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    #1

    Help needed now. About to order vodka

    My boyfriend of 9 months, who I was head over heels in love with, broke up with me last Saturday. My reaction was to dive into a bottle of vodka on Sunday, drink all day, go to sleep, wake up Monday morning and start drinking again. I've never done that. That Monday night I admitted to my parents and sister that I have a drinking problem.
    I haven't had a drink since then. Well, until tonight. I was so sick from the alcohol - it wasn't just a hangover, I was sick for three days - that it seemed easy not to drink. It's the first time I have had a drink-free night in almost a year. I still thought about it, but was nauseous, so it seemed 'easy' not to. Today I got my appetite back. And now that I am not focusing on being ill, the pain from the breakup has hit me full force and I am falling apart.
    I have put my kid to bed (I'm a single mom), have no friends to come around on a Friday, and am so so so sad I want to die. How am I supposed to resist? I got rid of all the alcohol in my house. But I have two browser windows open right now. This is the one. The other is 'Mr Delivery' - a service that delivers alcohol at the press of a button (and food too). I have no-one to turn to right now. I don't have the strength for this. Please someone say something to make me not do this. I will hate myself in the morning. But I hate this sadness even more.
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    #2
    Help needed now. About to order vodka

    Hiya, Hermit :hallo:

    Another fellow South African! Whereabouts are you from?

    As Sheri said: DON'T DO IT and hang around here instead.

    You'll feel terrible and guilty tomorrow, not to mention physically sick. You also need to be there for your child.
    I'll do whatever it takes
    AF 21/08/2009

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      #3
      Help needed now. About to order vodka

      Thanks you three.
      I didn't do it. I found a last hidden bottle of vodka (that I didn't see when I was getting rid of it all), that had the equivalent of a half shot in it. Even less probably. Drank that. Felt stupid. Went out and counted the vodka bottles in the shed. Realised I can't keep doing this. Made tea. Am now here again and also watching a movie.
      You guys have helped by just being there. And the advice is good too.
      And Tip - I'm in Cape Town.
      Sheri - what you say about the sadness I'm going through is true. I just hope someday I see it. The sadness is overwhelming and I haven't yet understood the breakup.
      Molly - I think I will feel stronger tomorrow for not placing that online order for the vodka. So thanks.

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        #4
        Help needed now. About to order vodka

        Hermit;1125228 wrote: Thanks you three.
        I didn't do it. I found a last hidden bottle of vodka (that I didn't see when I was getting rid of it all), that had the equivalent of a half shot in it. Even less probably. Drank that. Felt stupid. Went out and counted the vodka bottles in the shed. Realised I can't keep doing this. Made tea. Am now here again and also watching a movie.
        You guys have helped by just being there. And the advice is good too.
        And Tip - I'm in Cape Town.
        Sheri - what you say about the sadness I'm going through is true. I just hope someday I see it. The sadness is overwhelming and I haven't yet understood the breakup.
        Molly - I think I will feel stronger tomorrow for not placing that online order for the vodka. So thanks.
        I'm in Stellenbosch, hermit - we're practically neighbours!

        Thank feck we don't have a Mr. Delivery! Otherwise I would have been one of their best customers in my drinking days!

        And :goodjob: for making a sensible decision.
        I'll do whatever it takes
        AF 21/08/2009

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          #5
          Help needed now. About to order vodka

          Hermit - ditto to what the others said. Why don't you come on over to the Army thread. We're mostly all in your time zone and people will be posting on and off for the next few hours. Could definitely help you get through the difficult hours. This is a thought of mine I posted quite some time ago that others have found helpful...
          It takes much less effort to get through "the witching hour" than it does to get through a whole day with a hangover. Or in your case, several days, unfortunately. Please do whatever you can to keep your mind off the vodka. Plan something to do with your child over the weekend, get a good book, a DVD, play some on-line games, go to Google street view and virtually travel to a city or country you've always wanted to see. Or as I said above, come on over to the Army or some other thread where others are constantly posting and join in the conversations. Best of luck getting through this. You CAN do it!:l
          For every 60 seconds that you are angry, you lose a minute of happiness.
          AF since 10/10/2015:yay:

          Comment

            #6
            Help needed now. About to order vodka

            Sheri;1125233 wrote:


            You will suvive!

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I[/video]]YouTube - ‪I Will Survive‬‏

            Sheri
            I prefer this version:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eim5jLlEPYI&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - ‪I Will Survive - Aliensong‬‏

            :H
            I'll do whatever it takes
            AF 21/08/2009

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              #7
              Help needed now. About to order vodka

              [now that I am not focusing on being ill, the pain from the breakup has hit me full force and I am falling apart.

              Hi Honey:
              It's the 'hit me full force' which caught my attention. Unfortunately, Vodka or no vodka, the situation stays the same buts keeps hitting 'full force' every time we get back to not drinking... It is so awful to endure those body slams but if you just get through it once and stay there.. less and less and less... sort of thinsg?? Does that make sense? Also, you have your munchkiin there with you. You guys can snuggle. Watch Caillou? Keep posting and X out Mr. Delivery
              On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
              *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                #8
                Help needed now. About to order vodka

                I really sympathize with you. It was a breakup that triggered my alcoholism over 25 years ago. It's like getting hit by a ton of bricks. I wish I never turned to AL to numb the pain in the first place. My relationship with AL has been a thousand times more painful over the years than a breakup with any one ever ever was. Good job sticking with it! Good luck.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Help needed now. About to order vodka

                  Hermit -- just go easy on yourself ... go easy. It'll pass and be okay. Settle down ... shhhh
                  Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

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