need help

[theshark]

need help

back

im exactly the same type of drinker as the last number of posts.after going thru hell a fortnite ago i was srarting to feel ok again so i tried 3 pints one nite ,evrything ok then the next nite 4 pints,still everything ok with no withdrawals any way i was soon back onto my 8 pints a day finishing off yesterday with 10 pints.
needless to say im back to square one feeling awful ,terrible fears and dreads and shaking,why cant i just stick to 3 or 4 pints a nite
all feedback most welcome,thanks for listening

[Doggygirl]

need help

Hi Shark. We were just talking about your topic on another thread. For me, my alcoholism is not defined by whether I drank every day or whether I drank once a week or once a month or once a year. My alcoholism is defined by the fact that once I take one drink, I can't control what happens next. I can't tell you how many times in the last 30 years I have sworn off booze, gotten over the hangover, decided to have "just one" and then ended up blotto. Time after time.

For me that was a daily thing. For others it's more like you describe - a more occassional (than daily) thing. But the result is the same - drunk, guilty, remorseful, and whatever other array of negative consequences.

I will NEVER be able to safely drink. Ever. If I take one drink, bad shit is bound to start happening again. That is the fact I had to accept before I could begin my recovery. I'm an alcoholic by any definition.

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[coalfire]

need help

nthk4u;1081476 wrote: Like you, i am a binge drinker. i never really feel the urge but once my drinking friends get me started, i can't stop until i'm wasted, embarassed, sick, ashamed, and sometimes having suicidal thoughts. i also do very reckless things. yet, i can go for long before i end up as above again...then i'm swearing i will never take another drink once more!
I often read about the cravings but i get none...i just cant stop once i start...in short my cravings get there once i start. I am only saying this to you to show you that you are not alone; like me you have an illness and must realise it.

That is me in black and white...every last word. You are not alone. Its all about accepting it I think which is a nightmare all by itself. Getting there-day 62. I think there is a point where you realise you just cant keep doing it to yourself anymore.You also realise that one of these nights there are going to be consequences that you cant come back from. Scary.

[theshark]

need help

thats what baffles me i can if i try just have a couple of drinks for a couple of days but i always get tempted ,when feeling alright to think i can drink up to 10 pints a day,my doctor doesnt think im an alcoholic but im not sure as i drink everyday averaging 5 to 8 pints of lager daily all feedback again most welcome
the shark

[coalfire]

need help

Shark I know what you mean about having the good days sometimes. I used to love those days. I saw them as proof that with just that little bit more effort I could get to be a "normie". Now I realise that they were the most dangerous days of all because they just sucked me in deeper and kept me mired in my addiction.Next thing I knew almost a decade had passed! Im sure you have heard the expression-" I didn't get into trouble every time I drank but every time I got into trouble I was drinking."
What I eventually came to realise was that life was only made up of a handful of things eg Job/partner/a few close friends/neighbours etc. If you only lost one thing a year you could still ruin your life. Take a look at this thread https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ml#post1075367

It helped me too to think of it as an allergy. I posted this thread and got some good responses.https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ent-47763.html


Or if you prefer you could think of it as your 118G gene as the link I gave you a few posts back talks about. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...art-48986.html
It is good that you have come on here to talk about it. What many people do is continue drinking but start drinking alone to escape trouble. That is a huge mistake. We talked about that in this thread.https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...nds-48538.html

It has been said that it is the great obsession of every problem drinker to find a way to go back out there and drink normally. Many die or go to prison trying. Others destroy their bodies hearts and minds in the same pursuit.Once the allergy/gene/whatever has activated then there is no way back. Its like a train journey-you can accept that and get off at the first station or stay on and get off at a later station or never get off at all. Every station you stay on will bring you more heartbreak and loss.Again I am sure you have heard the saying-you cant turn a pickle back into a cucumber. It is what it is. I was so devastated over this I actually found myself relating to bereavement literature! Anyway the good thing is that there are so many people here who will help you through your grief/anger/bewilderment. The trick is to stay very close to the site and post whatever you feel. People will help you to work through it. So many have been there themselves. If the struggle is too much for you have a look at the meds section. I have used Antabuse lithium orotate(discussed in the HH section) and low dose Baclofen all at some stage. I think it it is worth buying recovery literature too.Everything you need to beat your problem is on this site. However none of it will work until you" surrender" and face that alcohol and you will never work. I hope you are smarter than me and dont take the best part of 10 years to do that. I am sure you are. It is a good sign that you are reaching out now.