F*%, it's got me again. :(

[Wagoneer]

F*%, it's got me again.

Hey Bean - just saw this post. I have not been on as much as usual, but Molly is right on the mark. This struggle is hard, but well worth it. I am almost 9 months sober (a wino) but still have urges every so often I will not lie. I don't succumb to them, but they are there. Whiel it seems that drinking away your problems is a good idea at the time, take my word for it, it just exacerbates the problem tenfold. ESPECIALLY when you are done drinking and filled with anxiety and remorse. I pray that your life calms down a bit, you feel better and you find support and love here in your journey. You are worth the effort to be sober. You will find things out about yourself that alcohol has been hiding. You will see your beauty and strength and worth. It is freaking awesome. We are here for you - and for all the rest of you who need friendship, love and support. The people on here are amazing. Best wishes to you! Sorry to ramble!

[Bean]

F*%, it's got me again.

Thanks all for the great replies. Waggy!! Haven't seen you around for a while. I am so impressed and happy for you that you are still AF. Can't believe how fast the time goes (though I know it doesn't always seem that way!). You will be reaching your one year milestone before you know it.

Happy to say that I am feeling SO SO much better. A lot of it has to do with ending my relationship - it wasn't abusive or horrible in any way, just not really going anywhere and the feeling of being in limbo was really starting to mess with my emotions. Since we've broken up, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I can move on and that has brought a sense of peace. And when I feel peaceful and centred and that all is well in my world...I don't want/need to drink.

Onwards and upwards...
Bean