I am so sick of myself!
Hi Prancy,
I don't check in here very often these days, but saw your post first and thought I would read it.
Don't give up. Sometimes it takes a while for sobriety to stick.
I am now over 7 months sober (I know that's not a huge amount of time) and I never in a million years would have thought I was capable of this.
I joined MWO in 2006 and it really did take me 4 years of trying many things before I got to where I am now. It was a desperate, long and painful journey. However, I think I am stronger now for it. I definately know I can not take one drink NOT ONE, because I don't know where it will lead me. I would be letting go of my future in a way if I dared to think it was safe to have one. I had sober periods while on different drugs, only to go back drinking and not take the meds.
I tried Topamax, Antabuse, Baclofen and white knuckling. I really didn't think I would ever get 'it'.
But in the end, my life became so unbearable, that I decided that anything would be better than drinking - It no longer worked for me.....it hadn't for 10 years.
I ended up going to AA and as a secret drinker that was quite a big step for me - I live in a smallish town and was really worried about being recognised etc. I have made a lot of new friends and am becoming stronger and more confident every day.
Never ever give up. I didn't. It took longer than I would have liked to get sober, but it happened eventually.
Now I don't know how I actually survived doing what I was doing with booze for so long. The pain of it all was so great.
Keep on going Prancy. Look at your life and make some changes if you need to. Be kind to yourself and ask for as much support from as many different sources as you can.
If I can do it - so can you.
Best wishes
Amelia
Hi Prancy,
I don't check in here very often these days, but saw your post first and thought I would read it.
Don't give up. Sometimes it takes a while for sobriety to stick.
I am now over 7 months sober (I know that's not a huge amount of time) and I never in a million years would have thought I was capable of this.
I joined MWO in 2006 and it really did take me 4 years of trying many things before I got to where I am now. It was a desperate, long and painful journey. However, I think I am stronger now for it. I definately know I can not take one drink NOT ONE, because I don't know where it will lead me. I would be letting go of my future in a way if I dared to think it was safe to have one. I had sober periods while on different drugs, only to go back drinking and not take the meds.
I tried Topamax, Antabuse, Baclofen and white knuckling. I really didn't think I would ever get 'it'.
But in the end, my life became so unbearable, that I decided that anything would be better than drinking - It no longer worked for me.....it hadn't for 10 years.
I ended up going to AA and as a secret drinker that was quite a big step for me - I live in a smallish town and was really worried about being recognised etc. I have made a lot of new friends and am becoming stronger and more confident every day.
Never ever give up. I didn't. It took longer than I would have liked to get sober, but it happened eventually.
Now I don't know how I actually survived doing what I was doing with booze for so long. The pain of it all was so great.
Keep on going Prancy. Look at your life and make some changes if you need to. Be kind to yourself and ask for as much support from as many different sources as you can.
If I can do it - so can you.
Best wishes
Amelia
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