New and need support

[amethyst74]

Hello. This is the first time I actually post on here. But I wanted to introduce myself. I am a single mother in my mid 30's. I have gradually increased my drinking in the past 5 years to now basically daily and from 2 or 3 glasses of wine to a bottle or more. I don't mean to feel sorry for myself but my financial troubles, lack of a mate and extreme weight gain are all somehow connected to and perhaps even caused by my drinking yet I use it as an excuse to continue doing it. I also take medication for depression and I know I should not mix the 2. My relationship with my teenager has suffered also as my moods are so erratic. I love the way I feel after a couple of drinks, but lately I cannot stop and I just continue into the night till I lose interest in whatever I am doing, watching or reading and just go to sleep. I have had blackouts. They have been few and far between. I have driven drunk. My car is full of dents and scratches, though thankfully this has occured due to careless parking but never had an accident while UTI.

I feel like I have lost myself. Have gained like 40 pounds. Am very bloated! Lost most of my desire to socialize since nothing fits and yet part of me really wants to go back to the girl I was before I lost total control. I do not drink during the day, but yes when I get home from work. I am currently working as a nurse in a classrooom, not very challenging, but pretty much all I can handle these days mentally. My drinking always erraticates my sleep patterns and then I have trouble waking up the next morning. I want to change. I want to stop. I don't know when was the last time I went one day without the wine. But I do know I get SEVERE night sweats when I don't .I know they say get out and do something to distract your mind but I just can't muster up the energy. I would like any thoughts or feedback if possible, as well as perhaps to find out about online meetings. I do not want to go to AA. I used to be an avid exerciser, but lately has been hard to drag myself to the gym. I just really want to stop. I have the kudzu and the L-Glutamine and am going to take it "consistently" starting tomorrow. I really want to start a new life !

Thanks.

[Chillgirl]

New and need support

:welcome: Amethyst
Your story is a familiar one and I so glad you decided to post as the support here is awesome! check out the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html where you will find great advice. The best way to start is by commiting to 30 day AF, yes you will have night sweats but they soon stop and its just your body getting rid of the toxins so think of it as a good thing. Its a spiral, of we feel fed up so we have a drink to feel better, then we get depressed about feeling crap and so it goes on....

You used to be an avid exerciser and can easily be again. exercise is a great way to speed up the detox process so even if you only start by getting out for a brisk walk, do it today! After a few days AF you will start to feel better about yourself and that will motivate you to continue.

Keep posting and reading and join one of the monthly threads where you can get to know other members. I wish you such strength and hope you start taking control back today!

[amethyst74]

New and need support

Chillgirl;1090362 wrote: :welcome: Amethyst
join one of the monthly threads where you can get to know other members.

How do I do that?
:thanks:
Thank you. There is a part of me that still thinks what the hell. But I know that is the one who will eventually kill me if i keep listening. I will commit to at least a week and see how I feel b/c 30 days seems like an eternity. Hopefully soon it will seem like the norm to be AF!

[amethyst74]

New and need support

Dear Molly,

I hope you are right about the Booze weight! I am 170 and only 5'0! 2 years ago i was 135. Need to get there again!

[lost & found]

New and need support

hi i am still here and reding as much as i can,havent drank since last thursday,dont know if i can do meds or just try by my own with support from here but i was told i can do both

[lost & found]

New and need support

going for a walk be back later to read more,good place well most of it some angry people here but i suppose that is what drink dose to us

[spacebebe01]

New and need support

Hi Amethyst, Im glad you have come on here and decided you want to do something to get a better life. It has helped me massively to be able to come on here and read all the post about how others are getting on. Night sweats happened to me as well, but they will soon pass, a few days without drink makes an amazing difference in the way you will feel. I am almost 5 weeks AF now and need as much help and support as I can get. Staying open minded and making a plan to do small changes is helping me.
Also excercise is said to be great for making you feel better, Im not good at this myself but know I do feel better if I go for a walk in a nice place.
Also taking things easy and trying not to worry about things that dont really matter is another tip that I try to use.

