ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

[tiredofthis]

round and round and round I go do I ever learn????? seems not!!! what on earth is the matter with me I am p!ssing my life up the wall!!!!!!!!!!!! so flookig ashamed fed up and stuck !!!

[mario]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Get yourself a plan, get yourself a goal,post here some more as the help advice and support here is fantastic.Go for it.

[jobe1023]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Hi triedofthis I have 9 days AF and starting to feel great someone at an AA meeting asked me if I wanted a 1 week coin and I said no I have a draw full of them .Hang in there we can do this come to this site every day .I'm not a big AA fan but at this point in my AF quest I will take all the support and advice I can get. I stopped smoking about 6 years ago and I know it got easier after time I tell myself it will also be true with AL .It's fine to kick yourself once in a while but don't dwell on it remember you got here so you are headed in the right direction.

[Doggygirl]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

tiredofthis, I totally understand how you feel. Totally been there done that. It took me many many years to finally accept that I cannot drink safely, ever. Quitting drinking was hard, but not as hard as the consequences of drinking were starting to be.

Have you downloaded the my Way Out book from the Health Store? That's a good start.

jobe, I quit smoking before I quit drinking too. You are right that not drinking will get easier with time just like not smoking did. At least it has been that way for me.

I used to be ADAMANT that I would never go to AA. I since started going, and I have found it very helpful to have the face to face support, make some new non-drinking friends, etc. We all have to find what works for us and it's not always the same. What was important for me was to stop ruling out "this way or that way" and start being willing to try anything until I found what worked for me. Very humbling process, but that's what set me free.

Lots of people around here have stopped drinking. If we can do it, so can you.

DG

[tiredofthis]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

thank you for your good advise - oh I am so fed up scared of doing AA because of the profession I am in scared of admitting to doc because of the profession I am in .... I wish I could sleep for two months to get this evil AL out of my system ...

[tiredofthis]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

here is something scary, i don't even remember posting my initial post above but saw it in need hlp and thought geez taht sounds just like me how sad am i .......

[Marshy]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Hi tired,

It took me a while to admit things to my doc, and it took me a while to go to AA. Not because of my job (in fact, I'm in a profession with a reputation for heavy drinking) but because I was just plain scared.

Anyway, maybe you can try those things in the future. In the meantime, there are lots of other things you can do today - reading and posting here for a start, gaining information about what has helped other people to break this addiction and what might help you.

The Toolbox thread is a good read https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html - it has all sorts of useful information like this in it:



What is a plan, and how do I get one???


I can't count how many times I have made the suggestion to new folks here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of alcohol abuse.

SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one?

The MWO book, and what we call the MWO program, discuss and recommend a number of elements that have proven very helpful to many, many people who have used them. They include (and I have added a few, based on my own experience and that of many MWO members):
Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
Hypnotherapy (you can buy the recordings on the MWO site in the "store")
Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
Dietary supplements (see the MWO book, the "store" here onsite, and the threads here on "Holistic Healing")
A healthy diet, and regular meals
Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
Spending a significant amount of time here at MWO, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
Going to AA meetings
Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"
Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; we certainly will benefit from coming here and talking about it.

Making a plan, and following it, is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

Post by Work In Progress

[Accountable for Me]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

I know how you feel! It took 10 years before I did something about my drinking. I wasted 10 years of my life!

Even though we cannot change the past we can definitely change the future.

Making a plan really helps. Welcome!!

[joebloggs]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Me too

Hey,

I've just read the book today. Time for me to face up to this shit. Tried not to have wine in the house tonight and have hit the Gin. Going to the Health Store on line and get prepared.

Surely life it worth more than this.

Be hopeful and strong

JB

[Nelz]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

I decided it was time to quit when I woke up in ICU with no clue how I got there.

I didnt hurt anyone(except my Wife, emotionally), I wasnt driving, I just did something reallly stupid, that I wouldnt do sober.

I remember waking up for a spell, and not being able to form a normal sentence, even though at that point, I had all my wits about me....I thought I might stay that way forever.....talk about scared straight.

In time, Im sure Ill share this story, just not ready to yet.....I have never in my life been so scared, I thought I lost it all(the hospital was talking about keeping me there, and making me go to an inpatient treatment center), looking at it now, as bad as it sounds, Im glad it happened.

I have not had a drink or even a craving for a drink since then. I still plan on getting "some" sort of therapy/recovery help.

I dont ever want to be that scared again!

If I can do it....anyone can do it....Im not anyone special

[tiredofthis]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Thank you very much Marshy for the plan I will certainly look to taking that up, I admire you for coming here and still contributing even though you have been AF since Dec 2008. Well done Nelz for hitting 7 days AF and very sorry to hear you have been very ill but if you fully recover and I hope you will at least it did one thing and scared you into action. Joebloggs I need some action too, I really need some AF time and have no idea why I can't kick my ass into gear and just do it!!! I wish I could have some buddy system but don't want to go to AA, don't know why, I guess I don't want to participate in the faith side of things. Good luck everyone in your journeys

[janka]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

I too avoided AA. But I went because I admitted to myself that doing things "my way" was not working. Anyway, I went and made some very nice friends, who too find it difficult to take leaps of faith. I reframed my thinking ... here's a group of people who come together to just feel better. That's all ... it does/can help.

[cpn1004]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Tiredofthis,
Do what you have to do. I drank for over 30 years and now am about two weeks from 18 months sober. Like DG I thought I would never go to AA, but I do enjoy the face to face with other alcoholics. Hopefully you will find your way out.

[tiredofthis]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

thank you Phil and janka I am glad that you found support from AA, you know its stupid the thought I have that stops me going along side the career reason "what if I see someone there I know!!" but if they are there they are surely looking for what I am..... but I would keep seeing that person to myself and not discuss that with others... would they? Day 1 starts tomorrow tired of these ever decreasing circles that my life has sunk into. Onwards an upwards

[Doggygirl]

ffs what has happened to me over the last 9 yrs?????

Hi again tiredofthis. As I read your posts I remember how tired I used to be!

Have you read the My Way Out book? Read the toolbox thread? Made a written plan? Wishing for sobriety did not make it happen for me. I had to get busy. ACTION. Going to AA is part of that action for me. (and I see all kinds of people there who I also see at business functions - and nothing negative has ever come of that for me. Drinking poses far more business risk to me than AA attendance does...) You may or may not benefit from that. But do SOMETHING. Wishing didn't make it so for me.

DG