I haven't had a drink since then. Well, until tonight. I was so sick from the alcohol - it wasn't just a hangover, I was sick for three days - that it seemed easy not to drink. It's the first time I have had a drink-free night in almost a year. I still thought about it, but was nauseous, so it seemed 'easy' not to. Today I got my appetite back. And now that I am not focusing on being ill, the pain from the breakup has hit me full force and I am falling apart.
I have put my kid to bed (I'm a single mom), have no friends to come around on a Friday, and am so so so sad I want to die. How am I supposed to resist? I got rid of all the alcohol in my house. But I have two browser windows open right now. This is the one. The other is 'Mr Delivery' - a service that delivers alcohol at the press of a button (and food too). I have no-one to turn to right now. I don't have the strength for this. Please someone say something to make me not do this. I will hate myself in the morning. But I hate this sadness even more.
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