[Chillgirl]

New and need support

Amethyst you just post on the thread they way you have here, just jump on and introduce yourself, ther is a thread in "Just starting out" section called Aiming High in April - come join us!

Lost & Found - well done on 3 days AF! :goodjob: The weekends are the hardest so you have done great! Please dont be put off by "angry" people. The majority here are absolutely wonderful and I owe my sobriety to them. Sadly the mix of drugs and emotional issues some people have cause personality distortion but as I say this is a wonderful place. If you see conflict best to not get involved, your sobriety is the no.1 priority.

[Chillgirl]

New and need support

x'd post Spacebe :hiya:

Fantastic job on 5 weeks! :yougo:
I had night sweats too but they passed in about a week. Although my body detoxed for several weeks and I smelt awful when i sweated in the gym! :yuk:

[Bluejay]

New and need support

:welcome: Amythest :welcome:

[hopesprings]

New and need support

Hi Amethyst, I'm new here too, and reading your post, your situation sounds similar to mine. I have no motivation for anything I used to enjoy (except alcohol), and so I blob on the couch watching TV. I'm hoping to find my motivation again also, but I'm also realising that if I do falter, its not the end of the world, its not another thing to beat myself up over (and hence have a drink to dull those feelings). I think the first step was admitting to myself that I have a problem. All the best for your journey.

[Doggygirl]

New and need support

:welcome: amethyst! Good to have you here.

I can relate to the desire to just hide in the house. (not wanting to go to the gym, go to AA, go out and socialize, etc.). In my last several years of drinking, I did it alone in my house in depression and isolation. I too gained a lot of weight and was over 200 pounds when I first started seeking sobriety.

I found the My Way Out book and recommendations to be very helpful getting me started. I've had setbacks along the way, and have since tweaked my own recovery program to be effective for me. But I started out by reading the My Way Out book, ordering the starter kit, and doing everything the book suggested with regard to diet and exercise and supplements and hypnosis CD's. The only thing I didn't do was take Topomax or any prescription medication. That program + active participation in this forum got me my first 60 consecutive days without alcohol in my whole adult life. (I was 49 at the time).

I had to PUSH myself out the door and not allow myself to totally isolate. Isolation for me leads to drinking or binge eating or negative stuff. To this day I often think I would rather just stay home - but that will leave me depressed and unfulfilled. Once I make myself get out the door and go do something, I always feel better as a result.

I am still dealing with some issues related to food. That is my next "layer of the onion" to healing and recovery. But I am no longer over 200 pounds - I am in my normal weight range. That all by itself feels good, and that was NOT going to happen until I got AL out of my life, and got off the sofa and out into the world again.

Being willing to step outside of my comfort zone has been really important to my recovery. Not sure if that is useful information for you or not, but there you have it!

Strength and hope to you. This is a great place and I hope you find your way out here.

DG

[sick of being sick]

New and need support

Amethyst and hopesprings, welcome! When I came here a little over a year ago, I could have never imagined the close friendships I would make. It is those friends that have are always there for you that will help you every step of the way. I would like to invite you to visit "The Journey begins here..." under General Discussion. We have a great little family that is so encouraging and loving. You will be very safe there to share whatever you are going through, without the fear of judgement or condemnation. I hope to see you there. If you have any problems finding it, please pm me and I will help you. Best of luck to both of you on your new journey! Love, Vicki

[Beachbump]

New and need support

Hi everybody chatting on this thread - AL did made me put on weight as well - BUT - now on day 23 still ...I HAVE THE MUNCHIES. I'm actually a salty person but crave for sweet things - all the time. For lunch this afternoon Ihad a choc-mint mousse with icecream - and just now I made me a sandwich with cream cheese and THICK fig jam!! Putting on more weight now! Will it pass?

[Guest]

New and need support

Hey Amethyst

Even though our personal circumstances are different, for example I don't have any children, the way in which alcohol affected me is pretty much the same. Isolation, weight gain, lack of motivation, low self-confidence. All came as a result of my drinking, the good news is that during sober periods most of these issues were removed, or at least I was in a position to work through them.

Putting down alcohol will be the best thing you can do for yourself.