Feeling forlorn and sappy. Have tried being AF on and off since I joined here 2 1/2 years ago. Finally am ready to really call it quits for real as I am so tired of embarrassing myself and my family. Had another over the top night last night and hubby is really upset with me now. Am feeling pretty alone right now and reaching out for support. After trying to be AF independently, I now know I need others. I can do this, but am needing to feel some reassurance that I will make it through this embarrassment, and husband's anger and disappointment and all will be okay again, maybe even better?
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"Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver -
Day 1 today
I've been there too - your hubbie will get throught his with you as you go along. I live in New Zealand, its 3am here and I only had a bottle of wine last night and have been awake the whole night. We keep screwing up and then paying the consequences eh! I'm supposed to be working for a friend this week - just two hours a day but the driving time is 2 hours. I wasnt getting paid for it but doing it as a favour. I made the decision about an hour ago that I want to concentrate on me and not just be there for everyone else while I go sober so left a message on her phone saying I was sick with a tummybug and cant come in. I think that while were like this we need to focus on OUR recovery and put that first, my hubbie is away overseas and I have kids to look after. You'll be alright and you will get through this. We can do it together even on opposite ends of the world. Put YOU first and start today one day at a time -
Day 1 today
Day 2 For Me
If you read my post from Friday, you will see we are in the same boat! My husband was very upset with me yesterday. Today is better. I made a COMPLETE ASS out of myself Friday. Everytime I thought about it yesterday, I almost cried. Today I am better...thanks to the wonderful support of the people on this site. I did go to the toolbox yesterday and found some really helpful information. I had some really big plans and now I'm really starting to understand that this really is one day at a time. I agree with Mumofsix.....we have to take care of ourselves while we go through this process. Stress is a trigger for me (actually anything seems to be a trigger
. We can all do this...I think especially if we work together. I also have figured out that it is work and does require effort....for some reason, I guess I just thought the sober fairy would come take all temptation away but it doesn't happen like that.
I say lets all give it a go together....I'll try to post daily on my progress and I'll try to help you guys anyway I can.Gidget 1016
"Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out":hComment
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Day 1 today
Hi to all of you...there were 2 things that made me quit 30 days ago... the one was that I could feel my liver and kidneys can not take anymore and if I dont stop NOW i will die...
the 2nd - my hubby told me (after I also made an ass of myself the previous night) that he is not prepare to live under this circumstances with me any more. He told me my attitude and mindset towards my drinking habits must change otherwise it is the end of our life together. Afterwards he did told me that he said that things as schock therapy - it HELPED! For the first time in my life I am REALLY COMMITTED TO MY SELF TO STAY SOBER- and yes - now - I think of myself first because nobody else can look better to me than myself - and I need to get healthy and start living the life I'm suppose to live.
You can also do it. I was also on day 1 and day 2.And in a month time HOPEFULLY i will be on day 60!
GOOD LUCK!Comment
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Day 1 today
Hi Openheart,
I have been there too. I promise you will feel better in a few days, even tomorrow, and it won't seem so bad. I think we have a way of thinking it is worse than it really is when depressed with a hangover! I have done some really dumb things while drinking and usually it is when I am with people that I would like to impress....haha...somehow slobering drunk and falling down hasn't done the trick. I have not been drinking now for a week. I am starting to feel pretty good about myself. Last week was another story. I just bought the book, The easy way to quit drinking, by Allen Carr. I skimmed through it and I liked what I saw. He talkes about how all drinkers are liars, and never admit to how much they drink. Maybe you could think about the people you were with and know they are human too...they may even have a bigger problem when you aren't around.
I can't wait to start the book tonight. Blessings, BuffyComment
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Day 1 today
Beachbump...how inspiring and congrats on your 30 days! I bet you feel alot better. I'm looking forward to 30 days.Gidget 1016
"Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out":hComment
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Day 1 today
Oh thank you, everyone. Your words of encouragement and understanding helped me so much today. Going to keep rereading your gift of support. Alot of what you shared soothed my shame and self-loathing.
Thank you, thank you."Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary OliverComment
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Day 1 today
Hi open-heart and all, I'm on day 1... Again! How is it going for you?Comment
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Day 1 today
Hi everyone, read the posts, was AF for 3 months, then slipped, was bitched at by my ex, even though I was not drinking. Then he gave me the boot, he had other reasons, like a new girl friend, but oh well. I moved and was AF for another month, then I slipped again, and still trying to fight it since Sept/10. I have felt like harming myself, because sometimes we feel no one wishes to be there for us, but I have 4 beautiful grandchildren, and I would never hurt them.
My day one will start tomorrow, if I have wine here I drink it, so I will just not go and buy any, so with your help and support, my day one will turn into 1 month then 3 and more. I have been on this site for about a year, and have found alot of support from all. thanksComment
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Day 1 today
Litre
I just wanted to welcome you. The support that you will find on this site is incredible. I'm only on day 3 (after a few failed attempts) but I feel good. The most advise I can give right now is to go to the Toolbox. I underestimated this in the beginning and fiinally went there after I slipped this last time and wish I had gone there sooner. I found alot of really good information. Also, If you have had thoughts about hurting yourself, you may want to consider seeking some type of counseling while you are going through this tough but worthwhile process.
You will find lots of support here so please keep posting and let us all know how you are doing.....even if you have moments where you slip. The support that I have received has been instrumental in helping me to get my tail back up and moving!Gidget 1016
"Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out":hComment
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Day 1 today
HI Openheat,
I too was on day 1 not that long ago. it was the hardest day. i felt panic and anxiety, my booze brain was telling me not to do it. But I did. then day 1 is day 2, and before i knew it it was day 5 then 6. and i was driving by the liquor store without thinking about it. I really noticed one night around day 7or 8 that it was past 9 oclock. (9 is when the liquor store closed) and I didn't panic. i was shocked and proud of myself.. so I take 1hour and 1 day at a time. it sounds sooo corny but its true.
hang in there, and trust me the embarassment of the things you did while drunk will pass.
Capercaper
AF since Sept 2013...
:alf:Comment
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Day 1 today
Count me in too.... I think Ive said this 100 or more times but then thats 100 days I didn't drink right?Comment
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Day 1 today
Day 6 for me today. I havent felt so bad except this bloody insomnia ( Its once again 2am in New zealand - which seems to be my witching hour lol) BUT at leat tonite Ive had 3 hours sleep! It does get easier day by day. I just find I'm grumpy and intolerand and midly unpleasant to be around!! My hubbie is away in America at the moment and I'm talking to him either by phone or email and said by mail IF YOU CANT FIND SOMEWHERE TO TALK TO ME PRIVATELY THEN DONT BOTHER RINGING - I DONT LIKE TRYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY LACK OF DRINK WHEN OTHERS ARE LISTENING. He wont think thats fair but I do! The time difference makes it hard so he rings me at his lunchtime when its 7amish here, he could ring me at 3pm our time which is 11ish in America! Would rather NOT hear from him than have everyone else listen to our conversations. I'm finding with the lack of alchohol for ME things feel raw and rough round the edges now. I cant smooth out my feelings in a blur of wine. Truth be known its nice not having a hangover and the guilts though. If I'm a first class bitch he can always leave lol.Comment
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Day 1 today
I decided to post here since I am once again on day 1. 364 days to go before I hit the one year mark. Not that I am counting I really just want to get thru today, stop feeling guilty and get victory over alcohol.:hitme:
Day 1:4/4/2014Comment
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Day 1 today
Hello, and well done , I am going to try tooComment
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