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    #16
    What have I become....

    Please don`t continue to down yourself over this incident, Lost1. I believe you are fundamentally a good soul. There is no need to explain yourself to me ( I don`t claim to be any great pillar of virtue) or to anyone else here.

    I was really just trying to tell you that, despite how lost you feel right now, there is really so much more you could lose as a result of alcohol.

    You`ll be O.K.

    Fight the good fight to become and remain sober and with the help of your therapist, I pray you find happiness once more. :l

    Star x
    Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

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      #17
      What have I become....

      Hi lost. Just checking in on you. I hope you're doing ok.
      ~

      Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

      Sobriety date: Sept 26, 2011

      Comment

        #18
        What have I become....

        Hi lolab,

        Thanks for checking in. Day 2 is almost complete and seem to be doing alright physically. My total lack of appetite is a bit worrisome. No interest in AL though. At some point I need to get out of bed and do something productive like some house cleaning.

        Comment

          #19
          What have I become....

          Hey Lost,

          Just wanted to add my welcome along with the others. MWO is a truly wonderul place and I encourage you to read thru the posts and post yourself - it really helps.

          You are not a loser - just remember that - you are only human and the fact that you've reached out for help is the first step in beating your issues with AL.

          Good luck my friend - we are all here to help!
          Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

          Comment

            #20
            What have I become....

            Hi Lost,
            I know first hand how awful you must feel and my heart is breaking for you. This is never an easy situation but it will get better with each day. I think the hardest part is beating yourself up. Well, my friend, this is a wake-up call if there ever was one but you can do this! i know you feel bad but you have to take care of yourself, especially now. I am starting my 30 AF quest today, since it's May 1st..
            since you are 1 day ahead of me, maybe we can do a 30 day journey together!

            Best of luck and I will keep you in my prayers!
            Gidget
            Gidget 1016

            "Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out":h

            Comment

              #21
              What have I become....

              Thank you again for the warm wishes everyone. I really means a lot to me.

              Day 2 has been real rough emotionally. Some ups but some really low points as well. I think I need to get out of the house and go for a long drive and clear my head.

              Gidget I'll take you up on that offer. My plan is to stay 30 days AF and reassess at that point. 30 days seems so far away! I'll be seeing a therapist once a week (hopefully starting tomorrow). If there's any good that can come of all this is that I'm committed to accepting help with my self-esteem/depression issues, as opposed to hiding from myself and everyone around me.

              Comment

                #22
                What have I become....

                Hi Lost1,

                Glad you found us!
                I was pretty deserate looking for help myself a little over two years ago when I found this site. Everything has changed for me, you can do it too

                I totally understand drinking due to unresovled depression. I also had a killer case of anxiety. I tried Rx drugs but they just didn'y help. Believe it or not I found an OTC herbal product that kicked the anxiety/depression. Once that was done I was able to quit drinking once & for all!

                Keep looking & moving forward, OK? Don't dwell on the past, it's history, you can't change it but you can create a good future for yourself & your loved ones.

                Don't forget to use the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for some great ideas

                Wishing you the best!
                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment

                  #23
                  What have I become....

                  Okay Lost....30 days it is! I'll be checking the site daily since it is a big help. Also, InChains started a really good thread showing the progress of her 45 day quest, which is inspirational. Feel free to PM me or contact me on the thread.

                  By the way, Lavende is right......dwelling on the past doesn't help and only keeps us from moving on. I read somewhere that there are two days that we shouldn't worry about....yesterday and tomorrow.
                  Gidget
                  Gidget 1016

                  "Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free, your true creativity, your true self comes out":h

                  Comment

                    #24
                    What have I become....

                    30 days, that's a great goal Lost1. Stay with it!
                    And as for that self-esteem you're wanting to bolster, there's nothing like some achievement to do it, no matter what you've suffered in the past. One month of total AL abstinence will make your self esteem soar, honestly, regardless of how your therapy goes. Good luck
                    Jib
                    Resisting all Magical Thinking...one day at a time

                    Comment

                      #25
                      What have I become....

                      Hi Lost1,

                      Best of luck to you.

                      Break your 30 days down into little chunks and reward your progress with little treats every 7 days or so.

                      Star x
                      Formerly known as Starlight Impress.

                      Comment

                        #26
                        What have I become....

                        When does this nightmare end???

                        Comment

                          #27
                          What have I become....

                          Hi lost and welcome to MYO , i just read back over this thread and you have already got some good advice , but like Lav said the past is the past it's the here and now that count's . how have you been over this last few days?
                          AF 5/jan/2011

                          Comment

                            #28
                            What have I become....

                            I haven't been doing well at all. The shame and guilt is more then I can bare.

                            Comment

                              #29
                              What have I become....

                              Hi Lost,

                              I truely believe the nightmare does end you just need to want it enough to end.

                              I had the same thought 100 odd days ago I was in a bad bad place and didn`t see an end to my own nightmare but I got through and it has ended for me now so please take all the good advice given to you and love yourself somemore and you too can stop this awful destructive path we have found ourselves walking.

                              take care

                              Luv Flo x
                              Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

                              Comment

                                #30
                                What have I become....

                                were you able to get any days AF? when we drink everything seems worse
                                AF 5/jan/2011

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