I am also back!!!

[nicelife]

I joined MWO in December 2004 and this program changed my life. I started drinking again just recently, thinking I could be a 'functioning alcoholic' and of course I'm scared witless and don't want to end up right back where I started. I feel that I will be right back into my old dysfunctional, unfulfilling life if I continue doing what I'm doing. The other night we were sharing a bottle of wine and I was ok with that BECAUSE I had another one stashed in the wardrobe and would have a glass of that between topping up our glasses. I'm absol:upset:utely terrified I won't be able to win this time.....

[Brigitte Bardot]

I am also back!!!

Hi Ceslie,

Why do you think you won't be able to win this time? Why is this time different?

It's great you came back here.

All the best,

[nicelife]

I am also back!!!

Hello Brigitte,

I guess I'm just a bit stunned that I actually have been drinking... I feel a bit shakey and vulnerable too.

Thanks for replying.

Ceslie

[Brigitte Bardot]

I am also back!!!

I find from my perspective that when I do drink I am always a bit shocked that I do as well, because I know full well what it does to me and the consequences that could arise from it.

Just focus on taking it as it comes, ride out the cravings. You've been here before so I don't have to go through it all for you. But please remember that you have support here, and it's great that you came back for it.

[prancy]

I am also back!!!

How do you start a thread?

[prancy]

I am also back!!!

Never mind. I figured out how to start a thread.

[Peacefull]

I am also back!!!

welcome back Ceslie....all I can say is I know exactly how you are feeling, after having many AF days and throwing them out the window is heart wrenching for me. I actually had 5 years sober and started drinking again 4 years ago and have been struggling since....I have finally admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic and am not ashamed to declare to anyone else when they question why I am not drinking anymore.

Let's beat this!!!

[fragileflower]

I am also back!!!

Ceslie and Peace,

I am back too... I understand what you are going through. It's a struggle. Just when I think I'm going to make it AF I drink again. It's the mental craving I think. You are not alone.
We can all do this together.:h:h

fragileflower

[LadyLush]

I am also back!!!

I am with all of you...we just can not become moderators! AL Free is our only answer!

[Doggygirl]

I am also back!!!

Welcome back Ceslie. I think I understand the fear you are feeling. I relapsed after a very short AF stint when I first came to MWO, and had a really really hard time getting back on the wagon. (8 months of trying and flailing). Then when I DID get back on the wagon, I just had a nagging fear in the back of my mind that some situation would arise and I wouldn't be able to stop myself from drinking, and then I wouldn't be able to stop drinking. It's scary - the stakes are so high for people like us.

I hope you find your way out again. If I can do it, I know you can do it too. :l

DG

[gyco]

I am also back!!!

thinking

Ceslie;1056584 wrote: Hello Brigitte,

I guess I'm just a bit stunned that I actually have been drinking... I feel a bit shakey and vulnerable too.

Thanks for replying.

Ceslie

:welcome:back ceslie,you have an addiction my dear,think of it as a car accident rather then what soiciety says it is,many of us when we drink,over do it,so were deemed a drunk, or one will state there alchoholic,not understanding the ramifications of there statement ?lets face it if most drank like us they d be comatose or just die,and lets face it be confused,:Hthis is a great site,an alternative to other means, lets face it many are still stuck in the early 19th century,only caues were tot that way,we just have to talk and who better to talk to then another DRUNK i do wish yo well gyco