice, I say let me talk to the doc and lets talk again. Doc says my vitals are still too high...138/99....I go back to the shrink and say fine, I came here to get healthy but I dont want anything out of the norm for me to sleep tonight. Doctor gives me something for blood pressure though. Much longer time for visitation today but a lot of the kids dont have anyone coming to see them so I forego visitors to play board games with them and some Wii, and talk to the new guy that came in (came in on a stretcher..veteran with ptsd having a hard time). Its saturday so we get movie night, I found in the back of the pile an old copy of "bill cosby: Himself" I figured most people under 35 haven't seen it and his bits on drugs and alcohol would be very fitting =)

        Day 5- 1-15-11
        Doc scares the shit outta me at 6 a.m. to check my vitals....down to 129/88 not perfect but better....she says lets get workn on those discharge papers! have to meet with the shrink, naltroxone it is...fill out all my papers, meet with a administrative person and im done....I say goodbe to everyone, get a little teary when i hug this little anxiety ridden little girl I half adopted while we were there. Finally got nervouse...not about leaving but because i wasnt sure I was ready to/wanted to leave.

        I know it was a bit wordy and I left a ton out and proby put to much about things you dont care about but in closing it was one of the best experiences in my life and something that I imagine myself volunteering in this field in the future....still not pledging to be alcohol free but definately will take a much clearer look at my life now.

        -PW
        Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
        WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

        Comment

          #64
          always a struggle

          Wonderful PW! Very informative! Curious though, are you planning on staying AF for 30-90 days are any time at all now that you have gone through this?
          You always succeed if you never stop trying.
          Everyday we choose the direction of change.

          Comment

            #65
            always a struggle

            Thank you so much for sharing your experience PW. I don't think you were too wordy at all. I think it all was really interesting. What I think is so beautiful about this is your mind set. In one of your earlier posts you said you were excited to go like it was Christmas.. and in this one you say it was one of the best experiences of your life. As I was figuring out to do with my circumstances I found I would get excited too. I'm very glad to hear your out of the woods and feeling better. Your one tough cookie!

            Comment

              #66
              always a struggle

              Thanks so much for telling us your experience. I am positive this will be a real help to those thinking about a medical de-tox. It has taken away some of the fear of the unknown.

              Have you started a plan for yourself and your future? We'll be very interested to know and I'm sure there'll be quite a few of us willing to share our ideas.

              Wishing you strength.

              J x
              :l
              It could be worse, I could be filing.
              AF since 7/7/2009

              Comment

                #67
                always a struggle

                still AF today, going to get a check-up. Got almost 5 hours of sleep last night which made me really happy....now to try and get on a normal sleep pattern and get back to the gym....this lack of booze is making me eat a lot more which is good and bad. Gonna be a long road but im glad my feet are walking in the right direction.
                Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
                WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

                Comment

                  #68
                  always a struggle

                  Thanks for checking in PW.
                  Much better having 5 hours sober sleep than 5 hours passed out sleep. Don't worry about the eating that get get sorted out later on.
                  It could be worse, I could be filing.
                  AF since 7/7/2009

                  Comment

                    #69
                    always a struggle

                    professionalwino;1044049 wrote: still AF today, going to get a check-up. Got almost 5 hours of sleep last night which made me really happy....now to try and get on a normal sleep pattern and get back to the gym....this lack of booze is making me eat a lot more which is good and bad. Gonna be a long road but im glad my feet are walking in the right direction.
                    You can do this and you've got lots of support here. :goodjobn staying AF. The sleep thing will sort itself out soon. Don't worry if you eat more. It's much easier to lose a bit of weight than to kick AL's butt... Stick close to MWO - we're all here for you...:huggy
                    And keep those feet walking ahead...


                    Sorry that the footprints are pink...
                    For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
                    AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

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