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Why am I weak?

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    #1

    Why am I weak?

    Hello all

    It really has been a long time since I wrote anything substantial on this site so I just wanted to express how weak I feel about the inability to stop drinking. Moderation will not do it for me it has to be complete abstinence or nothing. I just cannot stay stopped a few weeks A/F then bang a few drinks and I am off boozing again why am I so weak? :upset:
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    #2
    Why am I weak?

    You aren't weak at all, addiction is an incredibly tricky thing to deal with. Anyone who hasn't suffered just can't even start to imagine.

    Comment

      #3
      Why am I weak?

      Hi UKblonde,
      Where Al is concerned I also like you think I am weak, never has anything had a grip on me like that does, in other areas of my life I like to think I am a strong person, I hold down a responsible job, run my home alone, but hated the fact that Al had control over me!
      Do not ever think your weak, like loads of people will tell you on here it is an addiction and very cruel one at that. I can neither moderate as I know exactly which road it will take me back on and I truly do not want to go there.I put a very similar post up to yours a few months back and received some very good advice, it still took a while, however, my light finally switched on.
      All I can say is do keep trying.. take all the advice on here and remember how good it feels without Al in your life.

      Comment

        #4
        Why am I weak?

        Sheri;1066942 wrote: Hi DD,

        It's not that you're weak, it's that your body simply can't process alcohol, and for many of us (myself included), no amount of strength will make that happen. It took me a long time to accept that but once I did, it made the journey to sobriety so much easier because I was no longer digging in my heels wishing and hoping for something that can never be. For people like us, whose bodies can't process alcohol, one drink sets the craving and obsession in motion. For normies, there bodies start sending up the signals to stop after one drink. Ours says "gimme, gimme, gimme more."

        Some people can't eat certain foods because of the way their body reacts when they do. It makes them very sick, yet when they eat it, they crave it, despite the bad reaction they have, so they learn to accept that they have to stay away from that particular food. Well, it's really no different for us with alcohol. Many of us are indeed "allergic" to the ingredients in alcohol and "craving" is one of the telltale signs. This knowledge actually helped me to understand and accept why my efforts to control my addiction (allergy) failed and why I needed to eliminate alcohol from my life altogether.

        Sheri
        Sheri ,
        I am actually in awe of you.... seriously where do you get all this stuff from..everything i read of yours always makes me feel so much better about myself. :thanks:

        Comment

          #5
          Why am I weak?

          In my own personal case I drank to get drunk every single time. I conditioned my mind to expect getting smashed everytime I had any alcohol intake. After years and years this conditioning became so strong I simply could not shut it off when introduced to any alcohol whatsoever. In my own personal case moderation is simply impossible and without speaking for anyone else, I can only assume this might be going on when all it takes is one drink for the benders to begin again after an extended separation from booze. Abstinence for me is the only way to avoid my booze brain from getting reignited.
          2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

          Comment

            #6
            Why am I weak?

            YOUR NOT WEAK DD!!!
            this is a disease- a medical condition! Not a breakdown in willpower. Join us on the baclofen journey!! After much research I've started this journey. This disease can be cured and I believe baclofen may be the answer!

            Comment

              #7
              Why am I weak?

              DD - me, too.

              Comment

                #8
                Why am I weak?

                DD,

                Nearly all of us have been there, and utterly share the frustration. I had to learn to stop listening to the reward voices. The ones that say, 'ah go on, you been sober now for Xdays, have a drink to celebrate, you deserve a drink' etc, etc.

                Sheri (amazing post) sums it up perfectly. We have no off switch, so modding is not an option for me, so I have to learn to avoid that first drink at all costs. I try and recall in minute detail just how horrific my last binge felt. So if the 'ah go on' starts up, I can knock it into touch and remeber how horrendous it felt.

                It does get easier. hang in there, and try not to beat yourself up, everytime you try again, its a massive acheivement and a step in the right direction.
                I can not alter the direction of the wind,

                But I can change the direction of my sail.


                AF since 01/05/2014

                100 days 07/08/2014

                Comment

                  #9
                  Why am I weak?

                  I used to feel the same way. How did I become a "alcoholic". One thing that helps me keep this in perspective is the fact that there are so many smart and famous people who have this issue as well.

                  With all of the focus on Charlie Sheen lately, there have been many celebrities that have been talking more openly about their own problems including Mathew Perry (friends), Colin Farrel, etc. There is actually quite a list, including world leaders.

                  Anyway, knowing that other people like that have the same issues as me helps me realize just what a son of a b**ch alcohol really is.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Why am I weak?

                    Its a fuckin nightmare! IMO its IMPOSSIBLe to control....but then again, i am a chronic binger....not everyone is like me!

                    Get on the Baclofen!! It's really working for people
                    Check out the meds thred - read up on it
                    Cheers
                    I am well and truly in recovery, I thank Baclofen, the good people of MWO and my love of spirituality, the combination of which have helped to guide me out of the darkness in the last couple months. Cheers to that.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Why am I weak?

                      Hey Charlieboy,
                      Do not identify too much with the addict personality!! I have addition problems, but the real me is not only defined by my problems. I too binge, and feel terrible afterwards, but I am learning not to identify myself with labels. Without this problem Charlieboy would still be Charlie boy, figure out the 'I am' without the label. Who is Charlieboy when he is not drinking, read that everyday instead of 'I am an addict'
                      Good luck!
                      mags

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