Abusive alcoholic husbands

[missyabby1]

I am so sure that I want to change my life and give alcohol the boot. It has been a devastating ride for me. I started taking Camral 5 weeks ago and it has made a huge difference to my cravings and resolve to halt this devastating slide of my life and myself. I have been to a counsellor just the one time and he basically said that being married to someone who is also an alcoholic and not really wanting to change is going to make it doubly hard for me to change also. I had ten days sobriety under my belt today and he bullied, abused and drank nearly all day. I am now on to my second bottle of wine. He told me that it was my choice to drink and had nothing to do with him but just an excuse to drink.

maybe he is right as it is such a comfort to drink.

It feels so familiar and usual. My first husband died and we used to drink one bottle of light beer every Friday night and that was it. I am going back to my counsellor again this week but am wanting some assistance from friends here to get this man out of my life and get back to who i used to be.

thanks for listening,

[Doggygirl]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Hi Miss Abby. Congratulations on your decision to work on your own alcohol problem. At the end of the day, your life depends on your sobriety - no matter what your husband decides to do about his. I don't think there is any doubt that sobering up while living in a home where drinking is going on can make the job more difficult. However, IT CAN BE DONE and HAS been done by many people here. If they can do it, so can you.

Have you read the My Way Out book? That's a great place to start. You can download it from the health store and start reading it right away. It was a $13 or so investment that put me on the path.

Strength and hope,

DG

[missyabby1]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Thanks for your answer doggygirl but dont know how many black eyes and bruises i can deal with right now.

[mario]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Hi missyabby sorry about all that crap your going through,
Have you tried getting in contact with AL-ANON , members there are people who live with problem drinkers,most large towns have a group and everyone is welcome.

[fennel]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Sheri is absolutely right, missy. And even if your husband isn't physically abusive, the verbal and emotional sort is just as damaging. He sees your attempts at sobriety as a threat to his current lifestyle. I hope that you can find the courage and help you need to free yourself from alcohol, and from him....that is, if he refuses to change. You deserve better. Don't underestimate what you can accomplish. :l

[Gidget1016]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Missy:

Sheri and Fennel are absolutely right....you are in a fight for your life right now. 10 days sober is huge....this is just a set-back so don't be discouraged by it. You can and will get sober. The rest of us here are pulling for you. Let us know how you are doing.

[Guest]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Missy

I have been in a very similar relationship, except that I wasn't married and it was only a short-term relationship. If you are in physical danger you must protect yourself, seeking help where necessary. I didn't for so long and it all ended up getting much worse. Passing the buck is a habit a lot of drinkers have, especially where they think they will lose their drinking partner.

[KundaliniGirl]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Miss Abby - it's all been said, but wow, I would get out of there immediately. I dated one person who was abusive to me (one time). I gave him another chance and nothing had changed. I got out as fast as I could. Save YOURSELF!

[Wagoneer]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Miss Abby - bruises and black eyes? Two words. Get out.

Don't wait for him to change because he won't. They don't abuse you then just stop. Get out now before it gets worse. Do not be the victim any more. I pray for strength and safety for you.

[Doggygirl]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Miss Abby, I just now saw your reply. I agree with the others - if your situation is unsafe (physical abuse) then you MUST get out to safety. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make someone else stop drinking. And if he is blacking your eyes when he drinks - the only control you have is to remove yourself.

Wishing you strength and hope. I think Mario's suggestion to contact Alanon is a good one. Local support might be very helpful and also comforting for you right now.

DG

[mama bear]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Please get out now Abby....we are worried for you

[fennel]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

I somehow overlooked the bruises and black eyes part! Please contact your nearest battered women's shelter ....this abuse isn't going to stop. :l

[missyabby1]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Thankyou everyone for your posts, your good advice and your caring. Was too embarassed to even turn on my computor this morning cos I couldn't even remember what I had said last night. You know the old "shame" factor !

I am safe today as my husband left last night to sleep at our business. Am going to tell him that staying there for the time being is what I really need right now.

The place we live is my house so I know I can keep him out if things get ugly.

I know he is a major trigger for me drinking and has been for a long time. I just need some peace and quiet in my life right now and not to be bossed around and told what to do by him. It has been happening for so long that I have got to the point where most times I just can't even think for myself.

Once again thankyou all for caring and am back on the wagon today!

I can do this!

:thanks:

[Guest]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

missyabby1;1059799 wrote: Thankyou everyone for your posts, your good advice and your caring. Was too embarassed to even turn on my computor this morning cos I couldn't even remember what I had said last night. You know the old "shame" factor !

I am safe today as my husband left last night to sleep at our business. Am going to tell him that staying there for the time being is what I really need right now.

The place we live is my house so I know I can keep him out if things get ugly.

I know he is a major trigger for me drinking and has been for a long time. I just need some peace and quiet in my life right now and not to be bossed around and told what to do by him. It has been happening for so long that I have got to the point where most times I just can't even think for myself.

Once again thankyou all for caring and am back on the wagon today!

I can do this!

:thanks:

Good news, glad you've made a decision like this.

[vintage girl]

Abusive alcoholic husbands

Miss Abby, I take my hat off to you, you have so much on your plate and you managed 10 days AF, just imagine what you will be able to achieve when you get rid of this abusive influence in your life!

And you must get rid of him...if he's hitting you, you know it's not going to get any better. You say you have a business together, I would see a lawyer right away. For your own safety and also for your right to live life as YOU want to, you must get out, or make sure he gets out.

We are all here for you, don't be ashamed or afraid when posting here. I hope you find the strength to help yourself. :l