In a bad way

[CakeQueen]

Hello , I am a disgrace . I am sat here still in pjs and its almost 12.15 lunch time.
I have washing to hang on the line and supermarket shopping to do also wash my hair which hasnt been done since Friday,and tidy the house , but when the kids went to school and I had 3 large vodkas and then fell asleep on the sofa, great mum , I know I am an alcoholic, there said it, I need to go to my gp I cant handle the wd symptoms when I dont drink, I keep myself topped up all day so in effect I am never sober, I am so worried about going to my doctor and confessing but I need help I cant do this any more

[Rusty]

In a bad way

Cakequeen:l

I would run, not walk, to your doctor, and admit your problem. I think your doctor will bend over backwards to help if you say you have major withdrawals when you don't drink. It will put your mind at ease. Also check out the Toolbox thread and get your sobriety plan together. Baby steps....get into see your doctor right away. Keep us posted!

[madmans]

In a bad way

Hi Cakequeen the first steps can be the hardest to take but without taking them nothing is going to change. The good news is you have already taken your first step by admitting your an Alcoholic . The first few days can be hard but are worth it . the first thing i would do is pour the vodka down the sink and if you plan to see your doctor make an appointment now.

[vintage girl]

In a bad way

Cake Queen, well done on taking the first step and admitting you have a problem. You will find a lot of amazing support and advice here to help you. If you are drinking in the day and keeping yourself 'topped up' all the time it would be a good idea to speak to your GP. I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone. :l

[CakeQueen]

In a bad way

Thank you I am going to ring my gp this has to stop and the sooner I admit it to him or her I will have taken my first step, has anyone got any idea on what they may perscribe to help the wd

[Rusty]

In a bad way

CakeQueen,

I have never experienced w/ds, but from what others say, probably Librium or Xanax. You have taken two important first steps: admitting you have a problem and willing to ask for help. I didn't do either for 3.5 years and once I did, I felt an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders.

[CakeQueen]

In a bad way

Oh Rusty they are a nightmare for me, its headaches, shakes, pains in my legs , its horrid , yet pour a vodka and coke and withing twenty mins they have gone I do think If i can get through the first few days I will manage stopping

[fluff]

In a bad way

Hi Cake- Can you try taking Xanax and aspirin -the Xanax will help stop the shakes and the aspirin for you headaches...Hope you feel better soon!

[CakeQueen]

In a bad way

I have an appointment with my gp in the morning so the ball is rolling , I am going to die of embarrassment telling them , but if I dont stop I am going to probably die anyway so even Ms I am in control of everything realises I cant do this without help

Thanks again everyone xx

[madmans]

In a bad way

Don't be embarrassed , Doctors deal with this all the time and don't give it a second thought.

[42cat]

In a bad way

Hi Cake. I don't post very often, but tune into the site quite regularly. Lots of wonderful people here and I'm thankful I found the place years back.

I just wanted to say that I was right where you are (as are/were a lot of people here). I couldn't let the drink (vodka in the end) out of my system, or the shakes and withdrawals would start. Got to a point where I needed to get up in the middle of the night to have a top-up ... and in the morning the first one was required, but a killer to get down .. took a vomit or two before it would stay ... and then I had to bring some to work, of course, because I absolutely couldn't let withdrawals set in during work. *sigh* ... Not very pretty.

Long story short, I tried to wean off and did great ... but got stupid and weaned myself back on (and worse than ever before) ... and eventually ended up in the hospital with jaundice and liver failure and could have died .. I thank the Big Guy every day that I am here and have this second chance.

Good for you for going to your Dr. now, before it gets life threatening (because you know that's the direction it's headed) ... And please let us know how things go and how you're feeling ... We're all in the same boat here. ((hugs))

~C.
.... Sober for good, since July/10.

[RedJib]

In a bad way

CakeQueen, unless I missed it on another thread, you haven't said what quantity of AL you've been ingesting each day, but if it is quite high, your doc may want you to detox in a safe/supervised setting, at least for 48 hours or so. It might seem overwhelming (regardless where you actually decide to do it), but try to remember, even in the worst moments: it WILL get better! The awful feelings, the sickness and the aches and pains; they are the symptoms of withdrawal and they WILL diminish and fade away. They WILL! It's so hard to believe this (and not just give up and have a drink) when you're in the worst of it, so I urge you to practise saying it to yourself--even out loud--before you begin withdrawal. "It hurts. I feel terrible. But this will pass." Repeat it a bunch of times.

You can do it. Really, you can do it. Don't give up on yourself.

[CakeQueen]

In a bad way

Well its 6.20 am today is the day I stop. I am up I dont sleep that well and I have only been up an hour and am already feeling like rubbish. I am shaking .I hope to god that my doctor will give me something today to help me with this.

I watched the you tube videos from the link that was posted on here yesterday. Harrowing was not the word. I am going to try post my progress on here and keep super busy today.

[CakeQueen]

In a bad way

Sorry I didnt see the other replies I just refreshed the page,
I am drinking almost a bottle a day, and 42cat that sounds so like me. I cant be admitted to a detox, I work for myself and have commitments to customers. I also have two children well they are 14 and 15 I have done 9 days af before, a couple of years ago now though.

I am so worried about going to the gp today

[Seethepony]

In a bad way

Don't worry about what the GP thinks. Believe it or not - and this might come as a shocker to you - you aren't the first alcoholic on the face of the earth and nor, I doubt, are you the last.

It's not anything anyone choses to be so there's no shame in it.